scotty

I think that Pippa should moon the paparazzi in retaliation. Family honour is at stake here.

This. Couldn't agree more, that game was made for Chappers imho.

"Philip, are you alright? You've been in the bathroom half an hour now, and you sound as if you're having an asthma attack..."

Was going to say, you did all that but cant use a spellchecker?

That was my reaction initially, but look again, theyre sexier than you think. Theres even one of her rubbing oil into her c*nt! ...or, as she calls him, "Wills".

Judging by the earlier pics on Closer's own site, somebody has already been busy with the photoshop sharpening tool....

Lets hope Pippa was along for the ride.

I always buy a woman flowers after I've had sex with her. I normally put them on a lamp-post or tree, where the rest of them are.

Does 50 quid for two really qualify as "expensive"? You'd spend that in a cheap and cheerful place for 3 courses plus beers/soft drinks, surely? Also, vegan restaurants are pretty specialised, I'd think that would add a fair bit to the budget.

Difficult to call. Arse have obviously struggled for goals, but will most likely put one or two past us tbh. I can see us nicking a point with a late equaliser.

A snail goes into a pub, and notices a slug propping up the bar and drinking heavily. "What the hell happened to you?" he asks, the slug replies "I couldn't keep up the mortgage payments"

I'm sure that was a typo derry, he meant by 3 months.

Seeing as how bletchy has nominated TMS as my manor, I declare this conversation closed. Snails, ffs

I went to see the Red Arrows at the weekend. 30 minutes of fantastic entertainment, all those incredibly dangerous high-speed manouevres and amazing near-misses!! People were pointing, shaking their heads in disbelief, gasping, and even covering their eyes... Anyway, the wife finally managed to park the car so we made our way to the air show.

It had a limp what?

Such cynicism in one so young. As proof, I walked past the abortion clinic in portsmouth, a young man was outside with his sister. I heard him say "do you really want to do this?" She replied "yes. What sort of a life would it have with me as its mother?" He said, "I guess. Come to that, I dont suppose I'd make much of a father..."

I think my grandmother is getting Alzheimers, she keeps calling me Pete, though my name is Dave. Either that, or she's thinking about another bloke while I'm sh*gging her.

I wonder whether he'll shorten his ban by attending the "awareness" course

When was it postmarked? The post round here is atrocious.

I was in Portsmouth at the weekend, and a local prostitute approached me and asked if I wanted a f*ck "I've only got a fiver", I said. Luckily, she had change.

There is always the possibility that the office posted an invoice. We've had loads of post go astray recently, invoices included, in fact Ive added a request to my own invoices requesting bacs payment if possible, and taken to emailing all trade invoices.

http://www.saintsweb.co.uk/showthread.php?32745-Who-s-bird-is-this #18 onwards

Thats sounds rather like the snacks that killed Elvis Presley...

Doesnt matter, their both banned anyway....