Patrick Bateman

Southampton isn't brilliant for things to do, but there are enough places to drink. If you want to start with some history, you can walk the old walls and look at whatever ships in (if that floats your boat, ahem). Seriously though, the walls and places like the Tudor house are actually pretty good; http://www.discoversouthampton.co.uk/visit/things-to-do/attractions That'll fill the 2 hours until lunch, then there are plenty of places to eat and drink from lunchtime until the match, sorted.

Feel sorry for these poor sods really - "welcome to England", deal with the delays on the M20, the inevitable car park of the M25 through Surrey, roadworks all the way down the M3 until Basingstoke, then they get dumped in Southampton to make their own way around in a city with essentially not a lot to do.

Was going to give you one of those at our next beer session ...

Probably kept it as one of those food lifts like you see in restaurants where the kitchen is below the dining room - at 2' tall, it would be perfect for that.

True. YOU HAVE TABLE (holds up 4 fingers) FOUR QUATROZE (or some other badly pronounced mishmash of languages) ... Brits abroad are hilarious for all the wrong reasons.

I'm not proclaiming to be a journalist, you lemon.

Exactly this. It's like the utter helmets who think they're quality journalists who sit writing blogs that 4 people read, or writing for crap online media outlets such as that "Here is the city" rubbish. No one cares, you're just recycling the no news that others have said. It's boring. Watched about 20 seconds of this shouty prat and turned it off. Is this what people really sit and watch on the internet?? FFS! Go and kick a ball, paint a fence, get a job, hang around a shop, anything other than waste your life making and/or sitting watching trash on the internet.

Agreed

1. Man Utd 2. Chelsea 3. Man City 4. Arsenal 5. Liverpool 6/7/8/9. Spurs, Saints, Swansea, Palace (!?) ... actually, could through in Everton and Newcastle too. Could be an interesting season, but I can't see that not being the top 5, in that order, bar a spectacular f**k up by Man Utd. Relegated; Could be many, but Bournemouth, Watford, Sunderland.

Exactly this and/or a "look we don't need to sign your player, we have other options" type of game.

lol, you fanny!

I think we seem to have a load of fans who thinks Saints deserve to keep all their players. We're still way down the pecking order and thankfully we always will be as we won't then attract even more (clueless) new generation football fans. I do agree with you on Spurs fans, I know one that's a good bloke, the others are complete helmets. But let's not become like them, that's my point as we've generally been a club supported by people who are pragmatic and know their football, with the odd sprinkling of old moaners ... GET IT FOORWWARRD.

Exactly, I expect loads of bile from Celtic and Feyenoord fans.

And this. Liverhampton, Wet Spam, Man Ure, Aston Vile, Arse-nil, Chelski ... f**king hilarious. And tinpot.

When did Saints fans become so bitter about other clubs?

I know it was tongue in cheek, but that's actually pretty good. We haven't used that tune for a while either, have we??

Would love Ferencváros - know Budapest like the back of my hand, would be great to go back after 2 years, miss it, awesome city and bloody cheap!

I miss those days. A full strength team and 2 'mystery trialists'. Now it's just a load of helmets on Twitter and other social media forms pretending they know something and passing off other people's info as their own. It's boring and tedious.

What is that absolute disgusting mess of a 'human'?

Southampton St Mary's, yeah? Do I need to point this out; "The club has been nicknamed "The Saints" since its inception in 1885 due to its history as a church football team, founded as St Mary's Church of England Young Men's Association (or St Mary's Y.M.A) and has since generally played in red and white shirts." and "St Mary's Church one of two Christian Churches in the area the other being St Michael's 1000 years old Saxon church are members of the local parochial council which serves many Christians in the area as well as many West African people.The church has peels of bells which ring on a Monday night bell practice. Famed for the bells of St Mary's sang by Bing Crosby." FFS.

Likewise. And from now until the end of August this forum will be full of utter helmets (more so than normal) pretending to know this and that, whinging about signings/no signings. So for that reason, I'm out.

Ah good, I look forward to seeing some bizarre goalmouth activity against Arsenal, on Match of the day next season.

And that is £8bn too much, in my opinion. I'm not going to argue, that's just what I think.