Whitey Grandad

Nah, she's the reason it needs cleaning in the first place.

Did you count them afterwards?

Mine didn't hurt much at the time but after reading this lot it does now .

Just wait until that table starts spinning! Who'll be the last to come off?

It's not really a problem but I have to be careful not to tread on them

Why dunk it yourself? Why not get your butler to do it?

My balls hang a bit more loosely now, but who's going to notice?

Does 'Pole Dance' mean something different in Poland?

Saints first. If England don't qualify then I can relax and enjoy the World Cup finals.

They used to say that they did it so that if there was any trouble later they could identify the troublemakers from their clothing.

She was when I first met her but after forty years of living with me she's put on some weight and let things slip a bit. Mind you, she probably counts as 'fit' in Leeds.

Tell that to my missus. We went to Leeds many years ago and they practically stuck the camera up her nose. I had to restrain her from walloping him with her handback.

It's a long season. We're going to need all our squad once the injuries and suspensions start.

47 is no age. Look after yourselves whilst you still can.

It's the club's money, it's their choice. I love the way that so many people are making financial decisions and suggestions without knowing the financial situation.

Yeah, really disgusting. Do you have her phone number?

He left a few mm of cut tube in mine so the wound wouldn't heal until that had worked its way out. Overall it wasn't too uncomfortable. All getting a bit academic now.

There's nothing wrong with this. If one team are alert enough to be aware of what's going on then why should they wait for the other? And what on earth is the keeper doing so far up the pitch? It's just a quickly-taken free kick. They should blame the idiot forward for being in such an obvious offside position.

Now that's a proper goal.

I think part of the problem is that we all feel that with a bit more effort and concentration he could improve his game dramatically.

But reason enough not to like his style of football?

The school cannot abdicate responsibility. 'The Children Act 1989 provides that teachers have a duty of care towards the children under their supervision, as well as promoting the safety and welfare of the children in their care and the Health and Safety at Work act 1974 puts a further obligation on the school as a whole to safeguard the wellbeing and safety of pupils in its care' I'm sure the professionals amongst us could expand further on this but I'm sure that if some actions have been pointed out to the head teacher then some reasonable measures should have been taken to address the issues.

I think we lose those because of poor technique and skills, so perhaps learning how to take penalties should be high on the list?

This

I don't use a beaker. I just stand over the toilet bowl and dunk it carefully so as not to cause it to overflow. You have to remember not to flush though or else you can be stuck for hours.