badgerx16 Posted 17 May, 2023 Share Posted 17 May, 2023 Where do you go to learn to make ice cream ? Sundae school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 4 June, 2023 Share Posted 4 June, 2023 ( This is currently our 7 year old grandson's favourite joke )...…. Little Billy's teacher asks him why his maths answer says "10+10=11+11" Billy answers "10 plus 10 equals 20, and 11 plus 11 equals 20 too". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 6 July, 2023 Share Posted 6 July, 2023 2 blokes discussing their recently deceased mate; "Shame about Stefan, but at least it was a natural death" "What do you mean, he had a bloody great pole shoved up his arse" "Well, it's natural that he's dead then". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint in Paradise Posted 9 August, 2023 Share Posted 9 August, 2023 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint in Paradise Posted 11 August, 2023 Share Posted 11 August, 2023 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andypen Posted 12 August, 2023 Share Posted 12 August, 2023 I'm trying to remember the joke about a boomerang. Never mind, I expect it'll come back to me. (Jimmy Carr) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 15 October, 2023 Share Posted 15 October, 2023 She wanted me to treat her like a princess, so I married her off to a stranger to strengthen an alliance with Poland. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 15 October, 2023 Share Posted 15 October, 2023 3 expectant fathers are waiting in the delivery suite; one English, one Welsh, and one Pakistani. A doctor comes into the waiting room and announces that there has been a mixup with the babies and asks that the fathers go into the nursery to see if they can pick out any identifying features indicating which is their child. The englishman says he will go first, and after a couple of minutes comes back holding a baby with obviously darker skin. "Hold on", says the Pakistani father, "that baby has much more in common with me than with you". " I know", replies the Englishman, "but one of those 2 in there is Welsh, and I am not taking any chances". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 28 October, 2023 Share Posted 28 October, 2023 The difference between Gen Z and Boomers; Taylor Swift writes whiney songs about her break-up, Stevie Nicks made Lyndsey Buckingham sing the lyrics she penned about how big a bastard he was. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Convict Colony Posted 21 November, 2023 Share Posted 21 November, 2023 Whats the definition of relative humidity ? The sweat on your bollocks when your fucking your sister 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee On Solent Saint Posted 21 November, 2023 Share Posted 21 November, 2023 3 hours ago, Convict Colony said: Whats the definition of relative humidity ? The sweat on your bollocks when your fucking your sister One for the Pompey thread there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 29 November, 2023 Share Posted 29 November, 2023 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint in Paradise Posted 4 December, 2023 Share Posted 4 December, 2023 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 5 December, 2023 Share Posted 5 December, 2023 A man asks his girlfriend "Can you promise that I am the only one you have ever slept with". "Yes", she replied, "the rest were at least a seven". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 18 December, 2023 Share Posted 18 December, 2023 Why do ducks never grow up ? Because they grow down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 25 December, 2023 Share Posted 25 December, 2023 Who officiates cricket matches in the Vatican City ? The Holy Roman Umpire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 29 December, 2023 Share Posted 29 December, 2023 Where do hospital staff play hide and seek ? The ICU. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 (edited) How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza ? Deep pan, crisp and even. Edited January 9 by badgerx16 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 A German traveller approaches the passport check on arriving in a country: "Name ?" asks the Immigration Officer "Heinrich Gruber" is the reply "Occupation ?" asks the Officer "No, this time I am only visiting'". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redbul Posted March 4 Author Share Posted March 4 I've just heard that Dick Dastardly's dog wasn't well so he had to borrow another one. It wasn't 'exactly' the same, but it was a proxy Muttley. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redbul Posted March 4 Author Share Posted March 4 We were talking to the kids over the weekend about how the wife and I met. We met at a 'Make a Jelly in the shape of a US President' class. I knew she was the one as soon as I set Eisenhower. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrumpyYorkshireSaint Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 What do you call a monkey that explodes? A BaBOOM. I'll get my coat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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