CB Fry

At least Bale is a superstar who has turned up at a tournament and actually delivered. Fair play to him.

Errrrm, ok.

Clyne keeping his place.

Nivea never going to score.

Steptoe should have buried that.

Five live desperate to make out our two full backs don't know each other. Bizarre.

Lots of panic on five live about all the changes but looking at that team I think they should have plenty to win the game. Lane has been poor so deserves to be dropped. And the masses have got their wish. No Rooney. So everything will be fine, right everyone?

Slag.

This is definitely not not a smokescreen. Mods, change the poll pls.

Yes but this is the smokescreen covering the smokescreen covering the smokescreen of who we really want you to think it isn't but it isn't really but it is. Or, that's exactly what they want you to believe because it is not not untrue. Or something.

I can categorically state this is not the case.

You people will not believe what Crabby has just sent me. Dy.na.mite. Obviously I'm not sharing as it is a secret apart from to say if it's good enough for Newell's Old Boys, Velez Sarsfield and Espanyol then it's good enough for little old Saints.

We need the poll amended to reflect how many people want Zenga.

Rioting in celebration because he was so impressed, I think he meant.

Walter Zenga: now. Right now. Written off now. Today. Now.

Hello Party People! This Is Captain Les Speaking Welcome Aboard Zenga Airways After Take Off Will Pump Up The Soundsystem Cause We're Going To Europa! I Don't Wanna Be A Busdriver All My Life I'm Gonna Pack My Bags And Leave This Town Grab A Flight Fly Away On Zenga Airways Fly Me High Europa Sky I Look Up At The Sky And I See The Clouds I Looked Down At The Ground And I See The League go Down The Drain Fly Away On Zenga Airways Fly Me High Europa Sky Whoah! We're Going To Europa Whoah! Back To The Championship Whoah! We're Going To do a Villa Whoah! We're Gonna Have A Meltdown Whoah! All live on the TV

The Zengabus is coming And everybody's jumping New York to San Fransisco An intercity disco The wheels of steel are turning And traffic lights are burning So if you like to party Get on and move your body

But that would have been the case with Victor last season and we already had an example of it with Clyne during that summer. We could have flogged VW for £20m plus but didn't. Even if we hold on to Mane, I'd say we'd still double our money next summer because we'd have multiple clubs after him anyway and he's a striker not a defensive midfielder or full back. If he doesn't kick off I'd think we'd try and keep him but I think his head will be gone by July so we won't.

Bare ankles. So mainstream. So 2015.

My favoured explanation is the club are trolling the s@#! out of the fanbase for a giggle. If I was a billionaire owner of a club I'd think I'd actually spend more time on that than doing proper deals. The days would fly by.

Walter Zenga is Australian Lucky Charms with Coconut Milk served in a Tricorn hat. On a unicycle. In Norway.

In other news, Hoara Borselli.

They'll be a hipster along in a minute babbling on about Pochettino and how-will-we-ever-know-how-good-he-is-at-this-level-if-he-never-gets-a-chance.

Interesting just now on another thread that Koeman's father was aware of VVD years ago and scouted him for Groningen. But yeah, VVD nothing to do with Ronald and all to do with our magical black box.

He was calm enough. There were a few dins in awful shirts talking sh ite about the dictatorship and Neville Chamberlain who I would have merrily said "oh, do fu ck off you cretin" to. Probably why I'm not Prime Minister.