rallyboy

The good news is that there will be a party, in the executive suites at Fratton - Lord T and I have been giving pompey a tenner a week for the last eight years and they've been looking after it for us. And don't be worried, it's ringfenced and can only be used for our party, so it's a really safe investment. I can't wait to sit down in the original chair that King John sat in to sign the Magna Carta, with all of you people gathered around Arthur's Round Table sat on chairs from HMS Victory, eating off the crockery used at the Final Supper - being careful not to spill anything on the famous table cloth, formerly the Shroud of Turin - it'll be great! I'll ring them later and see how much our investment is now worth...I've heard some amazing figures over the years, people converting £40 into £10,000 - though thinking about it, that might have been the other way around...

That game against Salisbury - was it a league match or has their FA Cup campaign started already?...

It sounds like the sole aim of the article was to be controversial, wind people up, and gather clicks for advertisers - so I haven't bothered to read it.

Was Diane Abbott on Southsea Common estimating the crowd size, or did she just work with Storrie on the High Court case figures?

You show me a police officer who believes they are getting the full support of government and I'll show you a nurse who feels overpaid.

Has the hero-villain-ometer recovered from the bashing it took with Cook? It's going to need a bloody good service before Jackett is plugged into it - the thing has been running in the red zone for a year. With US funding it might be a good time to update the Passionometer too, that has been getting heavy use since they got into the top three. I realise infrastructure is something that only happens elsewhere, but this new guy really needs to look at those two key pillars of his theme park Fatpipes World - stadiums through the ages, a living museum. And if he thinks it's a sleeping beauty, he's in for a shock.

As long as his shoulder is okay.

Are they going to make a decision on Jackett or just leave him hanging? They should collar him as soon as possible and tie him down before the fans get shirty. sorry.

I just hope he can cope with a big club with great history, after all, Wolverhampton Wanderers doesn't really prepare you for a job as big as this one.

I find it difficult to believe that pompey would fail to pay staff what they are owed...

So the Wigan of the South has been outbid by the real Wigan...

Some complex terms to negotiate first! We want this, we want that!!.....er no, this is what I'll give you.

He's not going, he's just trying to get a pay rise - but pompey is rudderless at the moment so no one can offer it.

Is Cook running around the remains of the ground with his finger to his lips or has the booing stopped?

You mean plan ahead, don't overpay on players, and keep outgoings lower than income? I can't see that catching on.

Benali's latest fundraiser is in The Echo - win a car, buy tickets online, big dinner at SMS. A worthy cause and a top bloke.

Vote Mickey Mouse or there won't be many more seasons...

The most disturbing part of this whole sorry episode is the revelation that Sue is driving around Leigh Park late at night.

Their wagebill is £5m. (Burton Albion paid £3.6m to get into the Championship.) Rather than fixing the stadium, pompey have clearly chosen to give the money to players, many of whom are earning twice the average for the division. A neutral observer might suggest that they are repeating the mistakes of the past...

Despite putting in place rules that mean the club cannot be sold without 75% approval, the Trust's diminished shareholding means that 51% will now suffice, if they team up with the property developing members of the board. That could mean 49% of fans finding themselves in disagreement with any decision. It could be a funny old summer - and that's without Eisner looking at the fine detail...

Let's cut to the chase here - the fan-owned fantasy is over, it has failed. They cannot finance the ground repairs as the figures don't stack up so it's the end of the road for the Trust. It was a nice try, never mind, bring on more property developers...

Hold on, let's just back up a bit.... £4m to patch up the stadium? - with their annual income at £6m....with no profit to use for this purpose. That's the equivalent of us needing to spend £100m just to keep SMS open. If that figure is correct then it's the pluckiest, most passionate, bestest fan-owned serious problem in sporting history. The sort of problem that sees your ground half-closed in the summer, the sort of problem that desperately needs an urgent resolution, the sort of problem that leaves you accepting any offer on the table just to keep you trading. If this is true about the costs then this takeover HAS to happen. The Trust cannot negotiate or demand anything, they will have to accept any deal - and they need to accept it ASAP. I see trouble ahead....

He wasn't kissing the badge, he was wiping excess moisturiser off his stubbly face.

Lighten up, it'll still be funny! They've been telling us for five years how they don't want to be involved in bigger games, they are happiest owning their own club with proper football in the lower divisions - the complete opposite to Mr Disney's plan. Then we'll have the discovery that the sheets of A4 were donations, the Trust will be split over the takeover, they'll try to retain power, all set against the backdrop of a midtable League One season of mediocre disappointment - it'll be hilarious. Meanwhile they'll be needing approx £10m to get into the Championship and £50m+ to sort out the ground. It'll be interesting to see the look on Mr Eisner's face when he gets into the detail of the current business - he needs very deep pockets linked to low expectations. Once again you look at the owner and wonder what is in it for him? The last time I asked that question the answer proved to be money laundering and a dodgy property development.

A new low? That would be an achievement.