Stripey McStripe Shirt

Even when the pressure is off and you start to think England aren't utterly shit, you soon realise that, actually, England are still utterly shit (bar Root this test).

Not me. I didn't watch or listen because I forgot we were playing today 😎

Because pretty much anyone who has ever followed English football will know who you mean, unless it's specified otherwise?

I assume it's unrelated to the fact that a Venezuelan won the Nobel Peace Prize...

I've got a friend who's travelled out for days 3 and 4. He's also planning to watch the Aussie Open tennis with hopes of watching Jack Draper...who has pulled out injured today...

I know Root got a century earlier in the series, and seems more professional than most of the others, but for me he has been one of the biggest disappointments of the Ashes so far.

Bloody hell, it's be funny if it wasn't so pathetic.

Spending Christmas Eve in hospital with my youngest child, only to get discharged and go home, just in time for my eldest to vomit on me.

My heart bleeds...

Yep, woke up at about 3pm for a wee and had a quick check of the score, pleasantly surprised that they were still going. Obviously woke up a few hours later and not even remotely surprised we lost, fairy comfortably.

Yep. Especially the work "deck" which sounds too much like dick.

I can vouch for this. Well the sausage bit, not the rest of the nonsense.

Watched a bit of it. Looked more like a dance off than a boxing match for the majority of it. AJ clearly wasn't trying the first 4 rounds, and gradually got frustrated with the bell end.

His penis must be so tiny.

At the moment I'd fancy Cameron Archer to be more effective.

Erm, yeah about that...

Lol. Jokes on you, England will have already lost the cricket by the time this is on.

Yeah, but you have to verify your age for that these days.

Will anyone stay up tomorrow to watch the Jake Paul v Anthony Joshua fight? Can't say I'm massively in to boxing (I refuse to pay to watch box office stuff in particular), but I hate to admit that I'm intrigued by this fight. Joshua should, presumably, win comfortably by knock out. If he doesn't it's either one of the biggest shocks in sporting history or (much more likely) embarrassingly scripted. I don't know much about Jake Paul other than the fact that he looks like a fucking bell end. Hopefully he'll get walloped by the first punch.

Snicko? More like Shitto.

Switched on just in time for tea. What a pleasant surprise, only 5 down and not a single duck. 🫠

I need to wake up at about 4am tomorrow. I just know that when I do, the Aussies will still be batting (either the tailenders still going, or having starter their second innings. Neither would surprise me).

The 6-3 and 3-1 victories v United. As a poor school kid in Dorset surrounded by Man Yoo fans, it was rather enjoyable.

Not a patch on Rudi Skacel signing though.

A couple of off piste suggestions. Obviously not in the same league as the above, but honourable mentions for things that stand out for me. 2003 cup run (despite the loss in the final) JPT final Play off 2nd leg v Derby (despite the loss) The first game after Liebher took over - friendly v Ajax but just the sense that we had our club back, properly. First game back in the Championship v Leeds (suddenly the belief that we were REALLY back) Rickie Lambert's equaliser v City the following season. The 8-0 v Sunderland. Gabbiadini's winner v Swansea. Play off victory.