Lighthouse

Wrexham gaining four points on one team is a far, far more likely scenario than Saints gaining seven points on three different teams. The whole Saints finishing second dream was basically a nine-fold accumulator on: Norwich vs Ipswich - Home win Saints vs Derby - Home win Saints vs Blackburn - Home win Swansea vs Saints - Away win Saints vs Bristol C - Home win Saints vs Ipswich - Home win PNE vs Saints - Away win Ipswich vs Boro - Draw Wrexham vs Boro - Home win There are plenty of other permutations which could play out but you'd basically need to overhaul a combined 21 points on Ipswich, Millwall, Boro and Hull. If you add in a couple of draws for Saints, which is more than likely, then you start needing five or six more games for the teams above us to go our way. The bookies had us down as having a 3% chance of automatic promotion before the Old Farm Derby today, I'd have said that was about right.

Horse racing. If motorsport had the same number of human fatalities it'd have been banned decades ago.

The logic is that I'd least like to play them in the playoffs. Catching them in six games, when they have a six point head start, a game in hand, a better GD and fair decent form (unbeaten in eight) is massively unlikely and I'd rather punt for the far more likely scenario of having the three worst teams possible in the playoffs. Wrexham in the SF, home leg second and Boro at Wembley would do me fine.

I'm not sure to what extent physical differences play a factor in professional darts. All I do know is that I'd feel a bit embarrassed telling people I was unable to compete athletically with Andy 'The Viking' Fordham; man, woman or otherwise.

18th over not a great one to go and stick the kettle on. It'll be interesting to see how, not if, we f**k this up from here.

TBH I want Ipswich to win tomorrow. We aren't catching them and they're the team I'd least like to face in the playoffs.

What a leave that was from Bean. Pitch doing a bit, we’re in this.

Andrew Davies and Alex McCarthy spring to mind, but they were generally just the least sh*t players in a sh*t season.

I don’t know if anyone remembers this game specifically but it was being played as Tonda’s mother was going into labour.

We weren’t forced because of his record, we were forced because the alternatives were Downs and Archer, whilst Stewart was injured. In an ideal world, AA would have been playing in his natural deeper, wider role where he got something like 37 goal involvements two years ago.

A fair few who could win it but all have been inconsistent to some extent. I’d probably say Scienza for the simple reason that he looked properly decent early in the season, even under Still, whilst everyone else looked largely crap. Downes, Azaz and THB probably the next best shouts.

If we’re in the PL I think we’re going to need a bit better than a 31 year old who has only ever once scored double figures on this side of the Atlantic, and that was in Turkey six years ago. He’s adding a valuable contribution on loan in the Championship but let’s not let our erections get too hard about him.

Typical football fan paranoia, we aren't realistically catching them. They've only really got three difficult games left; us Norwich and Boro. Even if they lose all three AND we win all our remaining games, they'd still finish level with us if they win their other four against Pompey, Charlton, WBA and QPR. It would take an awful lot to go perfectly for us in a very short space of time, and they're in decent form themselves. Five wins and three draws in their last eight.

WTF, you can’t just write ‘Moore’! He must be referred to as ‘Kieffer Moore’ at all times.

Just being very good at something doesn’t by default make you good at teaching it. Very often it’s quite the opposite as people struggle to relate to students who simply do not have the natural talent that they’ve always had. TBH I’m not even sure there is such thing as a shooting coach, specifically.

My grandfather had them installed about 15 years ago and was told then they would break even in about eight years. He was eighty at the time and we did wonder if he’d live to see any profit (no, as it turns out). A lot will depend on the direction your roof faces. I have seen panels on east facing roofs, which seems like an odd decision to me.

You think, following one of the worst seasons in PL history, we should have sacked the new manager six games into the season, after two defeats?

Just for the record I was being sarcastic, I don’t really believe they stuck two balls in the microwave to heat them up. Everyone knows they shoved them up Joe Cole’s arse for ten minutes.

Can we get mad Nate on loan?

Right, time to get those balls in the microwave.

Lose our last eight wickets for 68 runs, just awful.

Words worthy of Lincoln himself.

Well it’s only taken until the afternoon on day three for us to actually resemble something like a professional cricket team, with bat or ball.

People will be climbing over each other to pay it.

Beyond pathetic.