Stripey McStripe Shirt

Man Utd deploying very 'Saints against 10 men-esque' tactics.

For some reason, every now and again, I think of this tweet and remember what trailblazers we used to be.

Time to avenge the 9-0 properly. 10-0. Nothing less.

The Ashes

Yep. I'd volunteered to my wife to do the baby early morning feeds for the next few days whilst she has a lie in, on the expectation that I'd have some cricket to watch. Now what's the point? I've come across as a semi-decent husband and father for absolutely sodding reason.

Aussies will win this by at least 8 wickets from here. Scandalous really after yesterday's lifeline.

Oh c**t f**king c**t bags.

I've lived in Crawley for a few years and can confirm it's a shit hole. I've also watched Crawley, and can confirm he's a shit cricketer.

Should have had a lie in.

100%.

Nailed it.

Just seen Birmingham's new stadium. It's different, I'll give 'em that.

I announced the photoshoot for the new manager last week. Make of that what you like.

Zips. No idea how they work (probably witchcraft), but they're a game changer for coats and bags. Squirty cream. Provides the illusion of much volume in a deceptively small container. Tastier than normal cream for some reason. Connect 4. Cracking game, even for thickos. Classic is best but can be scaled up (e.g. for outdoor garden fun) or down (for convenience when traveling). Highly versatile.

Sports Republic are planning to give him an interview soon for a potential shock return. Should be back in the building just before he retires.

Yeah, me too.

If we don't get Gareth Southgate, I'll be furious. He's available, played and managed at top international levels, is a knight of the realm and has been in a funny Pizza Hut advert. No brainer.

She's a beautiful loony nutjob.

The doc is in the building.

Photoshoot booked in for 10am tomorrow 👀🤐

I saw that advertised the other day and genuinely could not think of anything worse. Alan Carr is just about manageable (well, he was on the Traitors at least) but Amanda Holden is odious in so many ways.

Possibly advertising the retro range.

How can you be sure?

Some people are going to think that's AI.