Lighthouse

Bear Grylls wouldn't eat my cooking.

I quite like The Darkness and Bo Selecta x-mas records but I find all of the Band Aid singles to be preachy bullsh*t. Maria Carey can p*ss off too. Thoughts?

If Liverpool went with something like Lucas - Can Coutinho/Sterling - Henderson - Lallana Lambert/Sturridge They would probably do all right IMO.

First alcohol and now cocaine. I hope George can pull through this.

I would guess at Toby in midfield and Yoshi at CB, with probably Mane dropping out and Davis moving further forward.

The stereotype I find holds the most truth is that women go for douche bags. The number of times I've heard a woman b**ching about her ex and how much of an arse wipe he was, shortly followed by, "yeah we were together for like 5 years."

I'm pretty sure it's how Liverpool picked out Lovren.

Just because I'm bored, in this season's Champions League Matchday 1 - Ludogorets home Lovren - 90 mins Lallana - 67 mins Lambert - 0 mins Matchday 2 - Basel away Lovren - 90 mins Lallana - 20 mins Lambert - 9 mins Matchday 3 - Madrid home Lovren - 90 mins Lallana - 45 mins Lambert - 0 mins Matchday 4 - Madrid away Lovren - 0 mins - Why my daddy no play!? Lallana - 90 mins Lambert - 0 mins Matchday 5 - Ludogorets away Lovren - 0 mins Lallana - 0 mins Lambert - 90 mins Matchday 6 - Basel home Lovren - 90 mins Lallana - 0 mins Lambert - 45 mins

I hope you enjoyed that Adam, it was your last ever Champions League appearance. Oh wait...

"Yes!! Come on!!!" Good impartiality there.

Gonzalez can play.

Listening to him try and excuse Markovic is just painful. "I know he deliberately swung an arm into the guys face but it's never a red card."

Only one team deserve to go through watching this performance. Liverpool looking like the Sunday pub team who somehow made it through to the FA Cup third round.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Yet it still gets bites.

My personal favourite was Fellaini picking up the ball and wandering off with it, which apparently isn't a yellow for a deliberate hand ball.

Oh God, seriously just don't even talk to him. You will get nothing but garbage.

Christ, not this nonsense again. Yes it's a 'Sky jinx' that we've just lost to the biggest richest clubs in the world. If we were losing to Burnley and Leicester on Sky I'd be more inclined to believe it (even though it would still be nonsense).

N/A We will write to the FA and ask if we can 'graciously drop out of the league'.

What will happen if we don't?

If you really want cold and dark, hop on a flight up to Kiruna. You will probably see about 3 hours of twilight every day.

Hard to think they paid the best part of £70m for those two. More than our whole squad cost I think.

I know I've said Huntelaar before but what I wouldn't give for a world class goal poacher. Given the changes Long and Mane have missed this season he'd be in double figures already. Out of contract in summer, worth a cheeky bid.