Huffton

Last season I was screaming at him to stop taking so many touches and shoot. This season I'm hoping he won't...

Georges. Been there donkeys years, simple food done well, and good friendly service to boot.

I haven't seen any managers but I did see a nice Audi with the numberplate COY1E in the Novotel car park last night.

'Keeper sustains horror injury after missing ball by 2 ft'

DOn't see anything wrong with his comments? Trying to get the fanbase onside, and why not, we all know that negativity from the stands finds its way onto the pitch, and to be fair what he says is 100% true, we can moan and ***** and argue all we like during the week, but when that whistle goes we need to be 100% behind the team.

I am ****ging several players wives as I type this

Did you say that when Bobby Stokes signed?

Don't need it up this end of the M27 though, the chances of waking up to find some cacker has tarmaced me back garden are minimal.

It says **** all, when has someone resigned and then said it was due to not being able to work with Pardew? Speculative journalism at its best. And no I'm not taking sides, yet.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Some pepper dust type stuff and someting called Get Off, that smells terrible to everyone bar cats apparently.

Really fed up now, several local cats think my garden is the local public toilet, f***ing disgusting animals. Its got to the point where I can hardly let the kids out to play in their own garden as we end up with trails of cat **** trodden through the house. Tried a few 'humane' products from the pet shop, none of which seem to work. Anyone got any sensible suggestions how to keep the little bastards away, before I resort to the air gun/bowl of tasty antifreeze options.

It was a joke, least I 'effin hope it was

With an attitude like that you should be in charge.

Its obvious. Cortese will pay off Capello's England contract and he will be coming here.

According to my mrs there was a group from Southampton on there last night. I saw them filming in the docks a couple of weeks ago so they are obviously through to the next round. In case anyone is interested. I'm not. Sorry Mr Cowell for blowing the surprise.

News report yesterday said NASA are getting involved. Should speed things up considerably.

And now a performance to match from our bowlers. If you said to me this time yesterday we would be in a position to make Pakistan follow on I'd have said you were insane...

Who did that statue? Not the same bloke that did the first Ted one was it?

Considering 5hite pitches were our undoing last season, could this be a bit deliberate?

Jammy cheating ba5tards.

Don't rate him. Too many tricks, not enough end product. Takes 6 touches when 1 will do. And as for hitting the roof....

Here, borrow mine

We all know we need two or three more players, AP knows this, therefore NC also knows. People are moaning that we haven't signed anyone yet but we need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. We are rich, seriously compared to some other clubs who are hanging by a thread. Some of these need to sell players to keep going. We have money to burn and they know it. YOu can imagine the phone call. NC: "Hello Mr Chairman, we'd like to buy your best player" Chairman: "Kerching! Yes Mr Cortese, that will be £2m more than he's worth" NC: " 'kin ell, your 'avin a laugh mate!" (in an Italian accent) Surely it would make far more sense to wait until the end of the window, when clubs who need to sell will be getting twitchy and are far more likely to let players go at a decent price. I think we just need to sit tight for a little while and the signings will come.

Hcdajfu