Bearsy

4 pints of fosters, 2 pints Strongbow, 1 gin&tonic, 3 dbl Jack+Coke, 10 Jaeger Bombs and an ambulance pls

I'm still not getting it! How would that even work? So she asks me if I want a drink, I attract the barman's attention, order my drink, asks what she wants, then he comes back and I give him the money- wait, I've gone wrong somewhere?

Gr8 news I have noticed Forster doing that Come off ur line, Four Star!

Yeah that was weird spending a week in the Techno forum trying to sell phones. Not even sell phones, he's been trying to sell the opportunity to buy a phone! He's like one of those skanks in Ibiza, trying to coral punters into dive bar. V.grubby.

Not sure I'm understanding you, is that typo? You mean girl approaches me in a bar and hangs around until I buy her a drink? Is that what you mean?

Dbl standards Goatboy. Girls can show cleavage and I'm not sposed to stare, but if I walk around with the tip of my penis showing, they not only look, but seem to think it's ok to comment on it!

We're definitely buying him IMO, he's played every game! I don't know we've reached consensus on here yet tho, our entire female fanbase rate him as World Class, but some other bros aren't convinced that he is quite as good as i.e. Ronaldo or Messi

Yeah if a woman asked you out, I'd assume the same

Hi, is that Ofcom? Yeah. I'm watching a show on Channel 4. And? I'm not enjoying it. It's not v.good. Ok. Thanks for letting us know.

I like to be the Hound rather than i.e. the Fox.

Pls try and Conform, Lou, you've been upsetting our beloved Stereotypes ever since you got here! Next you'll be trying to tell me that you don't know how many calories is in half a grapefruit! I'm not Having It!

Such lies, we only harass birds with excessive text messages if we haven't boned them yet.

JUDGE: Will the defendant please stand? Oh, sorry. Carry on

I Should Hope That They Don't! Edit: I mean Operation Yewtree

I've heard Dave Djuricic is close to being World Class

I recall an important lesson I learned from 50 Shades of Grey, that when bros go to work, or even just leave the room, we forget about our bird completely, whereas birds, when we're not there, are thinking about us, talking to their mates about us, agonising over some dumb thing we said, and wondering what time we're going to get home. This was in 50 Shades, so it is deffo a FACT!

I wouldn't be sending bro off for that, it was just a shove! Shoves happen all the time! I would have give him a yellow card for Handbags.

The familiar muppet show sound, like a swarm of bees, as a dozen trouser flies are simultaneously re-zipped, perverted desires thwarted once more. Question For Ladies: Why Is You Ring Me All Day When I'm At Work About Nothing Important Like How You Might Go To Leeds Next Month To Visit Ur Friend At University Or Simply To Ask Me What I Am Doing At Work And Tell Me What You Might Have For Lunch?

You keep forgetting to do ur thumbs up btw

Erm no can't you see picture? It's racist picture, I thought it was the sort of thing you would like and/or be offensed. It is win/win for me, either way

oh hi tokyos i saw this the other day & it made me think of you

Bastards 2 Games seems arbitrary, thought they'd either quash it, or, more likely, tell Jose to get f*cked

haha yeah i was just joking i didn't have blood either I learned how to do wank from my brother. I mean, he didn't help or anything, but I'd seen him do one. What happened was at Christmas or something, because of visitors, we had to share a room. We were separate beds, it wasn't gay. I woke up in the night and saw my brother doing a wank. He was sitting up, facing my direction, which looking back, is prob a bit weird. He is 2 years older than me. I saw the whole thing! All the stuff come out and everything! And the other thing that struck me as weird even then, and definitely does now, was the way that after he came he just laid back and went to sleep, and didn't mop up or wash his hands or anything. Dirty cunt. He doesn't like to talk about it tho, so don't mention it if you see him. When I raised the subject at Christmas dinner he just went all quiet, and his wife gave me a Funny Look. Only his children found it Funny

When you had ur first ever wank, gb, if you can remember that far back, was there blood? Genuine question, no trolls pls. Edit: Asking for friend

I meant West Ham fans Edit: Sorry, I'll leave this thread alone now for srs minded bros