scotty

Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to drive through Naples. I've driven in plenty of places abroad, Paris is ok despite its reputation, Madrid wasn't much fun but Naples tops the lot for pure unmitigated sweaty-palmed terror. It is horrendous. You can skirt round it on the motorway, what you lose in mileage you'll get back in survival chances and sanity.

Theres the first song, if he plays against us for sunderland...."does she take it, does she take it up the....." etc

Theres a richard gere/gerbil joke in there somewhere, but I cant be arsed to look for it...

one for dubai phil; Copper sees a woman dragging two black binliners down the pavement, theres loads of $20 bills spilling out of a rip in one of them. He stops her and says "do you know youre spilling your money all over the road?" She says "Oh no, I'll have to collect it up. Thanks." Copper says "well, where did you get all this cash, is it stolen?" She says "no. I live next to a golf course, and theres a hole in my fence alongside the 9th. Without fail, I get a load of golfers plssing through it, and they're killing my plants. So nowadays, I wait there with a pair of secateurs, and when a dlck pops through it. I wait til they're done, grab it with the secateurs, and shout "$20 or it comes off." Thats why I have all these $20 bills." Cop says "fair enough, out of interest, whats in the other bag?" She says "well, they dont all pay....."

....Wayne Carr in the afternoon.........

edited a couple of details. this makes for an even better story

Jimmy Carr, apparently. Now he's been shown up, that is.

I detect a little snakeism creeping onto this thread. Rule 1.

I'm sure the whole of Saints Web Forum would wish to offer our sincere condolences on your sad loss. ps, did you boil her or roast her?

Why is that then? Are the austrian government desperate to save their citizens money, and forego the additional taxes they would reap by not bothering? If climate change is the con-trick so many people claim, why is it that the people who stand to lose most from it are usually the same people trying to address the supposedly non-existent problem?

oh christ, yes. I saw her on top gear or fifth gear, test driving a little sports car. The miniskirt she was almost wearing just about covered her nether regions, those legs are stunning.

Decades ago, when I didn't work saturdays and had no mortgage to pay or wife to pacify, I had a season ticket at the Dell. The thing I hated about it was that as Shroppie says, you tend to get lumped in with other ST holders. That means if you get stuck next to or near an utter c*nt, you were stuck with them for the entire season. (In fact, thinking back, most of the ST holders anywhere near me tried to move.........)

What about her? That your kitchen or something?

I think he might, occasionally. Not what you'd call a regular visitor.

Quite right. I wont touch anything that doesnt come from matalan, primark or a charity shop myself. A man has to have standards.

Is that why you've made it your season's mission to ensure our fans are properly dressed, turks?

come on sammy show some optimism what do you mean if we go back down??? ffs fair point tho if we did shoot straight back down he'd be an assett in next seasons promotion push COYS!!!!

Keep quiet blakey. For two seasons daleks been predicting 17th, and for two seasons we finished second. Humour the man.

We will walk this league. Dont care about 2nd downwards. But if we dont for some bizarre reason, citeh to win it (despite their 5-2 defeat in the first game,) followed by chelski and manure. Stoke, swans and naarwich to go down. Us in 12th.

Perhaps he really, really likes Yeovil. Who can tell, it takes all sorts to make a world....

I heard that rumour as well, but it seems the russians withdrew it when they discovered how weak the euro was against the rouble.

Yeah, right. The same business leaders who cheered to the rooftops and creamed their pants when we went into the ERM and the stockmarket soared overnight because we were on track for entry into the euro. And incidentally, the same parasites who made fortunes betting against the pound while we were in it. The single biggest economic mistake this country has made in living memory, and the businessmen could only see their own short-term ends. The greeks should get out of it right now. Their economic policy is already being dictated by germany; if this election goes the wrong way for the greeks than its fair to say that the cradle of democracy is now controlled by the germans politically as well.

....just like they did last season.

edited the smiley for you. If we're going to compete with liverpool we will need to up our weeping, and quickly.