Lighthouse

We’re doing fine, there’s nothing to get upset about yet.

He will do neither. Most likely it’ll be a West Ham, Leicester, Villa or Everton level club with possibly a moderate pay rise.

The Spy who asked for my Explicit Consent.

They’ll be delighted to see us go down, three wins here in eleven league visits since our promotion.

WTF?! He plays for Spurs and why are you obsessing over clean sheets, as opposed to actual goals conceded? Your metric could be used to prove that a 0-9 and a 0-0 were better than the 2-1 against Chelsea and 1-1 against Arsenal. Forster is not an improvement, just another name in the sorry list of substandard ‘keepers we’ve had since promotion.

So Forster conceded 1.8 goals per game, Baz concedes 1.7.

Last year Forster played in the 3-0 loss at Brentford, the 0-6 against Chelsea, 1-4 against Man City, 0-2 against Burnley and 1-2 at home to Watford. We weren’t better with him in the team.

If Forster had been in goal, he would still be diving for Firpo’s shot right now. He’s actually a pretty good metaphor for Saints in that he will go down eventually, it just takes seven years.

It’s really tricky trying to park anywhere near the Saudi embassy on a Monday morning.

Because no manager who’s worth anything would agree to Jack in a decent, stable wage in the Championship for a high risk, one year deal.

The lunatics on Gumtree, I’ve literally had the exact same exchange with five people this week: "Hello, is this still available?" "Hi, yes it’s available." Never hear from them again. I’m sorry, I didn’t realise that was a pub quiz question, I thought you wanted to buy it.

I'm no goalkeeping coach, so I could be completely wrong on this, but I'd say if he was stood centrally near that purple line, it'd just have been a Kelvin-esq tap in, low at the near post. The fact is that I'd expect 95% of Premier League players to score from 8 yards out (the 5% being our players) and I would consider it extremely poor finishing not to find a space around the 'keeper from such close range. I think Adams and AA's inability to do it has lowered our collective expectation of finishing prowess.

I wish some ‘c**t’ could get us up to 18th, a point from safety and averaging one point per game.

Apart from the fact that the LB has scored more goals than five of the front six, combined?

People said that about West Ham in 2011, they came third. Those two have far more high earners, with bigger egos, who won’t fancy a pay cut in the Championship. The best placed teams are usually the likes of Norwich, Fulham and (until recently) West Brom, who are geared for being around promotion and relegation battles.

If we could maybe start fighting that'd be nice. We are going down and Bournemouth will most likely join us. I'd like Everton to come down too and I don't think they'd be as nailed on for promotion as you might think. They'll need a huge clear out and have zero experience in that league, unlike most of the other candidates. If I was a betting man though; Forest.

Part of what I found bewildering about him was that he was willing to acquire a huge squad (we were up to squad number 40 with McQuashie I think) but he wouldn’t sign anyone decent for a larger fee. He was happy to spend £6m collectively on Jakobsson, Nilsson, Yahia and JvD but not on one decent CB we badly needed.

Straight out of the ‘turn away from the shot and make yourself as narrow as possible’ Bednarek playbook. If you’re going to stand a yard in front of the keeper blocking his view, at least have the decency to throw yourself in front of something. He looks like he’s trying to let a guy in a wheelchair get past him in a narrow corridor, not defend a corner.

Yep, today is the anniversary of a 2-0 Friday night win over Norwich at St Mary’s. Since then we’ve only beaten Arsenal and Chelsea at home in the league.

Yes. Yes he was.

Easy to say but somewhat reliant on another club being willing to buy him and having the money and recruitment to find someone better.

They weren’t though, even if the transfer and loan fees were low their wages would all have been towards the top of our pay scale. Leno is supposedly on £90k, Henderson over £100k. We got Baz because he was cheap. We’re still shopping in the £10-15m category which bought decent players in 2014, that’s why we’re going down.

He’s useless and if Walcott, Tella, Aribo, Redmond and Djenepo hadn’t ALL contrived to be sh*te, whilst Stu has been continually unfit, he wouldn’t be anywhere near a Premier League team.

Meh. Going through the motions now, Selles is just a caretaker before we reassess in summer. I hope the agents of all these players have got them convinced that they’re too good for Southampton, so that they all f**k off in summer. The sadistic part of me would love to see Bednarek, Bazunu, Moi, Adams and co. Inflicted on someone like West Ham or Villa.

My anniversary with an ex. Was 9/11 and she was 3 minutes away from being a leap year baby, which made her birthday easy to remember too. Another ex. Had the same birthday as Hitler, she didn’t appreciate me singing, "happy birthday dear Adolf…" to her.