Master Bates

Good move! SKY Sports legend Jeff Stelling is set to become the new host of hit telly quiz Countdown. The sharp-witted Soccer Saturday frontman will replace retiring presenter Des O’Connor. Stelling, who has become a cult hero on Sky’s six-hour footie results service, was linked with Countdown in 2005 after the death of legendary host Richard Whiteley. http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/article1804555.ece

Bought some baby oil to stop it sticking to the frying pan.

What's the difference between a hand job and the World Trade Center? With a hand job it usually collapses with less than 3000 yanks.

I don't know.

Um, my Saints dog bowl because I have a King Charles Cavalier and now her ears go into the bowl and food gets on her fur and makes it knotted.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chimaera 33ft

Sunfish or "Mola Mola" Giant Jellyfish or "Nomura's Jellyfish"

Emma Place, 21, took this eerie photo on her phone at Hull’s £53million attraction The Deep. She said: “It’s spooky.” One boss at the aquarium, once a hospital isolation ward, said: “There’ll be a logical explanation. We just can’t find it.” http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1804838.ece

I'm capable of much worse, I still reckon i'll make front page at some point in my life :smt074

In case i'm not on, Happy 21st for tomorrow.

+1.

She isn't wearing a towel! Does she have soap on a rope?

I er got "7 year old girl who masterbates at school".

Cool

Ah yes, you were gonna type 'Gorgeous George' weren't you but got all mixed up.....

She's had a snatch lift so it looks fine again.

Why the 'T' at the end of in?

Well shoot me down with a scag head, you may be on to something.

This one doesn't need sound (video below after clicking link) http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/usa/article1801563.ece

I have no idea what one is on about madam, or should that be vagabond.

BTF in copy & paste from Wikipedia shocker

Dubai Phil will be with you soon. Also seek out Ericofarabia.

Who said they're common? And it's "can't" not "cant"