Lighthouse

Not much I'd wager. It's not as if we had a bad start last year, or that our performances and results improved over time. It was hardly a last minute appointment at Saints either, I doubt the squad had gone through much other than basic fitness drills by the time he arrived.

Yoshida has the experience and the attitude to stay here and doesn’t disappear when the going gets tough. Given that we really need to strengthen with at least one senior player, that leaves Hoedt, Stephens and Bednarek fighting over two spaces. For me, WH and JB have the greater potential, which leaves JS still standing when the music stops. Either he is Pied’s replacement as backup RB, which I’m okay with personally, or he should move on.

My mate in the Ugandan Coast Guard reckons it’s Cardiff away first up and he’s pretty well connected. He was right about Zoltan Liptak signing. Love and Lighthouse.

He's the internet equivalent of a man going to A&E with a mobile phone stuck up his arse, trying to convince a hysterical nurse that he had just come out of the shower naked and sat on the bed, not realising it was there.

Okay, I take that back. Now it's funny again.

Sané doesn't make the Germany squad. Welbeck does make the England squad. I think that says something about the relative talent of both our nations.

If you've seen Le Tiss and Shearer then you've seen Niemi. He was far, far, far superior to Kelvin Davis.

I'm frequently dismayed to see the number of internet conspiracy loonies who genuinely believe western governments are the worst thing out there. Speaking as if terrorist atrocities are all our fault and that Putin and other dictators are somehow bravely standing up to the greed of the capitalist West. Putin uses this very well and has his own countrymen believing the majority of it, playing on the same insecurities Hitler did about Germany's financial problems being the Allies fault after WWI.

I couldn't give the tiniest sh*t which of you, Glasgow, Heisenberg, Hypo, Dusic, Charlie, Nordic, Batman, Brett from Camden and various other personalities (and I'm playing fast and loose in the extreme with that term) are the same person or people in real life. Your routine is tiresome and long since devoid of any humour.

Please, for your own sanity, turn the computer off, go out and at least try to talk to a female. I'm not joking or being sarky. You really, genuinely need to rethink your life.

This is really quite tragic. I actually feel bad that there is someone out there with nothing better to do with their life than pretend to be Kenyan on an internet message board.

MoPe appointed manager of Leganes.

I did enjoy the Koeman seasons, despite the poor form we suffered around December both years. I think in the second season we beat everyone bar Leicester (who got an injury time equaliser at St Mary's) and Everton (who we battered at Goodison but only drew). Both promotion seasons were also thrilling. That League 1 run in with Huddersfield, where we won something like 13 out of our last 15 games was just nuts. Pulling Brighton's pants down after the stick they had given Adkins was a particular highlight.

I think the Koeman seasons are a given, considering we were competing for European places at the time.

Hypothetical scenario - If you were offered a straight choice for next season, which would you chose: - A repeat of the Pochettino season - A repeat of this season just gone BUT we beat Chelsea in the semi final. I only ask because I remember quite a few people saying how boring and meaningless the Poch season was, given that we didn't make any notable progress in the cups. Many people said they would rather finish 17th and have a cup final. After what we've just witnessed, do people still feel the same?

Not saying I’d have King or Carrillo. I just don’t see how a striker who is consistently behind quite a few defenders in the scoring charts can be described as ‘massively underrated’.

Which is fantastic, if you like losing games without scoring and talking afterwards about how proud you are of the effort we put in and how we deserved something from the game.

If only Osvaldo had stuck with us for another 4 years, he could have gone.

Just so long as his wife stays away from Ann Summers, we should be okay.

No doubt West Brom will want that much but truth be told, they will need a few off the wage bill. He did alright last season, certainly did better than he did for us in his last 2 seasons and seems to have found some fitness. £15-20m seems fair. Decent enough player for a bottom half team.

Had we scored that last second goal instead of Man City, we'd have finished closer to 7th than we did under Puel. 8th doesn't tell anything like the full story.

It’s still a weird thing to do, walking into a tattoo parlour and saying, "hey, I’d like a pictorial reminder of how my dad was murdered, permanently imprinted on my leg." Having it on the leg you ‘shoot’ with is not a "deeper meaning." It’s just a bit naff.

It only works because women's tennis (and athletics) is at least watchable and entertaining. I can watch Wozniacki/Halep/Williams etc. and think 'this is a decent game of tennis'. They lack the power of the mens game but the talent is certainly there. Football just isn't like that. If a women's WC was run simulateously I would switch off immediately after the mens game, same as I would the Antiques Roadshow, if that happened to be on next.

It's not even the end of May and we've already had; "Why do Saints take longer than everyone else to sort deals out, FFS!?" and "Next season is going to be Liverpool's year!" It's a long summer, we need to save a few cliches for later.

What a plank.