Lighthouse

The money it would take to find another first choice CB would be much better spent elsewhere and even if we did buy one, it'd just make Salisu unhappy and push for a move himself.

If we're playing four at the back and have MS, ABK, Lyanco and whichever of JS/JB sticks around, that seems alright to me and certainly an upgrade on last season. Better players than Lyanco and Bednarek aren't going to come here and be backup, so I'm not really sure what some of you are hoping for or expecting. I can't see Rom leaving unless we're getting someone else.

You’ve got a point but if the poll was unanimous we’d go back to the old format. It was messy and a bit ad hoc when there’re no mods around but if it’s what people wanted we’d do it. So far though, there’s not much in it.

Yeah but girls dig scars, perhaps he asked the surgeon to give him one deliberately.

I added the poll to gauge public opinion but truth be told there’s not always someone online to lock, stick and unstick threads on match days. Sometimes we’re 3-0 down and people are still going, "mods, where’s the match thread?!"

He’s kind of a likeable version of Osvaldo.

Nope. It’ll be a tragic, random accident caused by faulty spark plugs.

Right, we’ll have a Russian election on the match threads. Everyone gets to vote but if I don’t like it I’m having some of you killed.

Good idea but I’ll split the thread off for the new season.

He really thumped that. It was a power Ballard.

Can his song just be 'Kumbaya Ballard'?

Managing is one thing, being at the absolute peak of fitness is quite another. He’s on the pitch with 21 other elite athletes, so any fitness issue puts him at a disadvantage.

Yeah, never saw that coming when they were 6-2 chasing 298. Fair play.

Decent start with the ball. Good thing too, Kent aren’t beating Lancs today.

The absolute state of this pitch. If we can knock the ball down a rabbit hole, I reckon we can score about 30 whilst they grab a shovel and dig it out.

Liverpool at OT in front of the cameras is a completely different proposition to Saturday though. This is exactly the kind of game all their big egos will be well up for and Liverpool very kindly decided to help them out by being sh*te. I'm not saying United will go back to being sh*te themselves on Saturday but it'll be different.

Every team in the league, every season relies on three teams being worse than them. That's literally the definition of relegation.

I’m still sticking with the spark plugs theory.

Honestly, to be thinking like that only three games into a season is just exhausting and saps all my enjoyment from football. As far as I’m concerned anyone can still end up having a good or bad season, I really can’t be arsed having these micro-anxieties over Leeds or Forest picking up an unexpected point. Leeds thumped Chelsea and good on them.

Made a meal of the bowling after pegging them to 80-odd for 6 but credit to a disciplined performance from Hants. Another nervy game which could have gone either way with three overs to go, great game of cricket.

Do you pay the pedestrian tax to walk down Above Bar St.?

I think you’d have taken three from three if offered it before those games. Realistically I wouldn’t expect much from Spurs or Leicester away, so just beating Leeds and losing two would have been around a par score overall.

He’s the blonde, Malian Wayne Bridge.

Because Lyanco did. It’s a squad game, no room for sentimentality.

Ralph was asking if he had a license for his monkey.