Bearsy

My opinion don't count for much no more since the mods downgraded me to Registered Offender, but I don't like it when I go out drinking with dudes from work and they turn up wearing oversized shirts untucked which hang out over their beer bellies so in profile they look like a bell. It's a common look up here in the Midlands! PS - Miss you tokyos! BFFF! I've been chatting with the paypal peoples and they reckon I'm all screwed up cos I changed banks and never told them! Bastards. I don't like being Registered, my postings lose much of their charm when not accompanied by my lovely happy face!

If I wanted to shoot someone in the head what I would do is spend 5 years researching the underground tunnel networks of London, then I would blow up M16 offices so they have to relocate MI6 to Churchill's old war bunkers, then I would get myself arrested so I could be taken to the war bunker, then I would escape from under armed guard so I can run through the tunnels and crash a tube train, then I would shoot my way across London and into a secure government courthouse where I know the person will be so I can try and shoot them in the head. That's what I would do. Lot of people would just sneak into their house in the night, but I wouldn't do that.

Lols if you're posting them on mumsnet or something send me a link so I can lol at their outrages!

Oh my days I'm having a terrible time! I logged on this morning eager to share my thoughts bout Rosie Webster's big boobs and computer is like Nu-uh you've posted 3 times already! And I'm like no I ain't even posted today and since when you been counting? Then I'm seeing my lovely face is missing and the dumb mods have made me a Registered Offender! Why is they doing this? Do you think I owe them money? Is there somewhere it says when you owe them money? How do you even pay them money if you want to pay them money, is there a buy mods curry button? Or do you think I'm ban? I tried to think bout what I done yesterday, I did post a picture of Miltonroader's knob, do you think it's that? You could hardly see it tho cos Milton has very small knob. Also I called Turkish a helmet on main board, but I don't think it's that if they was putting everyone who called Turkish a helmet on the Registered Offenders list there'd hardly be anyone left! Plus I was only jokes, I don't really think Turkish is helmet! Don't ask me any questions tho I dunno when I'm next gonna be able to answer. Also till further notice don't mug me off cos i won't be able to zing you back with any of my classic put downs! You can write me direct if need be: Bearsy c/o Saintsweb Prison for Registered Offenders

On the highlights you could hear someone in the crowd shouting "Noooo!" Was probably you!

On the record you helmet! Where do you think you are?

I've never worn one. I don't know anyone who does. I thought it was just something people do on tv.

Fair play. That is excellent.

Stop stalling! You think I had photos of Milton to be working with? Googles!

You think that's good you should see the picture Stains is gonna come back with in 19 minutes or less!

Maybe! I blame Microsoft Paint. Do me a photo of me and tokyos double teaming Hannah Minx on the centre circle of St Mary's. Clocks running.

What did you do today Bearsy? Oh I spent a whole hour making a photo of miltonroader naked. I'm wasting my life!

Shut up you mug. I think all gays are f*cking arseholes. Last edited by Turkish at 11:39am. Edited 57 times in total

Sorry to let you down Beltch! I'll try and clarify the issues you was raising! I've not read any of them books your citing above. We did read Pride and Prejudice at school tho, and that was basically the same. All books written to get Inner Goddesses wet is following the same plot. Stupid virgin meets rich man. Despite stupid virgins stupid virginity, rich man is unaccountably drawn to her. Stupid virgin gets boned by rich man. Anastasia was mostly saying "Oh my!". Christian was mostly saying, "Bend over." Sample text: CHRISTIAN: Bend over! ANASTASIA: Oh my! The reasons Christian was liking S&M is clouded in mystery. They is often hinted at, insofar as dude keeps saying he has dark secret but can't talk bout it. Anastasia made a big thing bout his mum being a crack whore till he was 4 years old, but I ain't seeing the connection. For all I know my mum was a crack whore when I was 4, it wouldn't make no difference to me now! You had me at more sex!

You was posting bout wearing dark trousers, your username is The Stain. A lot of people is signing up to Saintsweb specifically to talk to tokyos bout p!ssing themselves!

I actually blame the drip drips on my habit of lifting my pee-pee over the waistband of my pants, rather than using the fly. What happens is the waist band pushes against the base of my p!ss tube and causes a small reservoir of p!ss to build up, so when i tuck my knob back in the pressure is released and I'm experiencing a small second p!ss directly into my underpants. They should put warnings bout this on pant labels. Perhaps a short educational video.

Balls! I've only got one! Sales rep with the most full users gets to go to curry night! Feel me?

Ain't it that there is laws over there bout boning b!tches at Sterocvvntic concerts? It's the main reason I've never been to Dubai!

username + post I'm fed up with the little drip drips you sometimes get post p!ss when re-holstering snake in pants, so what I do is carry a little handkerchief in my trouser pocket to give it a little dab dab first. Sometimes, when a girl is sneezing or having a runny nose, I offer her my d!ck towel.

50 Shades of Grey: Chapter 26 Final chapter b!tches! Anastasia wakes up with a jolt cos she just dreamed bout falling down some stairs. B!tch makes out like she tripped but I shouldn't be at all surprised if someone pushed her. She feels rested. This surprises her! It wouldn't surprise me but then I quite often wake up rested. That's kind of why I go to sleep. Maybe it's different for her what with getting shoved down stairs the whole time. She can hear piano music from the next room so she goes to investigate. She finds Christian, "Shrouded in darkness, Christian sits in a bubble of light." This is one of them sentences I'm having to read several times. It don't seem to make no sense! She finds him playing the piano. B!tch is loving this! The music he is playing is beautiful and melancholy and whatever. When he finishes he pauses for a split second, then starts playing the same song again. I'm investigating he can play piano bout as much as I can! I can play "Any Old Iron" from start to finish with both hands and singing, and sometimes I do when there's a piano lying around or whatever, and b!tches is creaming themselves "Oh Bearsy I didn't know you could play piano!" and I smile enigmatically, and then they're like "Play something else!" and I'm stymied cos it's the only song I know. My granddad learned it me like a monkey, I don't really know what I'm doing. He asks what she's up to, and she says she's got to take her pill. You know, the one what kills her babies. "He raises his eyebrows in surprise. Well remembered, he murmurs, and I can tell he's impressed." It is a small kind of accomplishment I spose. They is then chatting bout the sex contract. It ain't all bout what stuff he's gonna put up her bum, a lot of it is about how she's got to behave. It's all perfectly reasonable stuff, like she has to do what he says, and eat what he says, and wear what he says and keep her vag hairs trim. She ain't so bothered bout this, she's more bothered bout getting punished when she fvvcks up. She's wondering how bad these punishments is gonna get, and he's like "I'll show you," and she's like "You'll have to catch me first!" They is then chasing around his apartment for a bit like retards at a Special School Disco. He catches her pretty easily (she's fat) and frog marches her into the rape room. He decides he's gonna whip her butt six times with a belt buckle. I dunno why six times. It seems an arbitrary figure. If EL James was any kind of writer she'd of made it 50. He lifts her dressing gown so she's bare butt, and he makes her count along. She's like "One!" scream ow whimper, "Two!" scream ow whimper cry and so on. By the time dude hits six she's proper crying and runs out the room rubbing her butt. He brings her an advil for her butt. An advil, it turns out, is not one of those iron things Wile E Coyote tried to drop on Roadrunner's head, it's the American word for Anadin. She is then saying she's fallen in love with him. No! says Christian clearly horrified. That's the actual word EL James uses, horrified. It's the last thing dude wants to hear, after all. Then she's saying but they can't be together no more. Every cloud etc. That's kind of how it ends. They ain't gonna see each other no more. At least till book two. There we have it, the story of too young lovers fated to be torn asunder. It's like Romeo & Juliet, except sh!t. FIN Bearsy's Conclusion On commencing these investigations, it was my aim to discover methods of making b!tches do what they don't want to do. I think it's fair to say I have uncovered the formula! What you have to remember is that every b!tch is made of three parts: 1) The First Person Consciousness. This is the bit that is walking around and talking. You don't need to worry too much bout her, she ain't in charge of anything. 2) The Subconscious. This is the nagging voice of her friends, her mum and magazine articles. She will be criticising on you the whole time in the background. Thing to watch for here is that the subconscious gets stronger as b!tch gets older and usually ends up taking complete control by the time b!tch hits 50. This is why sometimes older chicks can be so bitter and disagreeable. 3) The Inner Goddess. This is the part of the b!tch that is buying 50 Shades of Grey and thinking it a good book. It really speaks to the Inner Goddess. She is the little b!tch in every woman that deep down wants to get raped. It is the Inner Goddess you need to be working on! Here is the methods: a) Make the Inner Goddess think you is too good for her. You do this by sneering at her, and criticising her, and bossing her around, and putting her in situations where she is less comfortable than you. Flying your helicopter, for example. If not get her physically threatened by one of your mates, and then step in to 'save her'. If you do this, act like you're angry that you had to go to the trouble. She will be grateful, and guilty, and in your debt. b) Be making her friends fancy you. You should certainly be hitting on the friends and be nicer to them than you are to her. This makes the Inner Goddess desperate for your attention, and anxious to get you so she can lord it up over her mates. c) Don't be a little b!tch. This shouldn't need saying, but it's surprising how many dudes I see trying to score chicks by being nice to them, and begging on them, and complimenting their hair-do, and being sympathetic bout all their dumb concerns. You should think of the Inner Goddess as a badly behaved and ugly dog you're trying to train up. Never, under any circumstance be begging on your dog. Never ask for stuff, be ordering stuff! Thanks for reading homies! I hope these investigations is useful! If you is managing to apply these lessons, and get b!tches to do stuff that they know they shouldn't be doing, be sure to report back and let us all know! Wishing you all a merry rapemas and happy new anal. Bearsy

You is also having 50% fails! Personally I blame tokyos for the confusion. The criterias should just be minging or dead. Old is irrelevant. There is lots of old chicks I would bang, and lots of young chicks I wouldn't bang!

Disagree colins! Old and minging Or dead We'll let tokyos decide!

There is only two criteria homes

I'm gonna friend request him, poor thing