John Boy Saint

This is why there was so much carnage when West Ham moved into the Tax Payer Arena, everyone was peppered round the ground instead of saying right this is where we propose the rowdy raucous fans are going to sit.

Jeez can I get a cart load of what you are peddling on here tonight delivered to my house, the roses would love it, and as for the Rhubarb!!!!

.......12,345........12,346......... wish I lived in New Zealand 'cos I'm running out of sheep.......12,3??!!......... Hollyhocks!! 1........2............3................4.........................5..................

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Methinks we could be standing on 10:38 out of Basingstoke then.

Blimey! Do they still do that Kung Foo thing on Soccer AM? Ouchee!!

A left wing politician, a TV reporter and a SAS trooper were captured by ISIS. They were sentenced to death by beheading. The ISIS leader said they could have one last wish each before sentence was carried out. The politician ask to hear a rendering of keep the red flag flying. The reporter asked that the beheading to be televised so that even when he was dead his face would be on TV. The trooper asked to be kicked up the arse three times . This was carried out, as the last kick landed the trooper pulled a hidden 9 mm pistol out of his smock shot three terrorists dead grabbed a fallen AK 47 and killed the rest of the terrorists. The other two were amazed, and asked why he requested to be kicked three times before drawing the gun, Because, said the trooper, when we get back to the UK I don’t want you pair of bastards saying it was an unprovoked attack!!

and Giant Haystacks, Big Daddy, Kendo Nagasaki, Mick McManus at 4pm to take you up to football results off the teleprinter at 4:45.

As Lee Beevers said after the win at Burnley, the Lincoln City pre match Motto is: "Sleep well, be prepared"

They provided a bit of amusement for Mrs JBS and myself as we reviewed our traipsing round Prague before nodding off to sleep, friends who we were with the chap photographed every chuffing one I pointed out. I thought it would be a one (or two) off: nope every bloody one Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Keep it up lads, because you will be making one bloke very happy............. much to the embarrassment of his other half.

Trouble is it's hard to see past a ref who has openly said not too long ago, if one teams fans are getting on his back that will have an influence on his decision making in favour of the other side. There is no doubt that being a ref in the Premier League ain't an easy, due to the pace of play, then you add in that some of these refs are in their 40's and upwards, Neil Swarbrick is 51 (at 52 I would love to be fit enough to keep up with Redmond, Rashford, Long for 90+ minutes). Heard Dermot Gallagher say he knew it was time to hang up his whistle after a Villa v Man U game, Christiano Ronaldo had the ball and was off on his bike towards the Villa box, the attack broke down and the ball fell to Agbonglahor and he was off towards the Man U box, Gallagher joked that when Ronaldo set off it was 4:25 when he eventually caught up with Agbonglahor up the other end of the pitch it was 4:40: he decided then that he was verging on doing the game and himself a disservice. But back to Clatters, only recently when we played Liverpool in the league he delivered the most bizarre, and some might say blatantly biased decision against us, Liverpool had defended their box and the ball was in a break away position for Liverpool, just outside their box, one of our players had "fouled" a Liverpool player and the ball had broken to another Liverpool player, Clattenburg signaled an advantage, and the ball was worked up to Manė in our box closing in on the 6 yard box, Manė showed just enough of the ball to Virgil for it to be cleared into the stands. At which point Clattenburg blew his whistle and brought the ball all the way back for a Liverpool free kick just outside our box......... yes I view the game through Red & White tinted spectacles but if that game had been live on BT sport even Howard Webb would have struggled to defend that decision. All refs like all people have their faults, but when you have a ref who statistically is not in favour of your team when they are supposed to be totally impartial then it is hard to defend him. Put him into a European game or International Tournement and without doubt he is a very accomplished referee because he has no bias to give, in his own league though he exhibits some stinkers: especially in our direction.

Always think of this as his personal theme tune............. often shared with Mike Dean.

If I recall correctly, despite some of his decisions leaving you scratching your head, Jon Moss is actually one of the top refs for us.

Sadly Chez it ain't, we have been to away games where my 5'2" Wife seems to get the 6' plus bloke who chooses not only to stand up (no problem with that at an away) but in old grounds where the seats are on a slight step up from where your feet go he decides to stand on this slightly higher step totally oblivious to who is behind him and despite already having a perfect view. Also if you had been in Milan and seen the behaviour of some beered up Saints fans who bundled up the stairs then could not give a flying fk for Saints fans who had taken up their position earlier on the front row behind the railings and promptly stood in front of them at the rail, then got all borishly snarly nasty at anyone questioning their down right pig ignorance, then this kind of thing would hardly be a surprise.

A couple of seasons ago West Ham wheeled my little Donkey out against us and he was up against Yoshida, Maya had him under control the whole time to the point where Carroll was trying to knobble him by giving him a shove whilst airborne making out he was jumping to challenge for the ball, because Yoshida was winning every aerial ball, on the last occasion Maya had twigged his game plan and took half a step away Carroll pretty much missed Maya and came down crocked and was out for another 6 months as a result, if Carroll has half a brain he might be a tad cautious where Yoshida is concerned.

If it works that will pep up the dour spectacle we have endured more often that not this season.

A repeat of Maya sneaking one in like last season will do.

I just got it! It's been bugging me for ages. I knew I had seen Les Reed somewhere before........ he use to run that Tailors shop that sold new clothes to Emporers!!!

2nd half looked much better than it sounded in the first half Subs actually put a bit of lead in our pencil. Boufal replacing Tadic was the first injection, sorry to all those who sing his name to get a wave off him, but in all honesty he really does flatter to deceive, plays more touches than he needs does better crop circles than Fabrice Fernandes, against Liverpool last week he was as annonmous as admittedly Henderson was for them, Saturday came on ran about and waved his hands at team mates who weren't where he wanted them, on one occasion mid rant the ball was passed within an outstretched leg of him. But because he was having a winge and not paying attention he missed the chance to cut the pass out. He needs a bit of time on the bench to hopefully buck his ideas up......... Now Boufal is back maybe that will happen as he is like a box of fancy fireworks by comparison. Clasie is powder puff, the Premier league more often than not just passes him by - On Saturday aside from Long playing with himself alone up front, he was the senior player, and an International too, out on the pitch yet did chuff all until the last 5-8 minutes of the first half, with his experience he should have had more influence on the game and the nippers. Being replaced by McQueen tonight put a far better engine on the pitch tonight as you had a big lad who is no slouch and knows his way forwards and with the pace of Bertie behind him makes us far more potent down the left Sims replacing Redmond was spot on too, Redmond is a great runner but you can almost put your house on him getting to the edge of the box confronted by 2 defenders and just stop! At least Sims just keeps going and makes defenders work more under pressure as he is often on his way past them. Fair play to Redmond though he is a mere nipper in footballing terms compared to Tadic and Clasie and puts in more of a shift. Bit of a kick in the guts their winner tonight, (well taken though) as we were without doubt banging on the door repeatedly, it's just like we have all known all season we just don't have a prolific finisher in the box. Hopefully this new Johnny will be the missing link.

Hot knife and butter springs to mind

Back on the other side Mané on the bench went for a warm up just sat down and had a strap put on his knee, think he felt the heavy rain and thought "sod that why did I miss that penalty".

Don't be daft it'll be PEH and Reed

In other news Sideshow Bob has just smashed an absolute Exocet past the bin dippers!

Oops

Be interesting if he comes back and Liverpool get going again, how many if the fatter cats than Liverpool will come sniffing around for him this summer