Baj Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 Oh joy, this is where the fun starts. Can anyone recommend one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 You have as they say a PM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CB Saint Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 Good Luck BTW who gets custody of Saints Web Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rallyboy Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 it won't be easy but my tip would be try and agree as much as possible between the two of you - any amicable agreement will save thousands of pounds, and months of hassle - however annoying it might seem to have to negotiate on something that is clearly yours. Don't get into a £5K legal fight over a £1K stumbling block. It was a while back but mine was okay, though I did come across a solicitor who offered to represent me. He asked if I was paying for the kids, I said I was. Whe he found out it wasn't under a court order and I was doing it out of my responsibility as their father he was very confused. It was beyond him why anyone would pay for their children's clothes and food unless legally forced to, he was baffled, he thought I was an idiot for doing that. So he represented an aspect of possibly the most offensive professional industry I've ever come across. Don't get on the wrong side of someone like that, agree stuff between the two of you wherever possible. Though if you've been sh2gging her mum/sister/brother/daughter - you may have drifted beyond the negotiating stage, if little Baj has been out on manouevres you might have to hand all your keys in and look for a nice bench! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 Good Luck Baj, it's bloody horrible. Speak to the Egg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 it won't be easy but my tip would be try and agree as much as possible between the two of you - any amicable agreement will save thousands of pounds, and months of hassle - however annoying it might seem to have to negotiate on something that is clearly yours. Don't get into a £5K legal fight over a £1K stumbling block. It was a while back but mine was okay, though I did come across a solicitor who offered to represent me. He asked if I was paying for the kids, I said I was. Whe he found out it wasn't under a court order and I was doing it out of my responsibility as their father he was very confused. It was beyond him why anyone would pay for their children's clothes and food unless legally forced to, he was baffled, he thought I was an idiot for doing that. So he represented an aspect of possibly the most offensive professional industry I've ever come across. Don't get on the wrong side of someone like that, agree stuff between the two of you wherever possible. Though if you've been sh2gging her mum/sister/brother/daughter - you may have drifted beyond the negotiating stage, if little Baj has been out on manouevres you might have to hand all your keys in and look for a nice bench! Totally agree, they are the scum of the earth. And if you don't hate your ex now, you sure will come the end of all this. It cots me over £20k in fee's, £290k in assets and the odd pile or two, my chickens, a dog, runner beans, 2 stone in weight, and a estate of over £5M. But it was all worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GenevaSaint Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 If it's not too acrimonious (could be too late!) I would recommend mediation. Just started the process, they try to be fair to all and most of the agreements get passed through court with no issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 If it's not too acrimonious (could be too late!) I would recommend mediation. Just started the process, they try to be fair to all and most of the agreements get passed through court with no issue. You may as well shoot yourself in the head with a water pistol, it has the same effect. Waste of time unless your ex is as thick as ****. Go for the full court, it's a right laugh, and you get to dress up in shiny shoes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baj Posted 18 October, 2011 Author Share Posted 18 October, 2011 Thanks all. Well, I'm hoping itll all be ok, but who knows. We don't have a mortgage or anything, I have no money tied up, she does. I've already said to my solicitor "ive no interest in any money she has tied up, I don't want anything, I just want an agreement over the kids and job done". Me and her already have an agreement for the kids, and we've agreed through solicitor an amount of child maint that I'm perfectly happy with. So, all things considered, I'm hoping itll be a smooth process. I dont hate the woman, shes alright, though I'd be a lot happier if she just met someone else and settled down, would make my life easier! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raging Bull Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 Sorry to hear Baj, not good for anyone especially the children. Assuming your in the Southampton area try Footners (Romsey), specifically Peter McVean, I've used him a number of times for various things & is thorough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eurosaint Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 it won't be easy but my tip would be try and agree as much as possible between the two of you - any amicable agreement will save thousands of pounds, and months of hassle - however annoying it might seem to have to negotiate on something that is clearly yours. Don't get into a £5K legal fight over a £1K stumbling block. It was a while back but mine was okay, though I did come across a solicitor who offered to represent me. He asked if I was paying for the kids, I said I was. Whe he found out it wasn't under a court order and I was doing it out of my responsibility as their father he was very confused. It was beyond him why anyone would pay for their children's clothes and food unless legally forced to, he was baffled, he thought I was an idiot for doing that. So he represented an aspect of possibly the most offensive professional industry I've ever come across. Don't get on the wrong side of someone like that, agree stuff between the two of you wherever possible. Though if you've been sh2gging her mum/sister/brother/daughter - you may have drifted beyond the negotiating stage, if little Baj has been out on manouevres you might have to hand all your keys in and look for a nice bench! Are you suggesting that Baj is a Skate ?? Surely not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baj Posted 18 October, 2011 Author Share Posted 18 October, 2011 Slightly worried about the "daughter" bit... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raging Bull Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 Not sure if the daughter bit was oversight or insight?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trader Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 If you're still on reasonably good terms and everything is agreed you won't need solicitors at all. Get some papers from the court, fill them in (we filled ours in together), send them back to the court. Your divorce will come through, you both will have saved yourselves a packet, and will still be on good terms. I'm still friends with my ex - but everyone I know who's used a solicitor ends up hating their ex. The whole process doesn't have to be an acrimonious battle - just try to be grown up about it. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seaford Saint Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 (edited) If you're still on reasonably good terms and everything is agreed you won't need solicitors at all. Get some papers from the court, fill them in (we filled ours in together), send them back to the court. Your divorce will come through, you both will have saved yourselves a packet, and will still be on good terms. I'm still friends with my ex - but everyone I know who's used a solicitor ends up hating their ex. The whole process doesn't have to be an acrimonious battle - just try to be grown up about i Good luck. Sorry to read this Baj. This is good advice, keep solicitors out of things for as long as possible Best of luck Q Edited 18 October, 2011 by Seaford Saint To remove the Q.....I can't do it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 My parents divorce cost them £60 and they split those costs, no contesting anything, house was sold and equity divided evenly, done and dusted really quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 If you're still on reasonably good terms and everything is agreed you won't need solicitors at all. Get some papers from the court, fill them in (we filled ours in together), send them back to the court. Your divorce will come through, you both will have saved yourselves a packet, and will still be on good terms. I'm still friends with my ex - but everyone I know who's used a solicitor ends up hating their ex. The whole process doesn't have to be an acrimonious battle - just try to be grown up about it. Good luck. Great advice. Wish I'd have read that 12 months ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 My parents divorce cost them £60 and they split those costs, no contesting anything, house was sold and equity divided evenly, done and dusted really quickly. Did they steam off the stamps on the letters? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 Pre-paid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 Did you get your stain of your sofa Jill? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcjwills Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 Thanks all. Well, I'm hoping itll all be ok, but who knows. We don't have a mortgage or anything, I have no money tied up, she does. I've already said to my solicitor "ive no interest in any money she has tied up, I don't want anything, I just want an agreement over the kids and job done". Me and her already have an agreement for the kids, and we've agreed through solicitor an amount of child maint that I'm perfectly happy with. So, all things considered, I'm hoping itll be a smooth process. I dont hate the woman, shes alright, though I'd be a lot happier if she just met someone else and settled down, would make my life easier! Baj make sure your pension is safe, if she or her solicitor starts going for that, tell her its gloves off and fight her tooth and nail all the way, you don't want your old age fcked up by having naff all when she has half your pension, any of her pensions and her new partners pensions. It may be a long way off but you have to think of these things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egg Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 You have a PM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egg Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 If it's not too acrimonious (could be too late!) I would recommend mediation. Just started the process, they try to be fair to all and most of the agreements get passed through court with no issue. I am a mediator as well as a regular lawyer. Mediation is not suitable for all but where suitable it can be brilliant and save a fortune as well as reducing acrimony. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 18 October, 2011 Share Posted 18 October, 2011 bookmark this thread for future reference. Going through all this shyte as we speak..It's doing my head in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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