rallyboy

Really? I think there's probably more pressing matters.

Spoiler alert - I cannot see how our current strike force and approach can cause City any damage at all. Normally you'd think, if we raise our game, get lucky and grab the lead we might get something on fight alone - but with this team? We give the strikers zero service so City will just mop up the occasional misplaced pass and come straight back at us. The game will be played on the edge of our box, then it will be down to our plucky back ten putting their bodies on the line and battling for every ball...

Yeah, even as an oasis of excitement in a vast desert of toothless, sideways and pointless miserable irrelevance, I despise being exposed to quality football or individual brilliance live at SMS and certainly wouldn't acknowledge it.

For two paintings.

Yesterday's main event featured sycophantic TV commentators fawning over fringe royals and reading off their notes ridiculous facts about horses having the rank of Major in the British Army. What the fuck have we become?

corrected.

He's such a clueless clown I can't be arsed to address it all - everywhere you turn it's comedy gold.

Awake nonsense.

The Brexit vote didn't open our borders but has played a significant role in our inability to remove uninvited visitors. It's as if some voters didn't understand what they were voting for.

They should be ashamed.

Trump editing the UK, France, Russia, Canada, Anzacs etc out of his version of world war history just confirms that he is a moron and a cunt. Ditto the people who hang on his every word.

Indeed they have, and now that they have some power it will be interesting to see what they can achieve with their extensive raft of well-considered policies. They've done lots of talking, now we'll see what they're really made of.

Drive himself? Two basic rules of etiquette - Lord T should never have to draw his own bath, and if attending a social engagement away from the estate, should be driven by one of the footmen.

I'm sure those turkeys appreciate you saving the planet, though they might be sad that you seem to have targeted them. #itspersonal

Those who thought that Elton John was overreacting look pretty silly now.

We can smash the home defeats record and challenge the overall defeats. The slight frustration is that even if we don't get another point, we won't even manage to win the shittest team ever award - like a non-competitive sports day at a crap school, we'll have to share it forever, Saints and Derby in a shambolic suicide pact, so crap they couldn't even decide it between them. And that would sum up this excuse for a season - not even committed enough to claim outright the one big award we really deserve. But if we're looking for terrible team performances this season, I can think of half a dozen Ref and VAR combos who will take awards.

As for e-scooters....they have the vibe of accidents looking for a place to happen.

I've seen fucking idiots walking their dogs up cycle lanes, I've seen suicidal cyclists jumping lights, and I've seen motorists nearly hitting cyclists because they can't drive properly - the world is full of fuckwits of all flavours. Everyone needs to share space sensibly and stop thinking they personally own all of it.

People who refuse to share any space.

Baths that are too small. And don't come at me with one of those glorified-washing-up bowl, two-star-hotel, half-bath abominations - ridiculous.

I hear the sound of dropped batons bouncing on the floor...

Sounds to me like no more hot food, no more hot drinks, no more cutlery - ever again. Next.

New equipment in the women's area?... The operation must have a more medical name than that.

Staggered by that interview. Wholehearted commitment? No lack of effort? Sorry mate, I know you've been dropped right in it and you have to say something positive but you were clearly at a different fucking match.

Shocking and lazy display by some plus a terrible ref who gave the most bizarre fouls. What a waste of a perfectly pleasant day.