Whitey Grandad

You normally get them stuffed and mounted. Or is it mounted and stuffed?

My elderly neighbour, who has two cats, woke up last week to find a large, strange ginger tom lying in bed next to him. After it had eaten all the cat food in the house and terrorised his other cats he phoned the vet. He said that it belonged to a woman at the top of our estate who had paid £2000 for a pedigree ginger tom. You see, that's the danger of catflaps, you never know who or what you're letting in to your house.

Indeed, I had this proof offered to me many years ago: 1/9 is 0.11111 recurring 2/9 is 0.22222 recurring ... 9/9 is 0.99999 recurring

Only those who put out the wrong coloured bin.

What, again ???

It's i over 8.

I'll have a Blackpool please, Bob.

Never believe a rumour until it's denied.

Related, but not quite the same... We once had a Danish customer whose first name was Bent. Bent liked to wear a black leather jacket and one evening we were all in a pub in Romsey when by business partner John went up to the bar to someone who was wearing a black leather jacket and tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned round John said "Oh I'm sorry, I thought you were Bent".

As in 'bath'?

But could he spell?

I overate?

I often like to look at things from another direction.

Do you have that problem too, Scotty?

Wouldn't that be 'constructive dismissal'?

Try replacing the £ with metre and p with cm and then imagine it with little square tiles each 1cm x 1cm. So 100p = (10p)2 which would be the same as saying that 100 tiles in a row can be arranged into a square 10 tiles by 10 tiles, but this does not equal 0.1m2 which would need 1000 tiles. The difference is between (0.1)2m and (0.1m)2

Let's just say that they didn't try very hard.

This step is wrong. There are 100 p in a £ so to go from p2 to £2 you need to convert by 1002

You're mixing pence and pounds and once you square £0.1 you are in a different dimension which requires a correction factor of 100 to get back to the one in which we live.

Yes, different units. You can square a number but pence and pounds are different dimensions.

Fractions to decimals you can normally divide in your head for most cases. For more complicated long multiplications I just use the traditional method of putting the larger number over the smaller and multiplying the top by each digit from the lower row in succession. Then you add the number of decimal places in the two multiplicands and stick the decimal point in the answer that number of places from the right. It's amazing what calculations you can do in your head with a little practice but for exam purposes you usually have to show your working.

Thanks for the update. What was the answer for number 1?

2) is three and a half times three and a quarter, so: three and a half is 7/2 three and a quarter is 13/4 multiply the two gives 91/8 which is 11 and three eighths which is 11.375 (square metres) It's difficult to write fractions so I have used words. You can easily do this calculation in your head.

F*** me, we were good. Thanks for that.

That's about how I feel. When I first saw the look in the mother's eyes it wasn't distraught or despair, it was resignation, almost as though she knew that her daughter was gone and not coming back. Just a feeling, nothing more.