qwertyell

A mother buys her kids a pet dog for Christmas but instead of getting the Labrador they wanted instead she brings them a carved potato in the vague shape of dog. The kids don't want it because it's a vegetable.

Where's Dragan in all this? I'm not sure of the structure at Saints, but isn't he basically bankrolling Ankersen and his spreadsheet hipsters? When does he step up and start calling people to account? On the current trajectory he's been stung for around £400m for a Championship club. What a mug.

Extraordinary. Washing his hands of responsibility, while simultaneously admitting he's too weak to lead. "I've listened to people". What a quote. Should be the final word on his managerial spell here, but it won't be.

Maybe someone should tell him to win some fucking matches.

2-0 h/t. To be fair, I thought we were relatively solid for the majority of the half - albeit lacking any open play threat whatsoever going forward, as usual. And then the ceiling caved in. As usual. What else is there to say? This is not a team or club that's going anywhere but out of the league. - Just as an aside, it really is a fascinating curiosity watching Elyounoussi repeatedly attempt and fail to knock the ball out of his feet and sprint past his opponent. He must be one of the slowest outfield players in the league, always loses every foot race, and yet the thought has seemingly never occurred to him to adapt to play within his limitations. Perhaps he doesn't think he has limitations. Perhaps in his head he's Usain Bolt. Fucking useless lump of shite.

He'll rock up if we somehow win on the weekend.

He was completely useless in the first half. Nowhere to be seen in defence or attack. I don't think he or anyone else deserves a pat on the head for marginally improving in the second half once the game was already lost. When it counted, he was shite.

How many shots that are nowhere near the corner of the net is our keeper going to get a weak hand to on its way in? It's not inexperience - he's just rubbish.

Ha ha ha - there it is. Teacher's pet straight in (Perraud wasted his time getting us through to the next round of the FA cup), and the back 5 that we all know he's desperate to play. Janny B FFS.

Hello hello?

Agreed. Mara ran around gamely on Saturday as our nominated striker, and we didn't create so much as a half chance for him - against a Championship side. In the end he had to create the only decent bit of open play attacking for Perraud's winner. Our problems run much deeper than one striker.

28 - with a couple of guesses thrown in.

That'd be our "Jamie Redknapp" for this relegation season. Hasn't started a league game all season because he's got a chronic injury that Spurs haven't been able to even correctly diagnose let alone treat. He's not training. He's not playing. Spurs are releasing him at the end of the season.

Well, that was atrocious game management. What should've been a comfortable coast into the next round a 2-0 turned into a grim slog to hang on. 85 minutes out of Lavia, and the full 90 from Bella-Kotchap should be a positive, though - provided there's no reaction. Thought our football in the first half was pretty decent, to be fair. Unbelievably casual and dozy in the second half. Only Saints can make a win feel like a defeat...

1-0 h/t. I think we've knocked the ball around quite nicely - no aimless hoofing. Goal aside, Perraud at left back just balances the side. It makes a big difference having a full back who can overlap and cross with his left foot. Edozie effortlessly gliding through challenges is never less than a lovely sight. Aribo has even seemed half interested. Been a bit open when countered, and ultimately haven't had much cutting edge still. The club might want to look into whether they accidentally signed Croatia's third best Orsic impersonator. Looks very out of sorts. Second goal probably ends this contest.

Bree and Bednarek are cup tied.

Leicester, not Leeds. We should be all over this - haven't really got anyone who's a natural on the right wing. All our wide players want to play off the left.

He's apparently 6' 2". The smallest 6' 2" I've ever seen. Must've been wearing platform shoes on height measuring day. This is one of my main concerns with him - he can't get to the corners. He's small and has a feeble leap/dive. Shots don't even have to be that close to the corners and he still gets nowhere near. Those that talk about him having potential and just needing more experience are, I think, missing the bigger issue: he doesn't have the fundamental tools to be a top goalkeeper, IMHO.

Is that his full name?

Have you not seen the routine? Keeper passes to CB. CB doesn't know what to do and passes it back to the the keeper. Keeper hoofs it 65 yards into touch. Might as well cut out the middle man and launch the goal kick from the off.

Vitinha's release clause is reportedly £26m. So if we want him, we don't need to waste time haggling. But Braga are having a great season and are second in the league. Why would he leave to play hoofball at the arse end of the PL when his team are in a title race?

What to make of that? Second half was a lot better - yet we still looked a bit of a rabble that weren't sure what they were doing, and Newcastle scored, and missed three sitters. We could've been on the end of a hiding in spite of seemingly doing all right. Armstrong's handball was as bad a fluffed chance as Adams' earlier miss. It was a tap in. The only reason it bounced into his hand was because he fucked up the shot. Shame - Armstrong was actually one of our better players tonight. Don't know where we go from here. We're terrible in front of goal and always liable to concede. And the manager's on TV now doing a fucking lap of honour, bollocking on about how proud he was with our performance... "We are so close to being a good side. So close." If it wasn't for all the losing, eh?

What a hoofing load of shite. Could barely string two passes together, and have mostly resorted to long punts. Jones-ball in action. Salisu's been in the mood - must be trying to reignite Newcastle's interest from last year. Think Diallo's been quite good (unpopular opinion alert). Out of possession anyway - he's intercepted and tackled well. We know his passing is rubbish. Mara relatively bright up front, feeding on less than scraps. But there's not much else to say for our attacking play. Orsic completely anonymous. Newcastle miles better. But we're still in it. Somehow.

Played in Villa's 1-2 FA Cup home loss to the mighty Stevenage. Played for us, believe it or not, in the EFL Cup second round win against Cambridge.

Didn't think Adams was any better or worse than usual. He is what he is: a striker who is a poor finisher, has no left foot, can't head, and doesn't really anticipate chances. It's not a great combination at this level. He works hard for the team, though, and links up play quite well. I will say this: not sure if my mind's playing tricks but I could've sworn he had a little bit of pace once upon a time. Never rapid, but he was mobile. Just plods around like a lump these days. Don't know where that pace has gone.