Crouchie's Lawyer

Yes I do, I keep them locked in a cupboard and get them out for special boobilicious occasions to play with them. My lie is that I'm not a perfect size 8 with a peachy bum & big titties.

We are not all like you Deppo, some of us can get REAL girls. That move, breath and talk!

Or why dont we just say they are not troops? Just good old fashion civil war with civilians amassing an army?

Isnt that the amount of time you get put down for, for beastiality?! :shock:

I have Kate Garraways breasts

I hope that was through sharing a needle, I would hate to think you bummed him or even worse, let him bum you!

I fixed your typo, no need to thank me

Ah, I didnt think of that part, good point. You havent been on here much recently Bungle?

I reckon we would have them. We are a lot bigger than they are (country size) and we have all the knife crime chavs who we can throw out on the front line innit. Although, with the Scots taking advantage upfront, would the Welsh take us from the rear? :shock:

Good job I didnt then, otherwise that would have been on the above list. Im sure had it been a Bentley or Porsche and the gimpy owner saw me do it, they would have thought otherwise though watching me drive off into the sunset. Luckily it was only a small ford van

Should have been 'I do not have sexual thoughts about Im_no_sinner' must try harder. Mine would be I am a saints trainee. I have used this, especially when on holiday before although now I doubt it would work as im a little more shall we say portly than I used to be, so is less believable.

Only six months? I would say atleast 5 years. Think about it... For me (hoping none of this will be used in a court of law): Drug possession and potentially dealing (if selling to a mate if classed as dealing, however, I must stress it is only weed not a class a) Speeding on many occasion Piracy (not your gang plank walking type) think knock off Nigel Failure to report an accident (I only pinged his wing mirror, but I guess that can be classed as an accident) ABH, although I was under 18 and the police were involved, however decided not to take it further when they realised the bloke I hit was being a gimp (no, not litterally before one of your spaztards mention it) And if your going to get really technical, then when I was 15 I slept with another 15 year old, which so I gather can be classed as statutory rape?! :shock: All in all, I would be surprised if that constituted any time, however I would be lucky to not be fined ££££'s, especially the speeding element

Touche, cheeky git!

You love me really, and thats racist btw

Is that some kind of seckshuwal practise of did she give you chylamidia (sp?) or the such

oh f::ck off you gimp, im trying to liven up this forearm as its pretty dead at the moment. Just because I chose not to slate people doesnt mean im sucking up to them. Anyway, I doubt I give you IBS as your always full of sh|t, you miserable git

I spaffed on your face and t|ts, it never went in you! I see your game, trying to find a father for your bastard child to pay CSA. It will be one of the other (many) mongoloids that have bummed you! Good luck finding him though, im always a firm believer that a child needs two parents, even if they are both male!

My ar$e is still sore

Yes I can confirm she rode me like a western pony

Explains the throwing up, although that normally happens in the mornings. Thats what you get for letting a man spunk inside you though. Lesson learnt?

I lol'd, come on AV, sign up. I know there is stigma associated with it but your humour is sorely missed. Its like drugs, small amounts leave you needing more!

Basically yes. Although it stems on from a conversation I had with my mate about when he last had it off with his Mrs. For example, you would presume a highly sexed up couple like Peter Andre and Jordan f::ck like rabbits all day, but I was surprised to learn (yes I was watching it, but only as I was playing fm08 while her indoors was watching it) they didnt have secks time for about 2 months! So in a way it was boasting, and in another way, it was asking the question out of curiousity. I wouldnt be surprised if someone single like Cabbage gets laid more often than some of the people in relationships on here. Sorry to hit a nerve there The King, I feel for you that your not getting any

And how was your 'Waste of taxpayers money appointment'? Do you have AIDS then?

Cheers BTF, ill give that a go tonight. Ill omit the 'doesnt lead onto secksy time' part out when I get my Mrs to help. Ill tell her its part of the remedy!

Yup, I wonder if they will find the money?