DT

problem one: players don't give a toss problem two: players not good enough problem three: we think we have a divine right to go up/win every game problem four: poor keeper (I know, I know, but I really think a lot stems from this problem five: manager who is not exciting said billy big boots players problem six: arrogant chairman problem seven: er that's it. Too much to resolve in one season. Stay in league this time unless Adkins really is good. Boot out billy big boots players (again)

Nice appointment, nicola.

In other news, Pope announces he is Catholic and bears go to the woods for poo poo.

Not sure a FOI request would get it. Doubt we'll ever know. But I must say I read that statement and thought it was really petty, and almost passive aggressive. It does not reflect well on Cortese, who has more than a touch of the Rupert in his relationship with the press etc. I'm imagining him tearing off his mask at the end of Scooby Doo to reveal his real Lowe identity and saying 'I'd have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you fans'

And of course you never read any papers whatsoever.

Adkins has just texted me saying your wife has signed

shouldn't you be getting back to processing the betting slips?

Chaps - if I put a £1000 bet on the Chewbacca from Star Wars, he/it would be installed as favourite. This is how betting works.

I call it Berlusconi-lite

they clearly think we have billions which we clearly now do not

Can't we just boot Cortese out instead?

Sounds like something out of Goodfellas or the Sopranos to me. Very sinister. We should pay the compensation. Then again, we could always spend it on getting in a good out of work Irish manager...

i pwomise

I'd prefer Pipkins to Adkins

v underwhelming

we are imploding

You're bard

Borrow Burley's gel instead.

DATS da fella who's tuppin yer missus, mr fontee, dat fella dare! y'see im? der one wiv de grey herr, to be surre? pahjew. now den. can i be havin his job now mr cortissier? can oi? it'll be good craic. and we'll be winnin de league in no toime.

please be true, please be true

is he wet?

It's because he wanted to bring in SuBo on a short-term loan and play her at central defence.

It's because Pardew is actually a LADIEEEEEE

Yeah, that one was accurate

If so, Billy Davies, finally, please. No nonsense promotion.