John Boy Saint

Cheers Scotty you stinker for the edit. You must work for the sign zone late night on the BBC, except in this case help for the hard of not being able to insert pure filth into the written word out of their own imaginations. Nice to see that the much Maligned Muppet show cares for those less fortunate in the wider Saints community.

Worked with a very nice lass once who gave the impression that this kind of bedroom fun would be at the very bottom of her list. Then one night over dinner 10 of us sat round the table and the alcohol flowing nicely this subject popped up out of the blue, she pipes up "ooh we quite like doing that, we refer to it as going up the lakes!!". ......... One of the lads spurted a load of White wine over the table at this revelation. So the husband on mumsnet might not have been that wide of the mark!!!

I know someone......................... http://www.ipswichstar.co.uk/news/ipswich_the_lawn_raiders_turf_luck_for_grandad_after_thieves_pinch_his_front_garden_1_1332398 Funnily enough I spotted this while going to pay for fuel in Ipswich this afternoon!

I won't be counting the Chickens until I see a Fat Lady having a gargle before running up and down through her scales!

The smart chip will register when you leave the game early, when you have accrued 45mins of early leaving at half time in a random game your seat and "terrace" will lock you in and then sink into the ground automatically replacing you with a replacement fan who has been waiting patiently in a holding area for this very moment.

I like the fact that some folks are eager for QPR to go down only to pick up Taraabt and SWP!! Obviously after nearly 2 seasons of Adkins they still don't get it, stick them on the same side of the boat and we will be rowing in a great big circle. Both bloody useless to quote a QPR ST holder............ But hey let's add Barton to the shopping list and get a crap trio to throw into the bargain!

Just maybe this is another of BFS's weird ways of trying to unsettle us, planting a yarn like this for a few to sweat over in the hope that it seeps into the team casting seeds of doubt through the squad: amazed that we have sucked this up enough to go to 2 pages already!!

I thought we were the Judian People's Front............ Still blessed are the Cheesemakers! Strange I thought everyone knew we had a player factory like what Crewe have churning out household names of the future.

Little Warning QPR had it in the bag for the last game last season the bunting was out and they went and lost the last game! Look at the precarious position they are in now just because they let their guard down in their final game of the Championship. You never see the top teams taking pity on their opposition they just go out to get the job done, Alex Ferguson had no idea that he had just relegated his mate Brian Kidd after Man U had done Blackburn until someone told him in the post match TV interview, he sent his players out to win again.

Simple Dodge, call yourself a Church, get yourself a Sunday morning TV slot not forgetting your 0800 cough-up-you-gullible-fools telephone number and you can say what you like to like minded souls.

9 points in a week, what more can you ask for? (still not enough for some of the miserable gits sat around us). We are good, very good. We are very disciplined and patient in our play don't get flustered or jittery, we just work to a simple attractive system. Donny came for a draw and we bided our time then punished them. What a great corner from Fox, that Sharpe nodded in. Then Sharp showed his strength to snaffle the ball away and slot it in the net. Well done lads. Have a thought for the tiny nipper in the half-time relay, on the halfway line by the Kingsland. His team mate came down the line like a train, slammed on the brakes then fell on their backside Skittling the little chap in the process, fair play to him he recovered quickly & complete with limp made a good change over........... His team won in the end.

Always astounds me too, but then I am a tight ar$€ so I want to get full value for my £20 odd quid. I have said it before: August 2003 v Man Utd at 85minutes (0-0) on a Sunday the early leavers bell went off and the ants started down the stairs. On 88 minutes we scored a winner all those early leavers must have been gutted...... What a shame - NOT! Yes it's their prerogative to leave early, but if you are one please get on with it and bugger off because the amount of faffing about you see blocking the view of those behind................ Today in the Chapel 4 or 5 left and looked to be discussing their movements for the rest of the week oblivious to the game and those still watching!!! For those who don't think the players notice, they certainly do. Be funny if a couple of them ambled off the pitch at 85 minutes

Getting a booze cruise coach trip together: who wants to add their name to the list. Only a gag but you can see the return of the Booze Cruise to France.

As I posted on the other ticket mither thread. "We must be so stinking rich to apply policies that minimise tickets sales rather than encourage them to sell out" What is stunning is that Season Ticket holders are treated just like any other pay as you go customer, despite being naive enough to invest in the club up front. Getting a head start on away and cup tickets is very nice thank you. My mate has a ST and a son in full time education which also takes up many Saturdays so he is home for Easter and able to go to all the games, but his Dad has a Donny ticket just going to waste in his wallet: bit cheesy really. But hey the majority just roll with it.

We must be so stinking rich to apply policies that minimise tickets sales rather than encourage them to sell out.

That was a wheeze down the Ice Rink in Bannister Road all those years back, having your own Skates and the ability to Skate had the same pulling power as having a car, being able to Skate well and having a car................. Friday and Saturday nights were pure carnage flaying arms and legs, lots of fair maidens to save as they were about to hit the ice, but your mates were also looking for a chance to make you look a prat by dumping you on the ice in passing. We have one in Basingstoke I often think about dusting the Skates off again as I have never been so fit as I was back then.

We have friends who live in Hull, I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong with them until now.

In the Watford away programme the player profiles for us were very good, to the point of blowing sunshine up most of our players backsides. The one that did make me chuckle was the one for Jos, where they introduced him by saying he has more Airmiles than Phileas Fogg and listed the Europe wide teams he played for before us.

Not only is he a Predator, but he can also do a Diddly Dee on the ball according to Dave.

Shame the bestest fans point scoring has reared it's ugly head again, I would love to go to every game in a season but I have a life beyond Saints and will pick easier trips because I am lazy, plus driving 1000+ miles a week also blunts your desire to drive 400 miles on a Saturday. Anyway my mate acquired 6 tickets first thing this morning for a relatively simple trip to Crystal Palace, best make sure I have the kitchen rebuilt by then!!

Read a thing in my monthly Golf comic this morning about Rory and his implosion at the Masters last year. He said being in front meant he was out last and had a long time to waste and reading the papers and watching TV meant that he would see things about himself which he knew would do him no good. So maybe our offish attitude towards the press is part of the game plan in keeping the players feet on the ground, also the Swiss are very private about their business so this could also be natural operating procedure where the press are concerned. We have seen how the Media gets managers sacked and players sold, so at arms length is not a bad thing.

"Look will you stop badgering me, I have shown you once already and that player of yours scored!" "Ok one more time and this time pay attention, I will pass to Jack, who will head to Jose, who will set up Big Jos for 2-0 simples!!".

go on spoil yourself rotten!!

That is not nice, that has got to hurt like buggery.

Thanks to Solent for the prompt: Dave Merringtons Diddly Dee!!!