John Boy Saint

My Granny was 100 on Friday, she is all the way there and half way back still, during her Birthday celebrations on the Weekend my cousin had found out that there are over 9000 people 100 years or older living in the UK today....... I thought that was an amazing number of people to be that age. Just look at how the world has changed in those 100 years.

Come on you Numpties it will be José Mário dos Santos Félix Mourinho, and we will be playing Real Madrid in the Champions League by next Christmas. If I was in a job and every man and his dog was saying I will be out the door as soon as the new money takes over I would be pretty miffed. So come on guys lets be a little bit more sensitive towards a guy with a family to support, probably a mortgage to pay.

Apparently in Philadelphia US, the law is pretty definitely in favour of the home owner, basically while the criminal is still in your property it is open season. I had a friend who lived in Philadelphia for a while and many an early morning he saw someone holding on to a tree or lamp post for their lives while people in their pyjamas were trying to drag them back into the house!!

It will be amazing if it is. I like a bit of a cycle most evenings when I get home, I will happily ride for about 10 miles just to get some exercise after a day sat on my backside in the car. When I watch Le Tour my legs ache at the thought of of all those miles day in day out, throw in the mountains and I get short of breath for them. Its no wonder some of them are tempted by the darkside of the sport.

Who would have thought that you would still be watching a game at Wimbledon at gone 10:30pm

Looking after the guvnors house last summer, I noticed mouse activity so I set a couple of nasty traps placed on newspaper to reduce the splatt spread and primed them with Glace Cherries: Hey Presto! no more mice. If you do catch one in a humane trap put the trap securely in the car and drive five miles down the road or more before letting them free. Take them just down the road and a pound to a penny they will be back home before you are!

I made some Blackberry wine years ago, first attempt too, by the time it was bottled was crystal clear and tasted so good that the 6 bottles made vanished in a micron of the time that it took to produce it. Actually this year looks like it might be a good one for blackberry's I might dust off the kit that is lurking in the loft.

Post match interview Dimi said that based on his ability to be a bit of a Flashman in training, Tahir was put in as a **** or bust option to smack the ball out of sight to up the run rate or get out trying quickly without too much damage. I thought it was very interesting in the last 2 games that when it was going a bit "Pete Tong" Dimi comes to the crease and and an aura of calm and sensibility seemed to prevail.

When they start to get ripe get some of those light bags that you put your loose veg in when shopping in the supermarket to loosely tie over them otherwise the birds, especially Blackbirds and Starlings will be off down the road on their toes with armfuls of your crop. If you don't like eating them might be worth bottling them.

More like the Park Pruett inmates reunion, as it is now being converted into chintzy appartments............... You can't beat care in the community!

Ok a very dangerous thing to write a nearly 1am on a Sunday morning, but then knowing the agent in question he was probabably in his customer if they were of the double breasted mattress thrasher variety.

I have 2 Cherry Tomato's forming on my 4 Tomato plants in the grow bags outside my house, I think I have to help them along now with a drop of Tomorite. As for the advice to grow herbs from Hamster there is a strain that fits his specification, as a couple of horticulturist's in Silchester North Hampshire were dab hands at producing a useful quantity in various locations around the village: warmer summers usually helped.

I was at a Genesis concert at Wembley years ago, some lass got on her fellas shoulders and within seconds the air was full of bottles and cans all heading in their direction. 2 hours later the girl in front of us excitedly climbed aboard her chaps shoulders, all of us around them backed away as after 3hrs+ standing on the pitch the bottles with her name on were going to be the human Tizer and Iron Bru variety.

He will be relieved to know that.

Don't get much of a chance of office pranks where I work as I would be in the cross hairs of everyone else within a nanosecond. We did have a wizard wheeze a few months back when one of our Sales Agents requested a second sample of a personal safe thinking it was for him we primed 2 mouse traps inside and then stuffed it full of hole punchings knowing that by the time postie had jiggled it about the mouse traps would be free and when he put in the opening 000 combination like a Jack in the box it would explode spectacularly. 2 weeks later he was on the phone "who the ****ing hell did that!! I was in a customer showing him the safe and when it opened paper was everywhere" " He made me get the hoover out and tidy his office". Apparently it was the worst customer it could have happened in. 2 Months later the silly sod brought it to a trade show, as he had the only sample in a hurry, when he left the show his personal safe had 2 prawns and a quantity of Stilton Cheese stuffed under the lining. At another trade show years ago we had a shrinkwrap machine company on the next stand we had everyones presenters done but the best one was a miserable bugger who worked for us stupidly left his specs in their case on a table so they were shrinkwrapped when he got a customer he reached for his specs to read his price list then spent the next 5 minutes trying to open the case, his eyesight at that range was pants and we were not much help: his customer had tears rolling down his face.

This gets more and more like that Terry Gilliam Film Brazil everyday!!!

There must be loads of money coming in soon if they can turn their back on 20,000+/- X £20 for doing chuff all!

Is that what we will be called??!!................................................ Cool!

At least one week of the school holidays was always put aside to a full tournament played at different venues around the street with the fixtures arranged around when you didn't have to go and do something with your Mum and Dad. My Mum and Dad would not buy me a team of my own so for a while I had to borrow a team, until I had fished enough maimed players out of the bin and given them the £6m dollar man treatment complete with a snazzy gold strip (thanks to Airfix).

I got soap in my eyes and put that Perm mix you gave me, on my face instead of shaving foam.

Blimey! There was a whoosh just above my head just then.

She can leave her spawny husband at Chelsea.

In the wilds of North Hampshire 2 miles from Aldermaston everything over the news wires was screened for national security so the news did not get to me until after school, when I got in the house from school the phone was ringing it was my Liverpool mad mate "you are never going to believe who Saints have signed!", before I could guess he blurted out Kevin Keegan!!! I thought he was on a wind up............................ "Switch on Newsround and see for yourself if you don't believe me!!" Straight away on Newsround there it was John Craven saying the words as a Saints fan you never in your wildest dreams ever thought you would hear. I supported the team that had just signed the most famous player in the World: phenomenal. The next day our tight little gang of Saints fans were the centre of attention at School. He was just the tip of the iceburg to what was about to come our way with regard to players we signed, what great days they were even 30 odd years on they are permanently burned onto the hard drive between my ears!

Last league game at the Dell and the Midweek game at the Dell when we went into added time 0-1 down v Newcastle then smashed them to bits winning 3-1: on Solent the commentator sounded like he was going to explode as the 3rd went in( South Today the next night overlaid the footage with his commentary, priceless).

I think it does spread further than them, as not a Dickie bird has been said about West Ham and their owners money disappearing into the Icelandic banking collapse, I thought he had lost the lot and only goodwill was keeping him afloat. It would be funny to see either the Glaziers or Gillette and his mate go tits up and no bugger being around to clear up such huge debts with their loose change and then seeing what is done about it.