scotty

it had to be on Live Leak, didnt it.

Picked up a girl in the pub last night, told her I was going to f*ck her in the kitchen, the bathroom, the lounge and the bedroom. She gasped and said "wow, you must have some stamina".... She seemed a bit disappointed when we got back to the caravan.

Me and my wife just fostered a 17 year old lad from portsmouth. I hit him with three cans and she landed two.

+1. I do a fair bit of work with Mencap, and was very offended by hoddles comments. Good manager yes, great player yes, c*nt yes.

B or C cup is my preference, around a 40.

I have to say it, theres way too much information on this site lately. Im checking out til we sign Owen.

I dont often get outraged by anything on this site, but thats going too far. Take a good hard look at yourself and have a word...

Add my best wishes to the list. I still remember watching him as a kid in the wilton end behind the goal, Terry Paine teeing up yet another thumping header for Big Ron to bury. Happy days.

+1. He was crucial in the run in, credit where its due.

I'm counting on it, if Barca dont ream them its going to ruin my weekend.

Excellent, Smithers. (rubs hands.) Really good news, I was hoping DC would be staying on. Just need to sort out a new song now, he wasnt keen on back from the dead was he

normal

this. I lived round there for six years, the club and its fans are utter unmitigated ****s, I ****ing hate them

Cant blame giggsy for this one, alls fair in love and war and as others have said above, who wouldnt? I mean, I never heard of imogen thomas before this story broke but ffs.... On a side note, can somebody please explain to me why the hell arnold schwarzenneger would bang his housekeeper, manage to keep it secret from his wife, family, friends, and the press and media while he's under massive public scrutiny as governor of california, do all that for fourteen (fourteen!!) years, then suddenly fess up?? I am genuinely baffled.

...and talking of blood..... http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/0247468f28/when-harry-met-sally-2-with-billy-crystal-helen-mirren?playlist=featured_videos

myself

+1, give them their f*cking independence referendum while theyre hanging around doing nothing.

I havent myself, but I have a friend in the states who was talking about trying to use a proxy server to access the BBC iplayer. I will forward him this link, looks just the ticket, will let you know how he gets on.

Stowford Press is the best cider Ive ever had. Trouble is, theyve had a few faulty batches through recently, some of them taste like petrol, absolutely hideous, in fact I'm taking a case back to makro tomorrow. And the Ship had a duff couple of barrels that tasted the same.

Thats like the Mrs Merton question to debbie mcgee, "what first attracted you to the millionaire paul daniels"

Well, that all seems pretty reasonable. I can see that alright.

I wouldnt mention that while Turkish is on

ffs man, get a grip and get your priorities right!!!

Yep, that'll do.

A chelski-supporting mate reckons its redknapp. ffs I told him saggychops is lined up for the england job, he said he knows, but he's still sure of it.