Costa del Solent

Sekou Mara - 30 games, 1 goal (0.03 goals per game) Dan N’Lundulu - 16 games, 1 goal (0.06 foals per game) Damion Downes - 14 games, 0 goals … so 0.00 goals per game Che Adams - 41 games, 15 goals (0.37 goals per game) Tall Paul - 36 games, 4 goals (0.1 goals per game) Can Archer - 35 games, 2 goals (0.06 goals per game) Ross Stewart - 26 games, 4 goals (0.15 goals per game) Kamaldeen Sulemana, 69 games, 3 goals (0.043 goals per game)

50p for whoever creates a video of Leo running along the Pompey fans in slow motion to ‘My Heart Will Go On’ by Celine Dion.

Thanks, my friend. Some well considered points. Just to push back on a couple, however: - research into the DNA of Pompey fans has come back inconclusive; leading discourse has drawn a link between decades of impregnating of fish (in particular, the skate) with mutations in DNA; - whilst research has concluded that the hearts of Pompey fans do, indeed, beat, recent studies have highlighted how their heart rates actually increase when thinking about their sisters; longitudinal studies continue to track this phenomenon - evidence actually suggests that the vast majority of Portsmouth fans do not have jobs. In fact, the only study that argued that they do was based on an analysis of three industries in Portsmouth: tattoo shops, pubs and fancy dress shops and it turns out that all of these industries are booming because of John Westwood. - whilst there are some quantifiable studies which seem to suggest Portsmouth FC fans have children, we might highlight that these studies were based on observations of their (predominantly male) fans bringing children to the games. More recent evidence, however, suggests that these were, in fact, either dates or cases of grooming. - they do indeed have dreams (see above comment regarding sisters) I hope this provides some clarity

It seems the poor lad also didn’t notice that he was holding the pen upside down

At the weekend, literally at the same time as this debacle was taking place, I had the pleasure of being in Prague and was completing a tour of Sparta’s stadium. The tour guide asked me who I supported, I said Southampton, he told me how he had been at the St. Mary’s game where we beat them 3-0. I remembered what a great time that was. Things have been so shit for so long.

Stop saying ignorant and backwards bullshit, much appreciated

Dickhead

Sooo many poor performances. Manning, in particular, had a shocker. Romeu is just a sentimental sandbag, players skipping past him for fun.

If we’d brought in a new manager who had had this impact, we’d all be calling him a magician. Im on the Tonda bus

But… the player literally scored. Like, literally scored a goal. So surely, even if you’re correct in your assertion that McCarthy wouldn’t have come out for the ball, it’s better to be one on one from eight yards than to literally concede a goal? im aware this may be a false dichotomy but it’s one for which McCarthy’s ineptitude is still more desirable than Bazunu’s ??

We are terrible and won… go figure. Since we’re riding the wave, a Wrexham goal would really make me sleep well

Took my 7 year old son today. He’d been to the Brighton friendly and pestered me to go since. Wanted to go to a league game. He was just totally dejected - not sad that we didn’t win, but just disappointed at what he was watching (as were we all). Easier to put him in a City or Liverpool shirt like most of his friends so that at least he can enjoy football. Seems a shame to introduce him to all this shit

Evident to anyone at the game. We’re set up wrong; five defenders and we’re lacking an AM in the hole. They are terrible but finding it very easy.

Then releases a statement saying: ’I’m Walking Away’

Any of you gorgeous slags got a stream??

You don’t honestly think AM was to blame for that goal?

Objectively, not a great result and always feels worse to lose a lead. that said, football is not played objectively, and in the context of our current situation, I think another step forward, far better than we’ve seen so far this season. Boro will get promoted this year. And we went toe to toe. Still deeply concerned about the real lack of in form goal scorer (Stewart did a lot well today but not convinced he’s the answer). more positives to take and, I hope, a purple patch soon.

Not a lot to be added outside of what’s been said: Woods has not done a lot wrong in a saints shirt and should be in at CB on Saturday Quarshie a solid showing Charles is a class act. Only getting better Arma worked hard and looked lively Our goalkeepers love giving goals away D.Downs is, on the evidence I have seen, stealing a living as a football player. His touch, his reading of the game absolutely shocking. Simply stunned that this was the result of scouting

I’m very realistic about things taking time and not sacking another manager everytime you’re in a sticky patch. At the same time, that was really quite atrocious.And Still’s interview didn’t fill me with confidence, following the game. the real frustration is that, as usual, so many fans read the situation. Bazunu is not good enough. We needed a new goalkeeper, not some third place bench warmer, a keeper to improve the teams straight away. We needed a striker. So many called it. None of our bunch have shown anything close to consistent form over the past 12 months and it was fairly apparent fairly quickly that Downs is, to put it politely, not very good. there were gaping holes, we all saw them, all apart from our illustrious leaders, so it seems - I’d take mid-table obscurity at this point also, I’m just so bored of feeling shit about football. No joy at all at the moment with this team

Call me an eternal optimist but my feeling is that this game came a little too soon for us. The mentality and tactics of the team was absolutely crippled last year. You don’t come off an embarrassing season like that without a lot of scars and Still has a big job on his hands. Not just improving the quality of the football but of the mentality of players who really took a kick-in last season. can’t use that excuse forever but I believe that the ins and outs of the summer took us in the right direction overall. We had three debuts and a home debut today. Any reasonable fan would understand that this takes time. last time we came down, we held on to some good players but also loaned in a lot of our team, then spunked our summer transfer budget resigning the same team. We can’t make that mistake again. Club needed a total overhaul and a total rebuild. Squad, tactics, culture, all of it. That takes time. The fish fuckers coming off the back of a full season in the championship, good start to the season and had a game plan. Circumstances dictate that we are in transition, off the back of an international break was a new look team and a new shape. first half was utter crap, total shit show. Still and the players have to answer for that. But I don’t think we’d give that performance in 4 months time, honestly.

Reckon he got tapped up last time he popped over for the hair transplant?

Come on! It’s gonna SLAM shut ffs

Anyone taken a dildo to the mush yet? I can’t relax until I know this has happened.

Above all else, getting rid of the spectre of last year was always going to be so important. Watching us against Ipswich and Stoke, I began to fear we’d be relying on those stranded on the titanic… We’re getting there now. Honestly (and selfishly) I’m not sold on the idea that our strikers are cut out for it but I’d loved to be proved wrong (and am well aware of the stats, thank you) I’d love a left winger and another fullback (incoming!?). Also hoping Bazunu has his break out season for us!! bring on the fish fuckers

And… who’s this little fella with the geordie accent that keeps running around claiming he’s a striker?