To the tune of 'The animals went in two by two':
He's half a boy, he's half a girl
Torres, Torres,
He looks just like a transvestite,
Torres, Torres,
He wears a frock, he loves the co*k,
he sells his ass on Albert dock
Fernando Torres,
Carraghers bit on the side.
His armband proved he was a red,
Torres, Torres,
We f****d him off and signed Tevez,
Torres, Torres,
Now he's playing for the Scouse,
The fans are gonna rob his house,
Fernando Torres, Liverpool's number 9.