rallyboy

Antonov's issues suggest that pompey may have been funded by stolen cash and money-laundering for a while, the sort of offences that would get you chucked out of the league, rather than let off from a post-relegation points deduction... Thankfully the only connection between that company and the current one is the magic element that survives all efforts to create distance from the criminality - the cup win. Oh, and the offices. And the trading name. And the FL Golden Share. So the old question - what's it gonna be - deny the cup win, or claim it along with the financial irregularities and criminality that accompanied it?

It could be possible - there must be a few fans who on a matchday fill the car up, have a pub lunch, buy a programme, a burger, an AH-64 Apache attack helicopter and a Bugatti Veyron...

Part of the official presentation to get planning was that the club brings £300m a year into the city. Penny even repeated that with a straight face, so some simpletons now think it's a fact. In comedy terms it's up there with the set of accounts they presented to the high court, the £20m that the council/Tesco would pay them for their car park, and Storrie's infamous valuation of the squad. portsmythmatics

As I camped outside the hospital for ten days in my homemade Union Jack suit, clutching my latest Royal scrapbook, holding the present that I'd painstakingly made for strangers, it suddenly dawned on me that I really needed to be sectioned rather than on TV giving my views. Talking of all the lovely gifts, why is there a really big bonfire burning day and night behind Kensington Palace?

Yellow card for Defoe, petulant kick from behind after he's lost the ball. No one likes blaming refs when our main problem is that we can't score, but it's been clear for weeks now that Kevin Friend's appalling display at SMS when he was playing for Liverpool will damage our season. Swings and roundabouts? No, just inconsistent refereeing that rarely balances out.

The most important thing is that if you and your family are healthy, nothing else matters. Football, medals, money, cars, houses - none of it is as valuable as your health.

Indeed - it's themed.

Awford says that at present, the right infrastructure is not in place to sustain those ambitions. "The training ground for instance, it's great that we've got it, but it's not fit for purpose," he said. "I'm frightened to death that the team is going to get somewhere, but the rest of the football club is not going to be able to sustain it. That from someone who has witnessed everything from inside the club. Time for the faithfullest to ask some questions.

Citizen Kane, spitting out random thoughts that make John Westwood look like a normal human being. Perhaps the sister-bothering, bike-stealing, heather-peddling, cross-eyed, toothless, face-tatted, comma-avoiding, glue-sniffing, Primark-blinged, fact-dodging, illiterate, easily-led simpleton Kane should ask one of his prison warders to read him a league table, just to cheer him up. I do hope he never qualifies to vote, though hopefully that whole, go to the Polling Station, collect a bit of paper and write on it bit might be too complex a system to master.

As we are making up percentages can I just confirm that we are lagging well behind in one department. From the main board I recognise that 10% of our support is formed of deluded kneejerk drama queen fantasists, a pretty standard figure across the leagues, while pompey are world beaters with a staggering 85% of fans who will not only gleefully gulp down any lukewarm diarrhea spoon-fed to them by the club and local paper, but they passionately believe that ANY delusional thought that crosses their mind, instantly becomes a fact. This allows them to flip heroes into villains, and to skillfully weave myths from the smallest shred of pub gossip. Only Spurs fans can compete on delusion, with their famous belief that they are a big club, but even they are well down at 25%. pompey lead the world.

CR is correct, you are within two metres of an idiot in every football ground in the world. And occasionally it might even be yourself. The clever bit of stupidity is not to vocalise it. With the internet, disguising it has become a lost art.

Wallace would suit Rodgers - he looks like the sort of player that doesn't want to win a game TOO much, a vital ingredient at the top of the sport. And where Liverpool play.

Has Rodgers spotted that 4th has gone and is now launching a desperate charge back down the table in an effort to escape the Europa League? It might not suit him but we'll have a crack at it for a bit.

They become villains. Talking of that, nice to see Matty Taylor doing his best to relegate another club. We have a vital penalty, tell you what, let's get a bloke who hasn't scored one for five years to take it! And I also saw Jamie O'Hara looking like a fridge freezer squeezed into a shirt playing for someone irrelevant the other week. His career is on fire. #pompeyheroes

Only just seen the tv coverage...Hit him on the arm? He pulled his arms in and it looks like it hit him right on his clenched fist, the only way he could generate that power! Call me a cynic but when a professional footballer has a ball hit him on the fist and go in, my first thought isn't accidental. As for Kelvin, he isn't Forster so we should look to replace him with a safe pair of hands like Guzan, Krul, Begovic, Federici or even Hart etc.

Anyone know what time the battling band of plucky heroes are being officially welcomed back from Mansfield? I need to go along the M27 tomorrow and I don't want to get stuck in the carnival like I did after they took a point off Cheltenham - I got caught up behind the open top bus and it took hours - it was like Notting Hill meets Rio, but better. Obviously.

I think they were somewhere around the 48% mark?...I'm guessing that a further £150k could kick a 5% hole in that? Statisticians feel free to correct those figures. It does beg the question why a debt-free and fully solvent business that is on a stable financial footing requires outside funding.... Or does the club board not actually care about the Trust percentage and just likes the idea of someone else stumping up cash on a risky managerial appointment? Either way, a bit odd to mention HNW individuals chipping in.

They can only dream of being 34th in the country! Lord T, you insult home cine movies... I love the way that excuse for a film just fizzles out with muttered responses and a windy and resigned dissolve to black. It just committed cinematic suicide, no note, nothing. But we learn that they've built a commercial team that would rival any, in any of the leagues??....Really? Like that academy that was the envy of many Premier League clubs no doubt. Let's just check out that claim.... Man Utd's kit and shirt sponsor deals - £122m a season. Man City's Etihad deal - £80m a season. pompey's jobsite deal - a tin of paint. It's those sort of insane delusions of grandeur that remind us that they are so out of touch that they have no clue what is happening at the top of the game, or even just higher up the league at bigger clubs like Stevenage, Newport and Morecambe. With that sort of talk pompey has become an irrelevant dinosaur - a little one, a minnowsaurus. They think that any of their players who can control a ball in less than four touches is a future international, whenever they take more than 300 anywhere they think they're more passionate than anyone else, a manager who wins three on the bounce is a potential England boss and if they sell 100 raffle tickets they think they are effing Camelot.

One or two getting very excited that it was ten years ago today that we lost 4-1 at Fatpipes. I don't think I'd swap a handful of days out for a lifetime of superiority. WTFILN - and for the next generation.

I think it unlikely that they will overspend.

You passed on four.....Liam Lawrence was the former ticket office manager who gave up his wages and was still booed, the ex-Saint who earned £4,500 a minute to sit on the bench was Antti Niemi, the first Barbie was launched in 1959, and the new offence invented by the club in 2010 was to agree a CVA to dodge a penalty, but with no intention of honouring it, instead diverting the season ticket money to be used to pay for the prossie-bothering hero manager to be driven to an industrial estate whorehouse for soul-destroying quickies behind a car lot....John, you have scored zero points, in every way.

I think perhaps West Ham are only as generous as someone who needs to tempt in an additional 20,000 fans.

Realistic Expectations - wasn't that an upbeat sequel that was written in pompey? There has always been the silent 10%, but they are no fun, it's the gobby 90% that I want to hear more from, with all of their madcap increase the player budget, pay a Premier League manager, redevelop the ground ideas. There's no comedy in business-like restructuring and keeping to a budget - we want another Harbourdome, with an underwater Mr Clive - or at least talk of a raid on Barcelona in the transfer window. Shouldn't have to wait long, there's always a deluded toy salesman around the next corner. A comment that will mean nothing to thread newcomers! Maybe we need to issue a set of notes to accompany this thing...

I know a non-league club that has just spent £25K on ordinary floodlights - god knows how much repairs to full size ones from the 1950s will cost pompey! And did they seriously think that the Tesco money was going to finance anything other than some ground repairs? I don't recall it being labelled as a redevelopment fund... Clowns.

I think they've failed to get out of possibly the worst quality League Two in living memory. That's going to be a hell of a summer spending spree to rally the plucky troops etc. It's time for McInnes to throw off the shackles, spend big and risk the lot.....a risk most fans would support, as they did the last three times they risked the lot. I expect to see an old-style, non-transparent, overpaying pompey battling for top honours in a crumbling ground next season, and worrying about the cost later.