CB Fry

Premier league. Or prem. Or just "when are the fixtures out". Not that hard tbf.

Any of our jock-watchers think this Forster kid is any good? We need a keeper at least with potential to be equal to Kelvin by the end of next season. Nice to have an English keeper too. Just thinking lets see if we can really screw the hoops over.

What's the inaccuracy in my post you are referring to and what's it got to do with biology?

"Had he scored 51 goals in two Premier League seasons, he would be lining up for England against Norway tomorrow". Well yes, he would. But he hasn't. If my mum had balls she'd be my Dad.

Absolutely. What better way to drum up more intrerest than the club seeding interested parties out to the press. If JR really does want to stay up north, maybe the club desperately need to flush out a northern club with some money to buy him. There's plenty of theories to work up. It's just funny that as soon as some club PR man says "nothing doing" then people assume that really is the end of it. How many times was Cesc Fabrigas not going to Barcelona?

Possibly. Also possible the clubs are talking but have absolutely no intention of revealing anything officially yet. Club official rings journo, blabs off record, denies on record. Pretty common in all public arenas from politics to pop music. These things are not always just agents stirring and journalists making it all up.

It's obviously not pure guess work. I do like the way that on here all journalists are liars and all club spokemen are the paragons of absolute truth. Let's see what happens but the one thing I am very comfortable is that story from the Lancs paper is not just made up out of nothing.

Teeny tiny minnows Everton have sold 20,000 season tickets already I see. No doubt influenced by the fact they will be entertaining footballing megagiant SolentCitySaintsFC in the coming season.

Possibly made more money per ticket but not neccessarily sold the most tickets we could have. But impossible to prove apart from fact that pretty much no other club does it our way.

Don't forget, when we build a 45,000 seater stadium you won't be able to move for flexible ticket prices to bring the fans in. The "enlightened ones" told us so. Just like all those flexible ticket pricing initiatives this season when we had between seven and ten thousand empty seats to fill. Oh.

I think it is reasonable to suggest that there is a small number of fans that would have been inspired to buy a season ticket in the euphoria of promotion, but have reflected and decided not to. So it's the reverse - not time to decide to buy but time to decide not to buy. Funnily enough the build-it-build-it-build-it-now brigade can't stop banging on about how we are going to attract precisely these type of impulsive casual fans. Let's put this back into context - every other club in our division has decided to sell theirs. Arsenal. Man U. Man City. Chelsea. Obviously none of them have a clue what they are doing and this is clearly revolutionary by our club and they'll all be doing it our way next year. What's that? We did it our way last season and the biggest clubs in the Premier League haven't copied us? Oh. Funny people were saying that kind of thing when we kicked out the local press photographers as it was going to open up a revolutionary new revenue stream. It didn't. It flopped. It was dropped. Let's take off the red and white specs that everything we do is brilliant because we are doing it.

This sounds incredibly unlikely.

Why don't you simply ignore the many people that say everything you write is a masterclass in soul destroying tedium?

93% wages to turn over is not that great an example of "smart, tight finances". We've done well but not for the reasons you say here. With a big wage bill and some significant tranfer fee outlay, we've spent our way up. Money is far more important to our progress rather than guff about "true love of the game".

I think you cult of Cortese people need to get your story straight. So is it We are breaking new ground in East Africa definitely East Africa to unearth the next Haile Gebreselassie to play right wing or It is actually the entirity of Africa that Jaidi is scouting or When Les Reed says East Africa, he actually means the Ivory Coast after all and of course he definitely doesn't mean actually East Africa as it actually I think it really stretches from...etc etc.... Just work out which party line you people are all going with because you're falling to pieces at the moment.

Ask 100 people to "calculate" an average, and at least 90% would do the "add them all up and divide by the number of things" calculation that is the common usage of average that we all learn at school. The other ten percent might ask the question about mode and median, but they'd just be showing off. "Average" is mean in British common parlance. It just is. And the AVERAGE command on Microsoft excel does the mean as well. Funnily enough. And, although no one knows the exact details of Bayern's structure, the news reports majored on the £104 figure. If there was a more newsworthy, and lower, number, which there would need to be to make the AVERAGE around £100, then don't you think that would have been in the news reports? So lets just agree that the average season ticket price is not £100, shall we?

You're not wrong. I'd say it's North Africa. And far better to scout out there than East Africa, which although certainly "thinking outside the box" might be a wee too much for a medium sized English football club to take on. SolentCitySaintsFC academy in Uganda anyone? Hmmm.

That managerial stability thing is the biggest myth in football. Pretty much every successful manager in every successful club is successful within a year (or a first full season). And that includes common poster boys for stability Moyes and Wenger, both successful very quickly. And all our successful managers since the eighties have been instant successes: Ball, Hoddle, Jones, Strachan, Pardew, Adkins. Instant success works, so you can see why chairmen chop and change. If the team aint working after a year or so, twisting is just as good as sticking. Thankfully for us is it is working, so no need to do anything except support our Nige.

Was it balls. Actually it was Frank's Cousin's original idea, but he had it as a 4,000 word badly spelt ramble. I turned it into a handy seven letter acronym.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/products.php?term=HCDAJFU&defid=2684427 Get your HCDAJFU mousemats here. Nothing to do with me BTW.

You've forced me into it. I have said this a couple of times before. I invented HCDAJFU. So there. I was the first person to use it, and I did the first HCDAJFU mega thread, it was a bit different to how it is now. And I think it was six years ago this month just after I got made redundant and had far too much time on hands. I don't expect anyone to care. But I am having it on my tombstone.

In what way is it a wind up and in what way is it stupid to make the almost embarrassingly obvious point that Adkins would leave us for Liverpool. You do realise Nigel left another club to join us don't you? We didn't pluck him out of the Northam and give him a contract.

You've heard what I have. Don't let them get to you.

You've never got the better of me, especially when you're wan king over fantasy catchment areas. Anyway. Bored.

Sounds about right to me. To be honest "serious debating" with you and your div mates is not something I plan to do any time soon. Forest was obviously a gag. Villa wasn't. MLG is, of course, a joke.