Bearsy

Dunno bout the legality of this but I just got back from works do in birminghams which ended up at strip club and soon as we got there all my workmates is disappearing upstairs for "private dance" and I'm left watching their coats cos I've always said I'll never pay for sexual whatevers. Anyways this hot bird is hitting on me and I'm feeling a bit no-mates so I'm buying "private dance". She is then taking me upstairs and charging me £140 (!) and then she is taking off her clothes and grabbing my knob or whatever and making me lick on her boobs. I'm like what is that I'm tasting? And she is like it's Rihanna perfume and I'm like did you know it has actual blood in it cos I'm full of fun facts like that. Anyway I'm not sustaining much of a boner. I don't know if it's cos I'm drunken or if it's cos of my higher morality and Respect For Womens, but anyway I ask her bunch of questions bout her profession and we have some Lols or whatever and then she's like " oh noes we've been over your half hour this is gonna cost me £90 now" and I'm like oh that's a shame and I go back downstairs. So I go back downstairs and my boss is like how was it? And I'm like ok we had a nice chat and they is all lolling and calling me gay and then my boss is paying this other bird £318 to show me "good time". I ain't really up for this but I don't want to look pussy so I go along. This b!tch is even more dirty, she is immediately naked and pinned against wall and whispers romantically in my ear "no biting, no visible marks" which is apparently her only 2 rules. Next thing I notice is she has same weird smell as first bird, balls to Rihanna perfume it's obviously some kind of spermicidal body wash. Then she is wanting me to go down on her but I'm like balls to that we just paid you £318 so then she is sucking on my knob and then she is saying I should bone her but then she is saying she has just finished doing one of my other colleagues and my boss. My boner is immediately wilting! Fair play to her she is spending the rest of the time trying to get it back up but I really ain't interested no more. I'm thinking how funny it is and how stupid her job is considering I only just met her and to be honest the girl not being in to it is my ultimate turn-off so I go back downstairs and make out I knobbed her bad cos I don't want to look gay and I don't want to seem ungrateful to my boss for spending £318 for an aborted boning. So in summary, is I gay for not boning prostitute? Do you bone prostitute? Do you know that taste of spermicidal body wash? I can still taste it!

In my game Norwich won the league 3 times in a row and the champions league twice but in the final to win their 3rd consecutive champions league Grant Holt got injured and they lost 7-5 after extra time. The following season they was relegated with no wins and a total 4 points, 2 of which come against Saints.

I never thought i was intractable but I feel like I've already made my mind up with punch, and no matter how well he plays deep down in my dark bear soul I'll always think he's sh!t. I vote for the sell. £2m sounds like good cheddar!

Erm I don't think so I'm invested in these disputes now, I want to know who "wins". If it's gonna get too fruity tho you could take it to muppet shows where we is more tolerant of abuses and lols.

I think it sucks! I don't mind Registered Users being harrassed with adverts bout dogs and mature dating websites (i found out bout this when i was ban) but minted £5 full members expect better!

Oh wait my first one has got one now, guess it's slow burn!

Maybe advertisers only pay for pap links cos he is well respected poster and general trend-setter?

It's there again! Only when you say it tho! Total recall. Edit: Oh wait maybe I need to it better. Hi everyone I recommend you go on Amazon and buy a book bout dogs called Total Recall it's ace book homes!

Yeah that Laura is an absolute c*nt! Hilarious tho! I only requested one Christmas present this year, I want the big portrait photo of Paul and Laura reading book so I can hang it on my wall. That fat c*nt santa better pull through on this! Steve is Gay FFS!

Interesting. Maybe I saw the U12 version. Either that or I'm suffering from nipnesia!

Total recall How come paps post has amazon link to book bout dogs? Anyone else seeing this?

Shut up pap, it was terrible! It was worse than the original in every respect! Even the chick with 3 boobs kept her nips covered up!

Point of order tokyos I think you'll find it was me that stain called a computer spastic cos it took me a whole hour to make a statue of milton naked. For the record I weren't offended, it seemed fair comment! I dunno if there was any spastics reading the muppet shows forum at that point, it seems likely there was, but if they was offended at getting caught in the cross fire they never said nothing.

did you go to school with him too? Them were dark days!

You used them just now! I'm starting to thing egg is cracked. His memory is scrambled.

Word? Why am I not seeing any videos of the pompey massive doing Zumba or playing Fire Engines?

I don't mind people dressing up as long as they is Krazy and Zany and real "Characters" which tbh they invariably are.

Decisions, decisions! Which would you choose? Seriously they is gonna look a right bunch of f*cktards grown men dressed as santa playing Pass The Parcel

Dunno if you're being sarcastic or whatever but the first 2 series is probs my favourite british TV in last 5 years! I love the relationship between Steve and Becky it seems realistic to me in a way you don't ever see on tv. This new series 3 ain't so lols tho, I've been a little bit bummed bout it. I also love Dan! Everytime he comes on and starts routing through their stuff I start lolling. It's the way he stands or whatever. The dude who plays Steve is Genuine Gay btw. Does this surprise you? It surprised me! Good acting!

Jess Brody gets my Parent Of The Year award for (spoilersss) being like "No kids, you have to watch this TV broadcast of your dad confessing to doing a terrorist murder of 200 innocent people"

Missed opportunity in my opinion. It was a good idea to get "bellend" in a Christmas song but he should have took it further and made it more ambiguous if he is actually singing bout Christmas or bout his knob. The rest of the lyrics is unarguably Christmas which ruins the whole joke! I might rewrite the lyrics tho and get Ben Goddards to record cover version. We could release it as Saintsweb charity single!

She should get one of them hairless ones. Lot less bother.

So close! 69, always 69!

What number is I thinking of?

They offered him 4 year contract and he said no thanks homes I'd sooner get first team footballs at Blackpoop so they got compos. So I was reading today on football365 #mythbustings!