Crouchie's Lawyer

I would like to think that im as loved and loathed as the rest of yall now and part of the TMS furniture, there are some very funny characters here

Blame the other spammer MB, he introduced me! Once I found this place I got comfy, its my kind of humour and passes the day sitting in a boring office! I know my humour may not be to everyones taste, however, since this £5 malarky, its been a bit quiet in here so I start threads to get it going. Seems there are a lot of people who just 'watch' the forearm and dont really start threads. The last 4 threads had a combined 122 posts on them so people do tend to post. Anyway, you have started two random threads tonight so you just as much of a spammer! I think it was today that there were 21 people watching the forearm but no posts for 30 minutes. As soon as a thread is started it gets people talking again. Im like a saviour! Anyway, the threads I start normally do quite well

If I had a thumb print on my head I wouldnt have gone out anyway last Sat! Its about keeping them happy. I take it you dont live with your Mrs then?

D!cko, whats your avatar?

I fear I may end up being the most AIDS infected person, so ill get in early. Probably Plastic, he appears to be a moody little fella. I have no 'beef' with anyone else on here as everyone else seems to make me laugh quite a bit even if they do take the peace out of me (Deppo...)

Because last Fri was 1 year till I get married teh Mrs wanted to spend a nice evening in, however realised she had made plans already to go to a reiki lesson she had pre-booked so asked if it could be postponed to the saturday. I said fine, and went out on town Fri night. My magte then asked if I wanted to go over his for a smoke on the saturday so I grovelled to the Mrs saying I would spend all Sat day with her, go out for a nice meal etc if I could go over my mates in the evening. She wasnt happy and basically said 'do whatever you want' As I had already overstepped the line I went over my mates anyway as there would have been nothing I could of done to make it any difference. She said she would forgive me if I took her and her mate and picked them up after to a restaurant for her works do tonight. So I took them earlier and went to the pub. Just got back and gotta pick her up in an hour so catching up on heroes while on here. My back still f*cking hurts though

Yeah right!

Cheers Hamster, ill give it a go. Funnily enough, I have had better advice in TMS than I got in the f*cking doctors!

Henleys? Explain? So why are you on here tonight at 11:30 you saddo?

Yes I do, I keep them locked in a cupboard and get them out for special boobilicious occasions to play with them. My lie is that I'm not a perfect size 8 with a peachy bum & big titties.

We are not all like you Deppo, some of us can get REAL girls. That move, breath and talk!

Or why dont we just say they are not troops? Just good old fashion civil war with civilians amassing an army?

Isnt that the amount of time you get put down for, for beastiality?! :shock:

I have Kate Garraways breasts

I hope that was through sharing a needle, I would hate to think you bummed him or even worse, let him bum you!

I fixed your typo, no need to thank me

Ah, I didnt think of that part, good point. You havent been on here much recently Bungle?

I reckon we would have them. We are a lot bigger than they are (country size) and we have all the knife crime chavs who we can throw out on the front line innit. Although, with the Scots taking advantage upfront, would the Welsh take us from the rear? :shock:

Good job I didnt then, otherwise that would have been on the above list. Im sure had it been a Bentley or Porsche and the gimpy owner saw me do it, they would have thought otherwise though watching me drive off into the sunset. Luckily it was only a small ford van

Should have been 'I do not have sexual thoughts about Im_no_sinner' must try harder. Mine would be I am a saints trainee. I have used this, especially when on holiday before although now I doubt it would work as im a little more shall we say portly than I used to be, so is less believable.

Only six months? I would say atleast 5 years. Think about it... For me (hoping none of this will be used in a court of law): Drug possession and potentially dealing (if selling to a mate if classed as dealing, however, I must stress it is only weed not a class a) Speeding on many occasion Piracy (not your gang plank walking type) think knock off Nigel Failure to report an accident (I only pinged his wing mirror, but I guess that can be classed as an accident) ABH, although I was under 18 and the police were involved, however decided not to take it further when they realised the bloke I hit was being a gimp (no, not litterally before one of your spaztards mention it) And if your going to get really technical, then when I was 15 I slept with another 15 year old, which so I gather can be classed as statutory rape?! :shock: All in all, I would be surprised if that constituted any time, however I would be lucky to not be fined ££££'s, especially the speeding element

Touche, cheeky git!

You love me really, and thats racist btw

Is that some kind of seckshuwal practise of did she give you chylamidia (sp?) or the such

oh f::ck off you gimp, im trying to liven up this forearm as its pretty dead at the moment. Just because I chose not to slate people doesnt mean im sucking up to them. Anyway, I doubt I give you IBS as your always full of sh|t, you miserable git