Coxford_lou Posted 12 February, 2015 Share Posted 12 February, 2015 Hey, Does anyone mind if I rejoin the Muppet show? The Lounge wasn't all it was made out to be- bashing homeless people, bashing friendly people that just wanted a drink before a game. I was wondering if we could work out a way where we could coexist, where you admit I'm female, and don't call me Colin, or attention seeking, and I tolerate the porn, sex and penis threads? Lou. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 Colin, it looks like you have already re-joined But the thread title is missleading xxx I was expecting pictures of tits and bums at least Rule 1 if your a female which you claim to be possibly verified by persons unknown at the Farmhouse (you could have sent a ringer or undercover policewoman) wheres the pictures ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 females with penises called Colin are my favourite Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 females with penises called Colin are my favourite What if the penis is called Kevin instead? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 Hey, Does anyone mind if I rejoin the Muppet show? The Lounge wasn't all it was made out to be- bashing homeless people, bashing friendly people that just wanted a drink before a game. I was wondering if we could work out a way where we could coexist, where you admit I'm female, and don't call me Colin, or attention seeking, and I tolerate the porn, sex and penis threads? Lou. Is This Wise? The moment I realised Lou was truly female, was on her last visit to Muppet Show, when she got upset & flounced off crying *** Not my real opinion, of course, but this is the kind of Hilarious Abuse you can expect in Muppet Show! The thing is, that you must respect the Hierarchy. We like women to start at the bottom, or at least in that area, and pretty much stay there, whereas women generally prefer to start at the top, and only after a great deal of encouragement and cajoling, make their way downwards. This is a Sex Joke, you will need to be on the look out for these! The Muppet Show is, in it's dark bone, the Sex Forum, and while a certain amount of PG banter is permitted, please recognise that it is only a matter of time before someone asks you how many times per week you Finger Yourself. This Is Fair Warning! This is the Environment & we do not yet have the technology to effect a Climate Change! If this is intolerable, and I can see why it would be, and I also agree that the Lounge forum is more for Tramp Stomping & Terrorist Pedophiles, then might I suggest, fArts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 13 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 13 February, 2015 Is This Wise? The moment I realised Lou was truly female, was on her last visit to Muppet Show, when she got upset & flounced off crying *** Not my real opinion, of course, but this is the kind of Hilarious Abuse you can expect in Muppet Show! The thing is, that you must respect the Hierarchy. We like women to start at the bottom, or at least in that area, and pretty much stay there, whereas women generally prefer to start at the top, and only after a great deal of encouragement and cajoling, make their way downwards. This is a Sex Joke, you will need to be on the look out for these! The Muppet Show is, in it's dark bone, the Sex Forum, and while a certain amount of PG banter is permitted, please recognise that it is only a matter of time before someone asks you how many times per week you Finger Yourself. This Is Fair Warning! This is the Environment & we do not yet have the technology to effect a Climate Change! If this is intolerable, and I can see why it would be, and I also agree that the Lounge forum is more for Tramp Stomping & Terrorist Pedophiles, then might I suggest, fArts? I think I can take it. It will be character building. I've grown as a person since I was last on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 13 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 13 February, 2015 Colin, it looks like you have already re-joined But the thread title is missleading xxx I was expecting pictures of tits and bums at least Rule 1 if your a female which you claim to be possibly verified by persons unknown at the Farmhouse (you could have sent a ringer or undercover policewoman) wheres the pictures ? Sorry Philippine, no pics. You're just gonna have to trust me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 I think I can take it. It will be character building. I've grown as a person since I was last on here. Gr8 news How many times pw do you finger urself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 13 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 13 February, 2015 Gr8 news How many times pw do you finger urself? And my survival tactic will be to just ignore the questions I don't like Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 For those that rapidly tire of being in the same place for more than a few days there's always the motoring forum. Personally, I'm looking forward to the day you sign up with the overseas forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 And my survival tactic will be to just ignore the questions I don't like v.wise! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 13 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 13 February, 2015 For those that rapidly tire of being in the same place for more than a few days there's always the motoring forum. Personally, I'm looking forward to the day you sign up with the overseas forum. I've got zero interest in cars. I do like overseas people though, but there doesn't appear to be much action over there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 Personally, I'm looking forward to the day you sign up with the overseas forum. Harsh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 13 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 13 February, 2015 v.wise! I don't see how this could go wrong! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 The problem with your supposed "sex" proof is that, like with Fermat, I'm just not sure I can believe it. We all know that pap's a woman, and Bucks is pre-op transexual. So if you're relying on hairy and Mary then, well, all I can say is that neither of them would "stand up in court". Anyway, Col, being Col here should be seen as acceptance. You should wear it like a badge of honour. You think when Bear (inadvertently - and hilariously) calls me Beltch, that I take that to heart. It's just Bear being chummy and telling the world how close we are as BFFFs. Right, Bear? Bear? You think when others playfully say "Bletch you pretentious, boring, pompous, overly verbose ****", that they mean that? I hardly think so. So you should be proud to be Col here, Col - no matter whether we think you are, or are not female. P.S. I hope you parked up while posting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 Is This Wise? The moment I realised Lou was truly female, was on her last visit to Muppet Show, when she got upset & flounced off crying *** Not my real opinion, of course, but this is the kind of Hilarious Abuse you can expect in Muppet Show! The thing is, that you must respect the Hierarchy. We like women to start at the bottom, or at least in that area, and pretty much stay there, whereas women generally prefer to start at the top, and only after a great deal of encouragement and cajoling, make their way downwards. This is a Sex Joke, you will need to be on the look out for these! The Muppet Show is, in it's dark bone, the Sex Forum, and while a certain amount of PG banter is permitted, please recognise that it is only a matter of time before someone asks you how many times per week you Finger Yourself. This Is Fair Warning! This is the Environment & we do not yet have the technology to effect a Climate Change! If this is intolerable, and I can see why it would be, and I also agree that the Lounge forum is more for Tramp Stomping & Terrorist Pedophiles, then might I suggest, fArts? Bear's right, Col. You need to be prepared for hurtful things to be said about you - especially in the pursuit of the art of hilarious fun with words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 13 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 13 February, 2015 Bear's right, Col. You need to be prepared for hurtful things to be said about you - especially in the pursuit of the art of hilarious fun with words. I can take it. I have a strategy! Anything is better than the living in Feltham thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 13 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 13 February, 2015 I have a question. Is the bunny rabbit emoticon a euphemism for something, or is it just a nice cuddly bunny rabbit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 Gr8 news How many times pw do you finger urself? The profile pic is a clue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the saint in winchester Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 I can take it. I have a strategy! Anything is better than the living in Feltham thread. Yes, that was a particularly tedious thread. Surely something he could sort out privately rather than involving us all in his house-hunting. So, Lou, if you won't post a pic, at least name a celebrity you have a passing ressemblance to. We're all hoping for Meg Ryan, but if it's Susan Boyle, we can cope with that. The reality we can cope with, the mystery is unbearable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 13 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 13 February, 2015 Yes, that was a particularly tedious thread. Surely something he could sort out privately rather than involving us all in his house-hunting. So, Lou, if you won't post a pic, at least name a celebrity you have a passing ressemblance to. We're all hoping for Meg Ryan, but if it's Susan Boyle, we can cope with that. The reality we can cope with, the mystery is unbearable. I'm teasing really, the lad got some good advice, and I'm pleased for him. I've been told I look like Rachel Weisz before. Hope that helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 So, Lou, if you won't post a pic, at least name a celebrity you have a passing ressemblance to. Someone who met her recently at Farmhouse (mention no names - it wasn't pap or his daughter tho) sent me a picture of Lou by pm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 I've been told I look like Rachel Weisz before. Hope that helps. Calling Pap Bon Jovi and Bucks Brad Pitt to TMS – confirmation please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 I've been told I look like Rachel Weisz before. Hope that helps. Dennis, I think they said Dennis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 (edited) Calling Pap Bon Jovi and Bucks Brad Pitt to TMS – confirmation please. As Lou gave me such a decent write-up, I have to agree. However, I can see where this is going, and as a fellow male, have some sense of where my male colleagues are coming from. Sorry it has to be this reductive, Lou. I feel it would save a lot of time. 1) Is Lou a girl? Yeah. Previous speculation that she was a moustache-twitchin' trucker was entirely unfounded. 2) How did reality reconcile itself with expectation? After finding out that she wasn't a trucker, everything was a bonus. 3) Is she normal? No. She meets people off Internet forums. Fúcking weirdo. 4) Where does she rate on your recently invented "would or wouldn't" metric, assuming some sort of hypothetical scenario where ms pap has seen finally sense and bin-bagged you and Lou has inexplicably developed a hobbit fetish? Would. 5) Does she have any facial tattoos? No. 6) Did she bring any dangerous animals to the venue? Bucks was fine once we put the muzzle on 7) Is she a copper? I have reason to believe she isn't. Well, either that, or she's playing the long game Edited 13 February, 2015 by pap Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 Would. lol Same questions re: Bucks Saint pls, for Equality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 lol Same questions re: Bucks Saint pls, for Equality I'm not really up for bumming Bucks, Bear. I can answer your question in a different way, though. Another hypothetical situation. Bucks and I are both single, out on the pull with limited pool of women. Is he a threat to me getting my end away? Yes he is. (Fúck you, Bucks! I thought we were supposed to be nascent drinking pals!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 I have to agree. Well, in that case – I'm sorry if this makes me shallow – I'm starting to warm to Lou. When is the next meet-up? I'm free until 1pm this afternoon, if that helps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 Sorry, other questions re: Bucks, the hypothetically treacherous bastard, him. 1) Is Bucks a girl? No. Previous speculation that Bucks might have been a bored female pornstar idling away the hours on SaintsWeb between takes was entirely unfounded. 2) How did reality reconcile itself with expectation? Well, after the back and forth on the PS4 vs XBox thread, I thought he was going to come dressed as the Master Chief. That did not happen. 3) Is he normal? Yeah, loads more than me. Looks like a typical mush going to football, talks about normal things (SaintsWeb excepted). 5) Does he have any facial tattoos? No. Looked proper out of place in the Farmhouse. 6) Did he bring any dangerous animals to the venue? No. 7) Is he a copper? I have reason to believe he isn't. Well, either that, or he's playing the long game Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the saint in winchester Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 I'm teasing really, the lad got some good advice, and I'm pleased for him. I've been told I look like Rachel Weisz before. Hope that helps. Hell yes. I immediately googled and saw a pic - married to Daniel Craig eh? The pic I saw was better than Halo's which looks like she is trying to blow a bubble in her bubble gum! Now Pap and his ilk have carried out "due diligence" on you, I'm sure a lot more of us will be up for meeting with you next time. But now I have a mental image of you. I have odd mental images of a lot of posters on here which would likely be way off beam to their real image. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 There needs to be a Saintsweb lookalike thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 I was likened to James Dean in my day. These days it's more a case of Pearl and Dean – the op didn't turn out quite as well as I had hoped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 I got called a "bargain bin Danny Dyer" the other week if that help. You farkin cahnts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 I was likened to James Dean in my day. Pre or post crash? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KelvinsRightGlove Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 There needs to be a Saintsweb lookalike thread. Wasn't there a 'post a pic of a TSW poster' a while back? Could we resurrect that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 Pre or post crash? There's no walking away from that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lighthouse Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 I can't be arsed reading this whole thread. Has Glasgow got her tits out yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 13 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 13 February, 2015 Hell yes. I immediately googled and saw a pic - married to Daniel Craig eh? The pic I saw was better than Halo's which looks like she is trying to blow a bubble in her bubble gum! Now Pap and his ilk have carried out "due diligence" on you, I'm sure a lot more of us will be up for meeting with you next time. But now I have a mental image of you. I have odd mental images of a lot of posters on here which would likely be way off beam to their real image. Just to be clear, I'm not saying I'm anywhere near as gorgeous as RW. I wouldn't like to build up too high an expectation, then leave you disappointed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 13 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 13 February, 2015 As Lou gave me such a decent write-up, I have to agree. However, I can see where this is going, and as a fellow male, have some sense of where my male colleagues are coming from. Sorry it has to be this reductive, Lou. I feel it would save a lot of time. 1) Is Lou a girl? Yeah. Previous speculation that she was a moustache-twitchin' trucker was entirely unfounded. 2) How did reality reconcile itself with expectation? After finding out that she wasn't a trucker, everything was a bonus. 3) Is she normal? No. She meets people off Internet forums. Fúcking weirdo. 4) Where does she rate on your recently invented "would or wouldn't" metric, assuming some sort of hypothetical scenario where ms pap has seen finally sense and bin-bagged you and Lou has inexplicably developed a hobbit fetish? Would. 5) Does she have any facial tattoos? No. 6) Did she bring any dangerous animals to the venue? Bucks was fine once we put the muzzle on 7) Is she a copper? I have reason to believe she isn't. Well, either that, or she's playing the long game Thanks Pap, much appreciated. I too hope this will save time in the long run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 13 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 13 February, 2015 I can't be arsed reading this whole thread. Has Glasgow got her tits out yet? I can't be arsed reading your whole message. Have you finished yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 I got called a "bargain bin Danny Dyer" the other week if that help. You farkin cahnts That's harsh. Danny Dyer is already bargain bin. I know people will say "pap, you can't say that! Moff from Human Traffic was excellent!". Yeah, maybe. The bit after that, where Danny lived on cable networks and went around with football crews pretending he was in constant danger, earned him the bargain bin tag. To any smart arse that says "but yeah, pap - he's in Eastenders now", I'll just say that virtually anyone could get into EastEnders. At one stage, you just needed footage of yourself attending Grange Hill Comprehensive. Footage! They weren't even asking for O Levels or GCSEs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 I can't be arsed reading your whole message. Have you finished yet? He can't finish until someone gets their tits out If no-one else is volunteering, I will help out with this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 That's harsh. Danny Dyer is already bargain bin. I know people will say "pap, you can't say that! Moff from Human Traffic was excellent!". Yeah, maybe. The bit after that, where Danny lived on cable networks and went around with football crews pretending he was in constant danger, earned him the bargain bin tag. To any smart arse that says "but yeah, pap - he's in Eastenders now", I'll just say that virtually anyone could get into EastEnders. At one stage, you just needed footage of yourself attending Grange Hill Comprehensive. Footage! They weren't even asking for O Levels or GCSEs! I think it was the beard and waistcoat combo in the office. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 13 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 13 February, 2015 He can't finish until someone gets their tits out If no-one else is volunteering, I will help out with this Bearsy, my new email reply strategy means I'm not replying to many of yours, and that makes me sad! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lighthouse Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 He can't finish until someone gets their tits out If no-one else is volunteering, I will help out with this It's okay Bear, she plays hard to get in public but she has been PMing me all sorts of obscene photos all afternoon. Having said that, if you want to share your natural beauty with the rest of us, don't let me stop you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 Bearsy, my new email reply strategy means I'm not replying to many of yours, and that makes me sad! woah i ought to be Exempt! I can understand you not wanting to answer impertinent questions from perverts like Lighthouse & Beltch, but me? Srsly? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 13 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 13 February, 2015 woah i ought to be Exempt! I can understand you not wanting to answer impertinent questions from perverts like Lighthouse & Beltch, but me? Srsly? I did think your picture was very artistic. I can see you've got a good drawing style, and imagination. I was impressed by that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 I did think your picture was very artistic. I can see you've got a good drawing style, and imagination. I was impressed by that! It is Funny that you should say that because in certain Primary Schools in West Sussex I am a v.famous illustrator! What happened, and I have mentioned this various times & no-one seems to care, so bearsy with me if it's boring, is that I have a young niece who I love v.much (I also have other nieces & a nephew who I'm not so fond of) and for a Christmas present I hand-made a Children's book with Illustrations & Card & Selotape and I give it her as a Present. I wish I had taken pictures of the illustrations! They was excellent! Anyway this book I made was a Massive Hit with the U8 market, and now gets passed around the school yard in a furtive manner, like crack cocaine I do not have the pictures but I Remember the Transcript. I am gonna try and recover this book at Some Point because it is the Only Copy and when I am Dead it will prob be worth Millions! *********** BABY BEAR NEEDS A POO by Brian Earsy I need a poo! said baby bear. You can't poo here, said mummy bear, this is a shop. You'll have to hold it in. I need a poo! said baby bear. You can't poo here, said mummy bear, this is a car. You'll have to hold it in. I need a poo! said baby bear. You can't poo here, said mummy bear. Not on your sister's face. You'll have to hold it in. Baby bear held it in and held it in. BUUUUURP! said baby bear. The poo come out his mouth! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unbelievable Jeff Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 I think we need more of these forum meet up with Pap. You could meet up with someone different each time Pap, and then post a review of the evening. It'd make everyone feel that little bit more like a family... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 Pap's too agreeable, he's met up with various forum members, and as far as I can tell, he's not got a bad word to say about any of them! It would be a much better narrative if the meets turned violent We should send someone who is permanently Angry, like Grey Crab or Grigsy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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