Verbal

It's quite simple really. If the MOD could find anyone on the ground who had a clue they'd be rushed in front of the cameras in no time. The reason? To counteract the corrosive PR effect of an endless procession of returning soldiers complaining about not understanding why they're there. The modus operandum of the MOD press office in these matters was well illustrated with its reaction to the death of Andrew Fentiman, who'd blogged about the lack of up-to-date body armour. A uniform was wheeled out double-quick to say that the new armour probably wouldn't have saved him.

And what is 'the job' exactly? Too many of the troops on the ground have little or no idea what that is - unless it's to offer themselves up as target practice for the Taliban. The Taliban - essentially militant Pashtun clansmen - will never be defeated by conventional armies, as centuries of military history in the region have brutally illustrated. Sadly, there's even a case for arguing that the presence of Western troops in Afghanistan actually prolongs the war and the growing list of casualties among troops and civilians. Which is I think the corporal's point, regardless of the merits of his actions.

'Dune', you make no sense at all. And I think I might trust a few people with actual scientific credentials a bit more than this myopic twaddle.

That's just stadium envy.

St George: Can you tell me why the 'Oregon Institute of Science and Medicine', upon which you heavily rely, seems rather more interested in survivalism - specifically preparing for nuclear annihilation and 'homeland defense' against war and terrorism?

Can you please tell me what John Daly's qualifications are? All I know, from a brief google search is that he's a Tasmanian school teacher who's dead (presumably from heat exhaustion).

And close that damned Southampton University now. How dare it be one of the better British unis. Hoq dare it and Solent make such a huge contribution to the local economy.

January (not sure of the actual date) 1970. Spurs 0 Southampton 1 (Davies, of course). Also my first glimpse of hooliganism, on the terraces directly below me - a few Spurs fans fighting each other at the final whistle.

On the usually reliable principle that a leopard doesn't change its spots, I'm sticking with the idea that Oldknow has acted in much the same way that made him so deeply unpopular the first time around. BTW, why are we talking about 19C's compulsive but wildly irrelevant obsession on a thread about Oldknow?

It'll be a short drive over from where I'll be that day - but do you know of any parking? Don't mind the walk as long as the car is safe.

Good grief. Have NONE of you seen or heard the theme to The Prisoner? Unbeatable.

There's a wonderful irony in the Football League's position that it can't act against Briatore yet because he is appealing the FIA's decision in the French High Court. That would be the very same kind of appeal that we should have had, if we'd wanted it. If the notoriously dictatorial FIA can accept that it is still subject to legal constraints, why couldn't the FL? What really ******es off a number of fans - in my opinion, DD! - was not that the penalty was right or wrong, but that the FL felt it had the leverage in our case to deny us the right of appeal that natural justice demands. The FL decided that it could not only make the decision, based on what it admitted at the time was an 'interpretation' of the rules, but that it could decide, unilaterally, that it did not have to defend or justify that decision in any way. It made itself, literally, above the law. And it did this by holding the club over a barrel about participation in the FL this season. That was outrageous - but typical of Mawhinney. When Bernie moves over, the FIA have a natural successor.

So it's my 'opinion' that Bates isn't the owner of Leeds United? That Briatore is in breach of the FL's rules about being banned from another sport? That Notts Co's ownership is concealed behind Qadbak, an offshore company - and this somehow passes the 'fit and proper test'? Again, why simply ignore what I wrote? And by the way, I made no comment on whether the penalty was deserved or not. I was making the case for Mawhinney being the same old manipulative schemer he was when he was a politician. If rules are rules, they should be applied consistently. He has signally failed to that.

So you're just ignoring the points I've made then?

But he still had to widen the scope of the rules to make it stick - and insist on denying Southampton the right of appeal. Hardly natural justice, is it? And if something is 'deserved', then surely that implies that Mawhinney be consistent. In which case, Bates would not still be at Leeds (for 'misremembering' that he's not actually the owner, despite claiming he was); Briatore would not still be at QPR (it seems an open-and-shut case under the FL's own rules that he should be banned from part-ownership of a FL club); and Notts County wouldn't still be getting away with the claim that their ownership is transparent, when in fact it's lost in a fog of tax-haven companies whose personnel were photographed last week doing deals in North Korea.) Mawhinney has been a disaster. Good riddance.

Quite.

A tricky problem for physics, Mr Smirk, until someone came up with this reasoning. If time traveller came back from the future to alter an event in some way, everything from that moment on would split off into a universe of its own. That universe alone - not ours - would include the altered event. Which is why, incidentally, we haven't met anyone from the future. Read Michio Kaku on parallel universes for the best explanation - but it's all down to the paradoxes of the quantum world we live in (or not)... Question is: is it possible to traverse these parallel universes in some way? That may be an explanation for the repeated failures at LHC. Confused? you will be.

Is he from the eleventh dimension?

At goalkeeping?

'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life'. This should be our national anthem. 'Life's a piece of sh!t When you look at it...' Always brings a tear to my eyes.

It was Leeds United away in my flash-forward. So you can take that as gospel.

No, he's definitely British - but left for New Orleans knowing that it would never suffer from anything remotely connected with climate change. And if it did, his mate George W would sort everything out.

Can we get back on topic please? We've reached the 'STFU' phase and I need to know the outcome.

Are you PFC's accountant?

I've been there too - while the LHC was under construction. While I was down in one of the caverns the Spanish constructors managed to tip over a three-storey crane. Someone or something really doesn't want that thing to fire up!