dubai_phil

Oh bugger, just checked - I have a problem. My suitcase for the week weighs in at 17.5Kg, that's fine. But the suitcase containing my notes for the Motivational speech is coming in at 47Kg. Damn, am gonna get stung for excess baggage on wheels instead of in my head for a change

:smt026:smt026:smt026 May Allah (PBUH) bestow a million blessings upon you and your four wives p.s, what would you like in your bottle from Duty Free in return Meanwhile I think I'm packed and ready. Fat Bstd stupid T-Shirt to wear during the Warm Up - check Shorts that have been worn once - check Car Boot sale football boots (this year sprayed with anti athlete's foot spray YUK) - check Hand Printed After Party invites for the Emirates Hosties on the Flight - check Special glasses for Nickh so he can see the referee waving my subs onto the pitch - check Anti-Pheremone wipes to scare away those things that might once have been female at 3am in that 80's bar - check Nurofen andRred Bull so I can get up Friday in time to get back to the Airport - check All those behind the scenes stories about the takeover - yeah right PR & Media Management for Dummies - check, check, check (That's 3 copies, one for AA, one for Storrieteller and one for LLS) Proof of funds from yet another dumb local to show to AA so TSW can make our formal offer for the Skates - Oh yes So, that's it, off to the Subways gig - hopefully mine will be Tuna Mayo & Jalapenos - thanks for that nick I'll pop back from the Lounge at the airport tomorrow morning with something suitably motivational. Good luck with the printing, last minute training and organising. And to all our Lurkers on this thread, get out from behind the keyboard and come and give us some REAL abuse, you know you want to and one thing we can guarantee...... Our boys will put on one of the best damned football matches to be seen at SMS until late July!

The truth can now be told.

Hang on a minute, you already have a job, throwing the water bottles at Nickh, oops sorry for our players. Or does this mean Granty didn't get you a VIP entrance armband? Who's gonna get my Magners now?

Discovering on a Friday that your driving licence expires tomorrow morning, when you will be at the airport about to fly to UK to collect a rental Car. And the Muslim weekend means the renewal place is shut until Sunday

Yeah, eventually, after Willie Walsh went up and (for some unfortunately) managed to land again.. The original ban was one interpretation of a report by a previously unheard of operation. Articles in teh media indicated it was taken by one person on H&S reasons. It wasn't (originally) based on any known facts or evidence. Hence why now there isn't a blanket ban. I may be wrong but the Torygraph & local media covered it in this manner

People in pubs who keep checking their mobile phone for txts or calls.... It's WORKING alright? You simply don't have ANY friends

OK so I am an idiot. Could you please quote all the incorrect interpretations I have made? Let us start with the swimming pools that have regulations about swim wear and move onwards. PC is a root of all evil. It stems from an Industry that has been hijacked from it's original ideas of promoting respect and understanding of alternative cultures into a Political Career. Relationships between cultures are about respect, education and understanding. They are not about imposing edicts and insane laws. PC is about instilling Fear in the population in case it MAY cause offence. That mindset has populated huge streams of the world including Health & Safety. They are not based on Facts they are based on Assumptions. The Ash cloud caused H&S Jobsworths to implement the no fly zones IN CASE. It is like the idea a Policeman could be fined if he jumped into a river to save a drowning child because he did not wait to call in specialist equipment and trained staff. The FACT is that the intentions started out, but because of idiotic statements and arrests and fines the world now will do nothing. Live life as a Racial Minority for a while and you will see the wrongness of what these fools preach. Many of them have never set foot outside into the real world or travelled but seek to impose their ideas and ideology on others. Intolerance and lack of respect are the evils that affect cultural relationships, that is about education and understanding, it is about ensuring that messaging in the education, media and culture learn. Political Correctness is about toeing the party line and issuing edicts and laws that offend the people they are targetted AT and cause greater discontent and greater resentment, so poisoning the ability for REAL progress to be made. Political Correctness & Health & Safety is run by people looking to make the right impact so as to improve their career. They destroy the good that the true believers in the organisations actually achieve.

Ah how sweet, the return of The Communists. "How come that only in the UK people have not woken up to that fact that Communist systems exist purely to place Power and Wealth into the Hands of the Party Elite. They don't take from the rich and re-distribute, they simpy take as much as they can from everyone and use it to build their Dachas and trading Empires." Quote from a friend who was a former CP Committee member in Russia

Drivers in the City http://www.thenational.ae/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100520/NATIONAL/705199833 This was on the motorway about 800metres from my place, the ****s do this in the local streets until 3 or 4 am and the cops go and watch. But if an expat has a car that is dirty - we get fined Idiots in Shopping Malls who are so unaware of their surroundings. (We have a new game when pushing a trolley - just stay in a straight line and walk slowly and see how many people walk into you while on their phone)

Take care of the pitch please peeps, we don't want it damaged for the highly tuned athletes who will be gracing the grass later on the week!

Do any of you other non-uberfans have to jump through hoops to get this on your local TV/Satellite Systems? Over here we have 3 service providers, OSN who just lost the PL rights. Star who used to have it but now have most of the cricket rights to World Cups etc and then Al Jazeera who had this seasons CCC & L1 rights. OSN had shops everywhere so was easy to get subscriptions. But we only found out about 3 weeks ago that Al Jazeera were showing the WC. Nice planning that. Then the search started, how the feck do you get that channel? Shops didn't sell subscritions, nobody was selling "Sky Style" pre-programmed boxes. Finally this Wednesday a Journalist finally discovered that they sell Smart cards at Gas stations. All the ads were in Arabic, the station staff have no idea and can't even find the cards forst time round. We have to pay 120 quid for a card that gives us coverage and also subscription for 12 months. We finally get that home and hey presto, they don't fit in our existing OSN boxes. So it's another 300 quid to find an engineer to come and install, tune in and get you up and running. Annoying as hell but at the end of the day, still a lot cheaper than paying 5 quid a pint to stand in a packed bar full of UAE locals wearing Argentina shirts for every England Game and giving it large Great, so Football in UK & elsewhere sucks in truck loads of money for the TV rights but the punters around the world get royally screwed with customer service that makes Unite look Consumer Centric. Anyone else having weird troubles around the rest of the planet? Rant over

And another small point. Flew on a BA flight to Euro 2004. The return co-incided with an England game. Nothing, only found the result when I got into the car. Flew from Japan via Hong King with Cathay in 02. As we were bumbling along the Captain comes on and says I'm sure you will all be happy to know England just thrashed Belgium. Flew Emirates in 06 back from Germany and the Arab Captain comes on and says great news England just reached the Quarter Final. More supportive of England than Britain's finest. Oh and yes I like the push the button idea, will do that when use them for my hols in July

Old story We all know this was done years ago. We have more than enough evidence over the years that Alternative/Artifical Life forms have been created and post regularly on here

That sounds a difficult task. Better find someone other than nickh to do it then Meanwhile just to confirm are Away team wearing This season's Away Kit or something from about 1979 that as left over in the back of the office? Have to pack the right coulored suit;)

Quite a few would be available next Thursday evening around 6:30, just PM the home team .....

Think this should be one for fans everywhere to Mail to Nick Clegg - he wants to scrap stupid laws/rules. We're allowed to FLy ENgland flags down here during the World Cup & all the bars are full of them. So can fly the flag in a Muslim Country but cannot do it in UK in case it offends Muslims. Utter boll1x

nick, can't you have a word with your guys. I know we all need to focus and take the big match seriously, and I know that players afterparties are big events, but I think it is going a bit far now. I've just heard that Debenhams have had to employee Security Staff in their Cosmetics Department due to the increase in harrassment of their staff. Apparently a number of unfit overweight types have been going in and inviting the staff to our After Party with promises of a free Roast after dinner. It seems this has caused a number of complaints and TSW members are now banned. And before you moan, we know it must be the Home team under your direction, as the complaints were coming from the female members of staff. Apparently theyt are upset because THEY haven't been invited to the party. I'll pass by there in the week and make it up for oops to the young ladies .

Yes It will be on a long metal tube thing made in Seattle with some bits on top and at the side It will pass into Iranian airspace, curving round across Iraq and up into Turkey. If we take the northern route we will pass close to Crimea, if southerly then we will be rising to around 38,000 feet as we pass over Romania and in into Germany. We will start our descent as we cross trhe CHannel on the Dutch Belgian border before going round in pretty circles over Esssex. Flying time will be around 7 hours 20 minutes and it will be a Boeing 777-300, quite possibly the ER version which gives a greater cargo capacity. The Entertainment system will offer over 200 channels. The seating will be in a 3-4-3 formation (unlike our team) An early lunch will be served about 1.5 hours out of Dubai comprising 4 courses and will have those 37.5cc bottles of Wine to accompany it. The bar service will of course precede the meal service. I will of course be sitting in my own personal named seat in the forward apert of the economy class section, and as I am a celebrity, the Cabin Services Director will come and personally greet me and check for anything else she could do to make my flight more enjoyable. HTH OH, sorry you meant any news - yeah will be away Sat morning at this time not showing any problems - In The Boathouse about 7:30pm

Mariners (Seaview) is more fun and the band is better. Yorke is much much bigger and the product on offer has a wider range of choice (ie it's not a Chinese Takeaway). The band there is also good and a Western one so the accents don't annoy so much. So if somebody is window shopping or taking tourists around Yorke wins. For a fun night out and go home alone Mariners every time. (Would NEVER take the kids for a night out at the Yorke for example, but 1st thing on their itinerary when they come is the night at Mariners)

OK that's good news, he'll only last until the first throw in and woosh he'll be off and running I don't need to presume to pick a Captain. We have a team of Natural Born Leaders Oh and Granty of course, it IS his ball we're playing with after all

Oh HIM Wotshisname thingumybob bloke chappy matey. Well if you run in to him again tell him we must do lunch Meanwhile well played Morgan. Have delegated the GF to go find the World Cup Satellitte Channel subscription that inculdes Eurosport access maybe insh'allah bukra malesh

Don't be silly. We have already noticed that an awful lot of the Few seem to be Intellectually Challenged. This stuff will continue until such time as they have squeezed every last penny they can from their Season Ticket renewals. After which they will be left with their Academy Team & Paul Wotton. Can't believe you haven't learnt from our experience :yawinkle:

Yeah but Al Fahim didn't........... There are an awful lot of thick people in the World with money. They just haven't found another one yet