rallyboy

No, he gave them the elbow.

This new signing Barton is a bit of a maverick, he's a loose cannon, he's already gone off template. No massive club, no reference to fans, no mention of the fence around the training ground or even the most recognisable sporting arena entrance in the world. He might struggle to fit in unless he gets with the programme. Though I see he has the standard two year deal and was lured not by money, but by the opportunity.

You need to be able to stand in the middle of the goal, on the line looking at the penalty spot, and be able to see both posts without moving either eye - and you need to have at least twice as many digits as teeth, even after they have been downgraded from CVA1. A knowledge of jockey wheels, horse brass, homemade tats and lucky heather also helps, while a penchant for being easily-led into believing any old sh1t you are fed via short paragraphs would assist. Somewhat.

Without wanting to sound too happy-clappy, the club must be really looking after these young players if their heads are not turned by more glamorous offers, and the youngsters themselves appear slightly wiser when it comes to career-planning than one or two of our more experienced current and former players. Top marks all round.* *As long as nothing changes between now and Feb.

Interesting to note that Italy also says just clear your football debts and everyone else can do one. Is this rolled down from FIFA? It's one of the less savoury aspects of financial debacles when every other business/charity and even the taxman are all shunted to the back of the queue behind the players, who have often contributed much to the club's demise. I can understand that other clubs shouldn't suffer, you'd think there might be enough money sloshing about for a fund that would cover that rare eventuality. Or has it all been spent on Jack Warner's moat?

I see that 33% asked for longer paragraphs while the other 72% requested clarification of the figures.

The great pompey survey....the thoughts and wishes of the most passionate 461 fans in world sport.

and another tip, never post while you are on the phone, it messes with your Maths!

They have nothing to do with what went on at that time, it was a completely different business, and it's not like they gained anything from two administrations. I think it would be unfair to punish them, they were punished twice for one offence before, and that wasn't even an offence, the money was just resting in their account. The nasty Football League need to stop picking on the only one-year-old club that boasts a very selective history that spans 123 years.

no win, no fee - isn't that the pompey motto regarding their league form and transfer policy?

Suggs will never get paid. Welcome to the house of fat...

That's 23 home games plus a lot of fuel and sandwiches purchased by the massive hordes that make up the massed and plucky ranks of the faithful blue army that empties the city every other week.

You see 46 cup finals, everyone else sees 46 opportunities to bring £13million into the city. 30/4/16 Mind the gap day Southampton v Manchester City Hartlepool v Portsmouth

It's the only derby this generation of pompey fans will ever see.

The draw? I thought they'd fallen so far that they were already playing preliminary rounds of the cups, doesn't the season just continue straight through into the next for the plucky little minnow clubs?

A comedy back four for for 84 minutes, and so many players who would struggle against proper opposition. Yes I enjoyed our goals but anyone who thinks we are going anywhere on current form is deluding themselves.

It will be a completely new system, from the point the electric supply enters the stadium to the point where the lights are shining. They've latched onto someone's meter next door! So the Tesco money that was going to extend the ground for all of those pack-the-park moments is actually being used to meet safety requirements by taking out seats, thus reducing capacity.... The plucky little minnow is getting a bit smaller. But they still have running fat.

Indeed, the loss of anyone who is passionate about football is a blow to the sport and transcends rivalry. It's only a game.

I'd pay not to watch that.

How wide is this slide? It had better be a dual carriageway. And no I don't want a go on the bouncy castle.

Why is Grealish allowed to ignore the shinpad rules? He wears little girls' Barbie ankle pads.

I didn't bother to retain the names but I did hear the guy from Southampton City Council absolutely own the bloke from pompey on the radio this week. pompey councillor. Our city is much better, blah, blah, blah... Interviewer. What does Southampton have that pompey doesn't? Soton councillor. Nineteen Premier League matches a season....

That is funny! Southampton City Council have to accept that when it comes to going downhill fast the league table shows that the bestest are also the slidiest.

I think he went there in mid-april and asked Phil if he knew any golf-related stories - he's halfway through the first one at the moment...

For sale, 3,000 litres of red paint, impulse purchase....buyer collects.