Jones91

Cancun is a good shout, no chance women wearing too many clothes there...

The football game on kinect sports is brilliant!

I agree, proved himself again with that goal against Shef Weds.

Admiral/Elephant are the cheapest if you pay in 1 lump sum. - Add a female driver - Reduce your annual mileage, as you can say the other driver did those miles (if you need to claim) Simples

Also, they could be claiming on their husbands fuel....

Some things in life are bad They can really make you mad Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best... And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life... If life seems jolly rotten There's something you've forgotten And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing. When you're feeling in the dumps Don't be silly chumps Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing. And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life... For life is quite absurd And death's the final word You must always face the curtain with a bow. Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow. So always look on the bright side of death Just before you draw your terminal breath Life's a piece of **** When you look at it Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true. You'll see it's all a show Keep 'em laughing as you go Just remember that the last laugh is on you. And always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the right side of life... (Come on guys, cheer up!) Always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the bright side of life... (Worse things happen at sea, you know.) Always look on the bright side of life... (I mean - what have you got to lose?) (You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing. What have you lost? Nothing!) Always look on the right side of life...

I prefered the 'what you can/can't wear to football' thread.

I agree, lets shoot towards the itchen.

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in. "OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. "Now, do you see that branch over there?" he asked. "Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy. "Good" said the bat, "Because I ****ing didn't!"

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/s/southampton/7976418.stm

and that fat ***t with a big nose of saturday afternoons...

French Connection?

In theory all corner shops should be open Christmas day.

Ming3rs*

Plastic surgery becomes the norm and there will be a real 'lose weight pill' and no more *****rs! Not sure about winning the world cup by then though....

I've got all 3. Xbox is the best by far, notonly with better games and online service, you get sky player and windows media centre with it. Plus on the ps3 you have to buy a head set to talk to any of your friends... The xbox is quieter if you install the games on the harddrive.

That is just not on.

Lol ok, one more What do you call a frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe flop

Can we keep the xmas cracker jokes on a different thread please.

Scrap ALL benefits - they just invite more spongers to this country. There is plenty of low paid jobs out there, but there is no incentive as you get paid more for sitting on your arse at home/pub. And all the 'disabled' people can work from home.

I have enough trouble with her smelling of fish already

Does no one else think he looks cross-eyed?

I have the answer to preventing a shock when getting out of a car... You must touch the roof or metal part of the door frame when you put your foot on the ground. Then you may shut the door without getting a shock.

Labour is a Scottish party who live of southern England, just like Wales and northern England. We should give at least half our PAYE tax to the local area instead of everywhere else that needs repairing.

Kenan & Kel