scotty

You can joke, but were you aware that Cortese also instructed Rodriguez to fluff our best chance of the match? Wheels within wheels....

If a 15 year old girl goes to France with a 30 year old man, travelling at an average speed of 12mph, what is the probability of that girl getting sh*gged?

I'm guessing Megan Stammers "What I did in my holiday" essay is going to be one hell of a read.

Megan Stammers' family have spoken of their relief at seeing TV pictures of her safe and well in France. I know how they feel. I've been quite relieved while looking at her pictures on TV over the last few days as well.

If you feel sorry for the parents of Megan Stammers, spare a thought for the French hotel worker who had to change her sheets in the morning.

Megan Stammers seems to have survived her ordeal well. She is said to be in good health but extremely tired, in fact she described herself as "absolutely f*cked".

My scouse mate was disgusted by the Megan Stammers case. "A 30 year old abducting a girl of 15!!!" he said. "He's old enough to be her grandad."

Fair comment. The cases surfacing now should be thoroughly investigated, and if the accusations are shown to be true then the "well he's dead anyway and cannot defend himself" line should be dismissed out of hand. Its irrelevant. He either abused these children or he didn't. If he did, he should be vilified for it, if he didn't we should be investigating the source of the rumours.

No facebook for me bearsy. Most of the jokes I post on here are either what some mate or another has texted to me, or something I've thought of and texted to them.

Jimmy Saville had to stop going to church. The priests kept fighting over who got to hear his confession.

Say that in french.

Ok, try this one. Justin Bieber has thrown up onstage during a concert. Apparently he heard the news about Jimmy Saville, and his gag reflex kicked in.

"Justin Bieber vomits onstage during concert"!! That confirms it. She's pregnant.

He's right though.

Shoddy journalism from the BBC. They actually refer to him as "a comic", ffs...

The rumours about Savile have been so relentless, and gone on for so long, that its difficult to simply dismiss them out of hand. Do some research and reach your own conclusions is my advice.

Thats what he was arrested for in France, anyway. Maybe the British police will bring their own charges against him. As has been pointed out already, the statutory rape wouldnt apply in France either.

http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/rogerb/jokes/HIGNFY.txt This was a skit written by The Day Today team, supposedly. It was never recorded or performed. You have to wonder where the hell they got the idea....

Surely he was arrested on suspicion of 'abducting a minor'? You cant 'kidnap' anyone who goes with you willingly.

I'm going to a conference on Monday themed: "The Exploitation of Disabled People in Society" I'm taking my paraplegic neighbour because I can get in free if I pretend to be his carer.

Isnt there a multistorey right opposite the entrance of the carpark the markets held in? There could be a charge, but tbf your wallet is going to get raped there anyway.

I have to admit I wasnt expecting points from this game, as I mentioned on the build up thread. Whats so gutting is that we went in front and then got so comprehensively outplayed. Everton are a decent side, dont get me wrong, but to quote john cleese, "its not the despair...I can cope with the despair. Its the hope."

Somebody mentioned a specific streaming bloke recently that I meant to try out. It was someones name, not a site-type thing, a couple of people on here said it was far better quality than the normal ones, anyone remember who it was?

^^ I'm disappointed that nobody has cracked the obvious "portsmouth" joke from saint clarke's comment above. We're slipping.