scotty

I decided it was time to spice things up in the bedroom, so I bought my wife a vibrator for her birthday gift. She looked startled when she unwrapped it, and said uncertainly "I'm not sure how I should take this...." "Come off it," I said. "You're not THAT innocent."

Perhaps he's suddenly found faith and put himself up for the Vatican job.

Its a good idea imo, but doesnt go nearly far enough. What St Marys really needs is vuvuzelas, they should be issued free of charge at the turnstiles and it will be compulsory to use them throughout every match. Imagine the atmosphere then!!!

Strictly speaking, he is a premiership footballer. And he had a good game yesterday, bar a couple of minor slips.

We could have guessed it.......... ...but to be fair, at least fergie gave us credit at OT.

He was also one of our more regular assist providers back in L1. Good crosser when he bombed down the wing, I lost count of the crosses he put in for SRL to nod in.

I thought the same thing, but to be fair, the Clyne/Richardson switch worked well. I thought Richardson did well when he came on.

Yep, and if the monkey hangers somehow manage to win their game in hand the skates will drop to bottom.

3 great results for us today, now lets see if we can really make them count.

Looking good so far....

Wasnt one of those two spaces Pardew's regular spot?

Someone should send this to http://www.youparklikeac*nt.com.

PMSL :lol:

Portsmouth FC are so desperate for 3 points that they've admitted driving Chris Huhne's car.

Give him credit for his comedy value, but I'd hate to have his laundry bills.

I was walking a girl home through the park after spending a fortune on her all night. "When we get to your place, am I coming in for a coffee?" I asked her. "No, you're not." she said. "If your plan was to buy sex, you can think again." "If you didn't like that plan," I said, looking around, "you're gonna hate my plan B."

I agree with all of this. And the Villa chant is utterly pathetic, if they want to applaud at a given point in their matches thats fair enough and up to them, but why the hell should the opposition supporters get coerced into it?

No idea Viking, but check with some of the regulars in the London Hotel. Never know how you might feel once you're in there.

Doesnt trip off the tongue quite as smoothly bear. The beyonce one scored quite well when I posted it on sicki, think it crept into the days highest-scoring briefly.

Can you tell that to Dalek, next time he starts banging on about Hoddle? tia.

No bites yet, Milts?

Tbh, I dislike him immensely, but I dont really blame him for our relegation. Lowe hired harry AND jim initially, only to jettison smith partway through the season iirc. They had worked as a team for some time before that.

I hope your Mrs doesnt see that, mate.

The Beyonce one is a play on the ancient joke about "how can you tell if a politician is lying?.....His lips are moving." Beyonce did her massively publicised lipsyncing of the stars and stripes at the inauguration of President Obama, hence the clearly over-subtle adaptation of the original joke. The pompey one was posted on the last day of the transfer window, the suggestion of the joke being that Messi was considering doing a deal with them, (the implication of the first line being that he might join them as a player,) and Messi responding by saying yes, he needs someone to wash his car etc.