Whitey Grandad

A 20 year period!!! You have my deepest sympathies, and respect.

One of my wife's ancestors used to have a butcher's shop in North Hampshire. In 1893 the pub next door caught fire and his shop was burnt down with it. Luckily his insurance covered his mortgage so he wasn't out of pocket but he no longer had a business and eventually went bankrupt. The judge asked him to what he attributed his downfall and his answer was: 'A change of circumstances, and a wife whose expectations exceeded my ability to fulfil them'. You have been warned.

Oh yes, the scars run deep.

My son's ex-wife was originally a nurse but she spent 3/4 years teacher training and then the only position she could get was at some sink school down Shirley way somewhere. After a term or so she gave up and is now back in nurse retraining.

I watched a part of the Udinese - Juventus match last night. Os also came on for the last few minutes and did nothing much. The commentator made some comment about 'some observers think he'll be going back to Southampton in the summer' and about him not impressing at Juve.

I would say that he's been at fault for a few goals due to his positioning.

Are we playing for money or playing for glory?

Of course if ticket prices were lower there would be more money available to spend on merchandising...

That's my feeling too. He's a great prospect but a long way off the finished article. Like all these young prospects we have to live through their mistakes whilst they're learning their trade.

Unfortunately it often is. Even JJ Thomson put a comment in his notebook to the effect 'good result, use this' when he was trying to find the mass/charge of an electron.

Either way, the whole process discredits the conclusions and doesn't help the debate.

Has the data changed in 2 years or has the interpretation? The important part is the comment 'It would be good to remove at least part of the 1940s blip' which sounds suspiciously like massaging the figures to me.

New sales v. renewals

Turns up from the dead at Easter? Must just be a coincidence, surely?

There's a book in there somewhere, or a film, or a serial in a magazine. Can I be the action hero star?

It might be pure random chance, just unlucky. There again...

I can understand why. He gives away penalties and frequently gets caught for pace.

They never get this, do they? You have to demonstrate that you're not henpecked. One tactic is to tell them at the start of the day what you might get round to doing later, but don't ever be too definite about it or they'll never let you forget it. Just let them know that it's your idea, not their's. Do you get comments like 'You've left all that stuff lying around'? I always answer: 'I haven't left it, I just haven't put it away yet'. 'Are you going to leave that there?' Yeah, I though I might. I didn't think you'd notice amongst all the shoes and handbags kicking around the floor. The one that really upsets me is 'Nobody ever puts anything away' or 'Nobody ever helps me'. There's usually only two of us here but I never know who she's talking about. It's just as well I'm tolerant and mild-mannered. We Cancerians are like that. Thick-skinned and don't show our emotions. Women, eh, what would you do with 'em?

Women hate it when you don't argue back. They'll come back with comments like: 'Don't you care? Does it mean nothing to you?' Just sit there, don't look too smug, and say to yourself: 'I am a rock, the sea flows over me and flows back again. I am a tree, I bend with the wind and spring back up again. I shall survive'. Never try to debate the issue with them logically, they don't deal in logic and if you ever prove that you're right then you'll be wrong.

Exams are nothing to worry about. Just a chance to show them how brilliant you are.

I haven't done any exams since my MSc around 1976, apart from the refereeing exam which had the highest pass threshold of all.

Don't worry, it would have hit her first

“There would have been a huge explosion with the wings ripped off and the fuselage would probably have plummeted straight down.” Unlikely to be an explosion if the plane had run out of fuel, however see Derry's comment above about engines cutting out independently.

Get a dishwasher, preferably one under 30 with big knockers so you can watch when it's being filled and emptied. Don't stay in the kitchen too long though or you might get roped in to do something.

It would be rude of us not to oblige.