dubai_phil

Very very bright start from Saints whispers Dave Fonte with a 40 yard cross field ball

Sounds like our guys are back on line

You got one of them webcam spying things? Decided on a nice can of Guinness for the first half and brought a spare upstairs with me just in case... These Oldham guys need 5 minutes to look up the player names for us so we hardly get a name check All Southampton these early minutes

Sounds like Lambo having a pop or is it Harding good double save from their keeper

Here we go 32C here today feels like 39 with humidity EoA will be late on parade, he's driving back from The East Coast - yup winter s here so we get outdoors to start topping up the tans and getting Greenpeace all excited thinking there are beached Whales down here

Listening all across the grobe. Lol At least we have two mikes on Kicking toward Northam

Eeeh bah gum. Ecky thump. We brought a huge load of fans almost two hundred there is And they only have one mike switched on

Cool Saints Player has found a really funky way to crash before the game kicks off now.. Beep bleep barp burp bleep; searching; framed; Silence Oh well serves me right for getting all comfy nice and early and getting the weather report & nautical updates sorted

This is about bubbles & Bullsh1t. Chanrai will not have the wealth to get them up - heck he won't have enough to pay the wages, neither in truth will MM, BUT by pushing out the marketing BS they can make it APPEAR as though they have an established PL club that was hard done by. In the world of Austerity that now exists, there are still huge amounts of investment funds and investors around the world with big bucks to invest and they will not be earning any income UNLESS they lend funds to people. So a "Baloo Consortium" comes in and they have to stump up the cost of the architects plans for the Monkey Chicken Zoo, and trust me the whole game will be about "Flipping" the club. None of the investors today will want to wait around and play PL monopoly, just get in now wave some paper money around and find an Investment fund / person and double their money. I'd be really surprised if the next ownership is the answer to The Few's prayers, simply more of the same and a line of bankrupt shaikhs (Araibic ish for businessman rather than Sheikhs)

Oh no, THERE's a shock piece of news Not Let's face it, back on about page 10 of this thread we pointed out the level of quality, integrity and professionalism of the PR machine down the road and the skill sets of the target audience (PES Mero & Mack not withstanding). And here we are 35,000 odd posts later just having it proven to us again. Don't worry this thread will last through the next three owners over the coming 3 seasons

Yep - Aviva Premiership next season

Did he ever eggsplain who his sauce was?

Yep. Strangely enough, for the first time in ages I had breakfast before heading out. Relax gang, it's just a standard typical Middle East style negotiating tactic. We're not the only intelligent mega-beings around that had noticed a slight flaw in the financial plan of AA. The conversation would have gone "Hey Sacha, you know that money we owe you? We've sorted out the rotting fish and we'll pay you the 2.5mil in cash in installments now that we are making all this money from being back in the PL next year." Followed by - "yeah right", slam phone down and refuse to answer it for a day or five. Chanrai wants his money back from the parachute payments, he's just gonna have to take a hit and wait a little longer, which will leave newco with less cash and oops oh dear, I spy some loanees getting injured and being sent back to their clubs or just maybe, they really were so naive they thought they could get away with conning a con-man. PES - stick around dude

So, floating about on a sailing boat in the Middle of the Gulf and posting at 5:38 is followed by Twitter at 18:11 saying there are dead fish floating around in East Hampshire Spooky, to have so much influence while out of range of Wi-fi & Mobile Coverage eh chaps tick tock

So, floating about on a sailing boat in the Middle of the Gulf and posting at 5:38 is followed by Twitter at 18:11 saying there are dead fish floating around in East Hampshire Spooky, to have so much influence while out of range of Wi-fi & Mobile Coverage eh chaps tick tock

No.

I've had a really nice day out today - I went sailing. We took a few beers and there were lots of cute chicks in Bikinis and the sun shone We stopped off in the Palm Island for a swim. It was nice and cool and relaxing. Found a whole load of dead fish floating in the sea. I think it is a sign.

The top 50 Jokes of all time http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/theatre/comedy/8078185/Tommy-Cooper-dominates-list-of-best-jokes.html TOP 50 JOKES OF ALL TIME 1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you." 2. "I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a ****zu." 3. "Dyslexic man walks into a bra" 4. A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!" 5. A classic Tommy Cooper gag "I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays", was fifth. 6. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off. 7. Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant. 8. Another one was: Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied. 9. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. 10. A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road." 11. I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite. 12. My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked. 13. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one". 14. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal." 15. There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?" 16. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. 17. When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband". 18. "My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that." 19. I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller", he said "Not you again". 20. I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs. 21. A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything" 22. Slept like a log last night........ Woke up in the fireplace. 23. A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?" 24. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here" 25. The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?". 26. I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair. 27. Went to the paper shop - it had blown away. 28. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer." 29. I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, "Are you two an item?" 30. I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite......... one jar. 31. So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds". I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck". 32. Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here" 33. I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt. 34. There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. 35. I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said, "Those are pickled onions". 36. I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four. 37. I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for! You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!" 38. A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, What a turtle disaster 39. My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know! If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!" 40. I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?" I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin". 41. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it. 42. I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags, he's bisatchel. 43. You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter. 44. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." 45. I tried water polo but my horse drowned. 46. I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself. 47. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray. 48. Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners. 49. A seal walks into a club... 50. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'. So I went - and I got it.

Messi for Barca v Real Madrid in Nou Camp when Barca came back to draw with 10 men

Finally, Head, Nail. As so eloquently put. Nobody - ie NOBODY gives a feck about Poorsmuff. Nothing will be done while they are in admin, idle what if's on here not withstanding, but as dear departed Rupes learnt. Never upset the people around you. Tick Tock, plenty of time to go yet

When you are re-building something or implementing change, whether it is in an organisation or a football team there are many lessons to be learnt. We as fans (in the main) felt much more positive the past few weeks - we felt we could see the way forward or even that we would "walk this league (in most cases somewhere in between). From what I heard yesterday, it would seem the players thought the same as well. They had started to have confidence in the new ways and system and turned up all "expecting things to work like magic" and forgot that Football is also about effort, determination and desire. Lots more ups and downs to come I am sure, but as long as the players understood that they had a kick up the a*s yesterday then in the long run it will be agood thing to lose to a decent side as we now know what we have to do. I'm sure NA will be working on this, complacency breeds failure. Won't slit my wrists over it, everyone has off days or stupid results that are not expected - ask Man Ure fans today how they drew, how could EVS make a howler, or Chelsea fail to beat an average Villa side. All I HOPE is that we take it as a learning step NOT as a bad day at the office

The Linesman threw a Punch?

OK I know I was in Sharjah with no booze allowed up there, but am I right in thinking that Morgan has come on to replace the Linesman?

This man needs Medical Attention URGENTLY! He looked at their SHOES?

Just back. Nerve shattering drive from the wrong side of Sharjah, at least I was passenger so could have my eyes shut most the way Won our Golf League match in dry burning heat with a strong wind causing mini tornados with the dust. Thanks to EoA for the txt updates, surprised you all haven't slit your wrists with the Ups of the last weeks replaced with the downs of the first half Great to find Saints player isn't working either without the obligatory refresh reboot and kick OK so time for Plan B