rallyboy

I'm pleasantly surprised that they've extended their stay in the basement, that was no mean feat with their budget - the quality of opposition is very poor and it shouldn't require the next Mourinho to get them out of there. The problem with their eventual but inevitable promotion is that every skate who has been hilariously low-key for three years will suddenly flood out of the woodwork giving it large about how they have seen off Fleetwood, Morecambe, Trumpton and Greendale. Then they just need to find about another £50m to make real progress. That's gonna be a hell of a whip round - possibly the greatestest community-driven whip round that world sport has ever witnessed...

Strange how ourselves, Spurs and Liverpool have all run out of steam - we certainly don't have a monopoly on disappointment. Squad depth? Fatigue? Or just a fear of the Europa League? It certainly looks like the 5th place that nobody wants.

They live in Leicester, you were walking away from it - I think I can see who had the last laugh.

Gregory did manage to get Crawley out of League One at his first attempt, perhaps he could repeat the feat for pompey in League Two.

If you'd asked her last week when she needed the votes it would have been a big yes. She doesn't have to be nice to any of them for a few years now.

The gap between what was predicted and what happened suggests that a lot of voters made a late decision and eventually stuck with what they perceive to be a safe option with the current stable economy. I hope that Mr Cameron takes that as a warning from the electorate that they made him sweat a bit, rather than reading the results as a massive vote of confidence and an encouragement to impose draconian measures or to further dismantle some key services. He also has the problem now of the odd mad backbencher having the power to scupper votes. Interesting times ahead.

I think it was paid by fans. While that act was worthy, many thought this would distract anyone from asking how on earth their football club could steal from dying children. It didn't. Despite financing a brothel, stealing from pensioners, running on money earned from maiming children, laundering drug cash for organised crime and bankrupting local businesses, the charity theft was possibly a low point. Though identifying a low point for pompey is like asking someone to name their favourite child molester.

A few years back I had my face stitched, which smarted a bit, and as the blood was running down the back of my neck I decided that I wouldn't want anyone armed with needles or scalpels anywhere near more sensitive areas. I made a mental note that in future, if I was offered the choice between having my face or my scrotum collide with anything, it would be my face every time. So fair play to those brave enough to sign up for genital vandalism in a worthy cause - and congratulations to everyone on here for mainly offering sensible advice!

Antonov's issues suggest that pompey may have been funded by stolen cash and money-laundering for a while, the sort of offences that would get you chucked out of the league, rather than let off from a post-relegation points deduction... Thankfully the only connection between that company and the current one is the magic element that survives all efforts to create distance from the criminality - the cup win. Oh, and the offices. And the trading name. And the FL Golden Share. So the old question - what's it gonna be - deny the cup win, or claim it along with the financial irregularities and criminality that accompanied it?

It could be possible - there must be a few fans who on a matchday fill the car up, have a pub lunch, buy a programme, a burger, an AH-64 Apache attack helicopter and a Bugatti Veyron...

Part of the official presentation to get planning was that the club brings £300m a year into the city. Penny even repeated that with a straight face, so some simpletons now think it's a fact. In comedy terms it's up there with the set of accounts they presented to the high court, the £20m that the council/Tesco would pay them for their car park, and Storrie's infamous valuation of the squad. portsmythmatics

As I camped outside the hospital for ten days in my homemade Union Jack suit, clutching my latest Royal scrapbook, holding the present that I'd painstakingly made for strangers, it suddenly dawned on me that I really needed to be sectioned rather than on TV giving my views. Talking of all the lovely gifts, why is there a really big bonfire burning day and night behind Kensington Palace?

Yellow card for Defoe, petulant kick from behind after he's lost the ball. No one likes blaming refs when our main problem is that we can't score, but it's been clear for weeks now that Kevin Friend's appalling display at SMS when he was playing for Liverpool will damage our season. Swings and roundabouts? No, just inconsistent refereeing that rarely balances out.

The most important thing is that if you and your family are healthy, nothing else matters. Football, medals, money, cars, houses - none of it is as valuable as your health.

Indeed - it's themed.

Awford says that at present, the right infrastructure is not in place to sustain those ambitions. "The training ground for instance, it's great that we've got it, but it's not fit for purpose," he said. "I'm frightened to death that the team is going to get somewhere, but the rest of the football club is not going to be able to sustain it. That from someone who has witnessed everything from inside the club. Time for the faithfullest to ask some questions.

Citizen Kane, spitting out random thoughts that make John Westwood look like a normal human being. Perhaps the sister-bothering, bike-stealing, heather-peddling, cross-eyed, toothless, face-tatted, comma-avoiding, glue-sniffing, Primark-blinged, fact-dodging, illiterate, easily-led simpleton Kane should ask one of his prison warders to read him a league table, just to cheer him up. I do hope he never qualifies to vote, though hopefully that whole, go to the Polling Station, collect a bit of paper and write on it bit might be too complex a system to master.

As we are making up percentages can I just confirm that we are lagging well behind in one department. From the main board I recognise that 10% of our support is formed of deluded kneejerk drama queen fantasists, a pretty standard figure across the leagues, while pompey are world beaters with a staggering 85% of fans who will not only gleefully gulp down any lukewarm diarrhea spoon-fed to them by the club and local paper, but they passionately believe that ANY delusional thought that crosses their mind, instantly becomes a fact. This allows them to flip heroes into villains, and to skillfully weave myths from the smallest shred of pub gossip. Only Spurs fans can compete on delusion, with their famous belief that they are a big club, but even they are well down at 25%. pompey lead the world.

CR is correct, you are within two metres of an idiot in every football ground in the world. And occasionally it might even be yourself. The clever bit of stupidity is not to vocalise it. With the internet, disguising it has become a lost art.

Wallace would suit Rodgers - he looks like the sort of player that doesn't want to win a game TOO much, a vital ingredient at the top of the sport. And where Liverpool play.

Has Rodgers spotted that 4th has gone and is now launching a desperate charge back down the table in an effort to escape the Europa League? It might not suit him but we'll have a crack at it for a bit.

They become villains. Talking of that, nice to see Matty Taylor doing his best to relegate another club. We have a vital penalty, tell you what, let's get a bloke who hasn't scored one for five years to take it! And I also saw Jamie O'Hara looking like a fridge freezer squeezed into a shirt playing for someone irrelevant the other week. His career is on fire. #pompeyheroes

Only just seen the tv coverage...Hit him on the arm? He pulled his arms in and it looks like it hit him right on his clenched fist, the only way he could generate that power! Call me a cynic but when a professional footballer has a ball hit him on the fist and go in, my first thought isn't accidental. As for Kelvin, he isn't Forster so we should look to replace him with a safe pair of hands like Guzan, Krul, Begovic, Federici or even Hart etc.

Anyone know what time the battling band of plucky heroes are being officially welcomed back from Mansfield? I need to go along the M27 tomorrow and I don't want to get stuck in the carnival like I did after they took a point off Cheltenham - I got caught up behind the open top bus and it took hours - it was like Notting Hill meets Rio, but better. Obviously.

I think they were somewhere around the 48% mark?...I'm guessing that a further £150k could kick a 5% hole in that? Statisticians feel free to correct those figures. It does beg the question why a debt-free and fully solvent business that is on a stable financial footing requires outside funding.... Or does the club board not actually care about the Trust percentage and just likes the idea of someone else stumping up cash on a risky managerial appointment? Either way, a bit odd to mention HNW individuals chipping in.