Halo Stickman

I agree with all of that, except I thought Pelle started to show some promising signs towards the end of the match.

I agree with all of that, except I thought Pelle started to show some promising signs towards the end of the match.

Agree.

Agree.

Gutted with the result, pleased with the performance. Bertrand and Tadic will cause a lot of teams problems down the left flank this season.

Gutted with the result, pleased with the performance. Bertrand and Tadic will cause a lot of teams problems down the left flank this season.

Nah, probably just a friend

Great all round performance today, particularly from Chris Wood. Keep it going lads. Hopefully the weather will stay ok.

I luv 1984. I helped my DJ mate run a disco at a local holiday camp throughout that summer; it was a great gig for picking up women. Careless Whisper was one of our staple slowies, and for the livelier part of the evening we had other 1984 pop classics such as Duran Duran’s The Reflex, Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s Relax and Wham’s Wake Me Up Before You Go Go. However, even with all-time favourites such as these, sometimes my mate would struggle to get the not-so-jolly campers up onto the dance floor. One evening in particular he had to work really hard to get everyone out of their seats; he eventually managed it, only to be struck with a sudden urge for a p1ss. Off he dashed to the toilet, leaving me in charge of his turntable, with strict instructions to keep the punters dancing. A few moments later he emerged from the toilet to the sound of Paul McCartney’s Pipes of Peace and the sight of a completely deserted dance-floor – well, it was bloody dark on that stage, I couldn’t see what I was doing, and, besides, why the hell did he have such a sh1t record in his collection ffs? As punishment I was demoted to calling out the numbers at the early evening bingo – 8 and 8, two fat ladies, eighty-eight; 2 and 2, two little ducks, twenty-two, quack f*cking quack. Unless you were into the elderly or infirm that was a carp gig for picking up women. Incidentally, a good (or bad) way for feeling your age is to look up what was number 1 the week you were born (link below), or recall the first record you ever bought. Elvis Presley’s Jailhouse Rock and George Harrison’s My Sweet Lord, respectively, for me – both artists, sadly, long dead. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_UK_Singles_Chart_number_ones

I’m not sure, bletch, to be honest; all I know is that her pedigree name was Little Miss No More Lonely Nights The Seventh and her pet name was Sonia, but I shortened that to Sonia Suck My Sausage, which I must confess did cause me one or two awkward moments when encouraging her to chase my stick in the local park. By the way bletch, regarding the above, Tokes never did talk to me about this, certainly not in a harsh way; quite the contrary in fact – he seemed to really enjoy spending time with me and Sonia, especially when she bought her mate along.

Any manager that has been sacked and replaced by Steve Claridge can’t be that good. Before he joined Portsmouth he was manager at Bristol City. I lived in Somerset at the time and attended the occasional home match at Ashton Gate. The Robins fans hated Pulis with a passion. When Portsmouth came in for him their feelings were best summed up by Scott Davidson who said: "If Portsmouth want him I will drive him there myself." As Davidson was the Bristol City chairman who had appointed Pulis only six months previously, I’ve always thought his remark was quite revealing – perhaps it’s not just the style of Pulis's football that is the problem?

Damn you bletch, you’ve read me like an open book; was it my word cloud that gave me away? Oh well, I’m glad it’s out in the open; and, I’ll tell you this, I don’t regret one moment; I wouldn’t change a thing and would do it all again, in an instant. Oh bletch, if you could have seen the way she looked at me with her big dog eyes, rolled her lovely sloppy tongue, panted my name over and over and over: Halo, Halo, Halo – she was slightly asthmatic – wagged her tail and … well, Tokes has told you the rest. Anyway, she’s gone now – god knows where – she doesn’t write, she doesn’t phone. Jeez, I miss that b itch. All I’ve got is a photograph.

I’ve long suspected he was a wrong’un.

That’s a sad story bletch; kids can be cruel little bastards at times. We had a German woman called Fraulein Herring at our school; she was a brilliantly talented woman; indeed, so talented, she was actually employed to teach us English kids to speak French, which must have been difficult for her because most of us struggled to speak English. It pains me to recall how badly some of the kids treated her; I remember someone locking her into the store room for almost the entire lesson one time. She was eventually let out with about five minutes of the lesson remaining. She was very upset of course and gave us a lecture about how German children would never behave in such a way. A boy at the back of the class put his hand up and Fraulein Herring asked: “Yes Roderick, what is it?” Roderick replied: “Yeah, but England won the war Miss”. The poor woman put her head in her hands and wept.

Son’s girlfriend now going through clearing; fingers crossed she ain’t gonna be living with us for another year

Bletch, you’re right to draw parallels with the 1970s: this disparity stuff reminds me of my old secondary modern where smoking, drinking, groping, grunting, sleeping and laughing were de rigour within the teachers’ staff room; yet when we tried doing any of these things we were thrashed by Mr Whippy Cane the Bastard.

Yeah, we completely threw that away in the last 10 overs or so. But why the hell did Vince and Wheater try to smash every bloody ball when we only needed to score at just over a run a ball? They played so well up until the second power play and then totally lost the plot.

That was the most frustrating performance I’ve seen from Hampshire for quite some time.

Excellent post FloridaMarlin

Yeah, I got into a right old pickle the other night – I mistakenly thought Mrs Stickman* was asleep on the far end of the sofa when I opened a totty thread. Had to spend the rest of the evening convincing her I wasn’t surfing porn. * I know I’m contravening rule 1, but I think that’s best for everyone.

New song by Les Reed: We signed Gardos on Sunday Medical lasted till Monday Then the press went on home Leaving us alone, Side by side. We got ready for bed then So imagine my surprise when He pulled off his hair Laid his false teeth on a chair Side by side. Then he took off his false leg And laid it against the wall Unscrewed his arm, pulled out his eye Till there was nothing left At all, at all, at all, at all There I stood broken hearted Half of Gardos had departed So I slept on the chair There was more of him there Side by side.

Ah, good to see TMS is still alive and kicking – muppetry at its finest! Not to mention some nice high-brow, low-smut piccies as well. Keep up the good work fellas; I’m back off to the totty threads.

Oh yes, thanks GM, I forgot that one. 9/ Humour is a great healer

I’m guessing you’re referring to the Shane Long signing, Charlie! Seriously though, I’m sorry to read about the problems you and others on here have been experiencing or have previously experienced. You’re right, all of us at some time or other have to deal with our own problems – death or illness of loved-ones, physical or mental heath problems, marital or family break-up, job-lost or other financial hardships etc – and sometimes these, or a combination of these, can lead us into dark places. I wish there was an easy way to ride out these times; sadly, I don’t think there is – but if anyone knows of one I’d be only too glad to hear it. FWIW, here are some things I’ve picked up over the years that I’ve found to be beneficial during dark times. They’re not aimed at you, Charlie, or at anyone else on here – and it’s certainly not my intention to set myself up as some sort of two-dime preacher-man or bargain-bucket life-coach! – they’re simply things I’ve found useful myself. I’m sure others can add to the list. 1/ Accept that it’s perfectly normal to feel like sh1t at times, it doesn’t mean that you’re weak and pathetic. 2/ Never be too proud to share a problem or to seek help. 3/ Force yourself to carry on doing the things you previously enjoyed – hobbies, pastimes etc. – even when they seem pointless or worthless. They will bring moments of relief. 4/ Do lots of physical activities i.e. running, swimming, walking, gardening – in fact, anything that keeps you connected to the outside world and stops you imploding into your own head. 5/ Maintain social contact. 6/ Keep away from alcohol – when you’re feeling low, this just makes things worse. 7/ Accept that the hackneyed old cliché ‘time is a great healer’, though incredibly annoying at times, is actually true – often, things do get better, or at least you find a way to see things in a better light. 8/ When you eventually get through these dark times, cut other people some slack – they may be going through dark times themselves.