rallyboy

Fortress! I love the tabloid use of language down there, it's about simplifying messages to the easily-led and trying to big up life in the bottom tier of league football. All the players have to be battling troops, anything over three quarters full is a sell out, any comment on the template from a new player is a pledge, all defeats are brave, a few quid has to be a promotion warchest, a donation is in fact a share, a percentage over 25% equals fan-owned, any request for anything is a rallying cry and anyone who has ever attended a game is the faithful. The club has now established a link with both Milan (the glorious draw) and Barcelona (the glorious home defeat by Bournemouth reserves), and if you put all of those pieces together you get an exciting piece on how great life is in Division Four. Template no.12 - new signing, forward. Premier League Ace Up For The Fight! New striker and lower league journeyman ----, fresh from watching a Premier League match on television, has issued a rallying cry to Paul Cook's battling troops and pledged to fire the goals that will lift pompey to the next level. The prolific hitman has also rather predictably praised the fans and asked them to back the team with a cauldron of noise. And with a sell-out crowd the home heroes will be looking for the Fratton faithful to create a siege mentality at the fortress this Saturday when ---- are the opponents. Boosted by recent back-to-back home defeats, the Blues will look to go one better against ---- who are plucky little minnows who should just give up the points because it's their cup final etc....blah, blah, battling, hunger, freedom to play, belief, desire, yawn... Simple messages spoon-fed to the simple.

Just listened to the Cook interview - he has no class. He complained that the interviewer was only asking negative questions, after a home defeat - and that he did the same at the previous home defeat. Perhaps he has been spoilt by the club's official PR agency The News and doesn't like the sound of reality. He is rattled and losing it.

Ding, ding! The Hero-Villainometer alarm is going. Whatever became of the man who only a matter of days ago gave them the greatest goal seen since the 1970 World Cup?

Anyone who saw amateurs attempting to make pottery on The Generation Game will know how pompey's grand future-shaping is going.

Those are the base figures but once you have put them through the passionometer and seasonally adjusted them, pompey are way above joint top.

I do hope pompey's deal with Sports Direct is better than the one that little Rangers were able to negotiate... A court has just heard that the Scottish minnows have been getting 4p in the pound for every shirt sale - and they have been paying Sports Direct for the retail outlets too! Rangers don't have the fanbase and they had financial problems and haven't existed for very long so they probably had to sign whatever. Whereas pompey are in a much better position to negotiate a good deal.

So just to clarify, we drew at Arsenal in front of 60,000 the same night that pompey drew at Morecambe in front of 1,399. They really are living the dream - even though the income from that fixture probably wasn't enough to pay for the players' bicycles, let alone a slap-up roadside squirrel supper on the way home. #jealous

I had this hilarious dream last night!!

I didn't realise that the keeper scored the 95th minute equaliser! That's funny on EVERY level.

Mad Billionaire. I'd like to buy the club. Trust. We want £30m. Mad Billionaire. Really? Trust. Yes, BUT we want to retain overall control, and have a veto on any big decisions, and have three people on the board, and we want guarantees from you about a new ground and investment! Hello......hello?....

oh but what about the wonder goal. The keeper hoofs it to Messi, he miscontrols it into the middle where the Bournemouth youth team stand about watching. Iniesta turns one way, then the other and before you can say where is the defence, he eventually gets the ball under control and fires it low past the despairing reserve keeper. Mesmerising stuff! In the same way that economy chicken nuggets are upmarket if you've been eating dog$hit for five years.

What's that I spy in the North Stand? Empty seats! Not a couple, and not a set to segregate fans, no, a good collection of unsold seats in the home section. I guess the joint leaders have now redefined the term sell-out. But as the local paper points out, Pompey’s day in the spotlight couldn’t have gone any better. Really?.... What an interesting way to look at it.

The spin for the easily led - spirited pompey were unlucky a cauldron of noise gave their opponents a bloody nose roared on by a sell out crowd Cook's battling troops put the club back on the map relived the glory days Championship floodlights on show intimidating atmosphere Fortress Fratton packed to the rafters Reality - lost at home to Boscombe reserves.

A really good effort, that Bournemouth reserve side are one of the best 2nd XIs in the world.

He's easily impressed.

Yeah we have a reputation for selling on the cheap, just ask Liverpool and United. The only transfer we'd make for that sort of money would be the Staplewood cat.

Go on Penny, off the top board, just one more time for us! Step back everyone, and get the sandbags out by your front doors....

Pretty much sums it up. The criminality surrounding the old club (with the history) was unmatched in the English game. This new little club did very well to leave all that stuff behind.

And never try to explain the difference between the holding company and the club, that is proper advanced.

Aaaah, the imaginary CVA. Next up, the SS tank driver myth, or perhaps the fantasy dock strike. But remember Nutjobs, it only needs to be spoken out loud in a Portsea pub and it's a fact!

Even by his standards, twelve days is a record for Harry Redknapp! 14th Jan - joins Wimborne board. Today - NEW chairperson Paula Henley has issued a "cry for help" to save Wimborne Town after due diligence uncovered debts of approximately £110,000. Henley revealed monthly losses of between £6,000 and £8,000.

I'd like referees to give a foul for ANY shirt pull. There is no reason for any player to grab another player's shirt unless it is to foul him. Corners have become comical.

It's usually best not to fall out with your own radio station.

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They still have to accept that a potential home win against little Bournemouth's reserves is already being touted as a giant-killing. Less of a local derby, more of a stark reminder that pompey have become irrelevant.