DT

how long's his contract?

I can quite imagine the picture Gold and Sullivan will paint of a high-flying club in a brand new post-Olympic stadium (which I suspect is half why they're involved) in a bid to lure someone cheap to give them stability, like Pardew.

*hears thousands of hearts bleeding*

Fonte was always class. Lambert I'm not sure about - he says he has under Wilkins et al, but who knows. Why?

And Cardiff manager Dave Jones is a shock contender to replace Gianfranco Zola as West Ham manager, should the Italian leave the club in the summer. Full story: Daily Mirror

Portsmouth's £119m list of debts includes £40 owed to Pukka Pies and 20p to Qatar Airways. Couldn't make it up.

This is the template for Spurs a couple of years down the line. Anyone spot the link?

I'd eat my bed for that.

Rymans expenses for Redknapp's brown envelopes.

Because they're both too good for this league, there will be plenty of suitors and Lambert is getting on a bit.

'Only' £4k a week. What a world.

Bet he was asked already and only didn't go because Zola refused to resign.

I'd be very surprised if we hold onto him. Or Lambert, despite what he told a fan.

Lallana and lambert agents reach for mobiles.

Volcano ash engulfs rest of league.

No Morgan, no win.

Joe?

Fat lady gargling.

The Scooby Doo and Shaaggy movie remake was not going well.

Pompey?

Still hoping, but think time's run out on us. Points on the board.

Nathan Dyer - an all round nasty human being with an overinflated opinion of his own ability. BWP was clearly his tutor.

Walsall just screwed our season.

No.

We'll fall 9 points short then Nicola will launch and win a legal case reinstating the 10 points deduction on the grounds that the assurance we made that we would not appeal was given by the previous regime, not the incumbents. The rest of the league will be a bit upset. But we'll lose the first play-off game in the mistaken belief that we've done enough already. Or - we'll lose against Charlton this weekend. Game over.