DT

Or Holland & Barrett for his pills.

He should shop in Wotterose

He'll be in Lidl next week.

Rupert Lowe would make a good director of football. Sorry, i meant to say Rupert Lowe is a tosser. It just came out wrong.

Pardew: Portvliet Coppell: Wotte

We let a goal in? FFS (joking)

Boat-eng?

v good

But do we want their cast-offs? I mean, shouldn't we cast the net wider? (arf)

No wonder it's only your third coming...

about tuna out of ten

someone tell pilchards

I tried to buy haddock.

Pretty much. Puts the 'St' in Stalin. Thou shalt not say anything naughty or against the cause. Or you must go away/are a 'negative' person/don't believe in sports psychology mumbo jumbo/are not a Christian (tongue in cheek, this one)/are not Sir Clive Woodward/have not fully recognised how far adrift we are already. For what it's worth, I am getting a bit worried, but think that this is a pretty over the top reaction to NOT LOSING against one of the division's better sides. And that results will come soon. I blooming hope. Not expecting much against Charlton though.

when was the last time Davis kept a clean sheet? Optimist part of me says a 2-1 win on the basis that we play better against better teams. Dross always beats us.

V good

Perhaps AP feels that to sell MS would have appeared as if he was being pushed around by the French under 21 coach. Or maybe the offers were both derisory.

I'm sure it's been done but: Waigo! Wa-ai-i-go Daylight come and me wanna go home...

This golf talk is just so exciting and relevant. Well done chaps.

Just take my advice and you'll be fine. Think positive.

Someone call the earlobe specialist. I'm sure he's still on the SWF payroll...

Careful, SS. He's (StWill) being 'positive' again and not at all taking every opportunity to get his little point across in an oh so happy and carefree manner which is not at all bearing a grudge. Oh no. Certainly not.

I think we made a mistake and were really after Papa Boupa Diop, but Pardew had one too many.

*adopts Roopey voice and ruddy complexion* 'It's the catering that is the envy of the entire Football League, dear boy'.

Unscientific twoddle.