dubai_phil

You couldn't make it up. And I'm not. Played golf today with a mate fark me it was hot. Anyways last 2 holes some geezer is on his own & we are hanging waiting for some muppets in front of us. So we say wanna join us for the last two holes? He's like yeah thanks... Lo and behold, he's a bloody Scouse. I say "You seen those new rules?" Grumble grumble. Oh we hit him with every one and he got more and more and more mad. Eventually he hit a really bad shot and we said Stop playing like a girl and wow, thought he was about to kill us & mate said - calm down, calm down... Oh it was beautiful his head just kinda went purple and (no not THAT head) and he slumped away. Damn they HATE it Oh and then we said Suarez will go to the Gooners...........

Depends on your criteria. Do you want to get here cheap or do you want to get laid 20 minutes after you land? The whole change planes stuff is pants yes it saves money but really? It takes like 10 hours. AF Biz class is fine but I found LH & AF in economy to be like soooooooo Ryanair without having to pay for stuff. GulfAir will be cheap but AF would be better Cheapest non stop deal is often Royal Brunei - really nice. BUT they don't serve booze... Which is actually NOT a problem as you go to Duty Free buy yourself a nice wine & spirit of your choice and they serve it for you - most mashed I have EVER been on a flight here tbh. Etihad may offer a cheap deal BUT you then have a skanky coach trip to here meh. Oh getting laid? Has to be Emirates, pick your target, smile, say please & thankyou and ask them how hard their job must be. Easy pickings. Avoid Eid (9th Aug, 16th ish of October) avoid school break up weekends and EK have some good deals on their web site But AF will get you here and yes you will have to drink Bullfrogs, have a curry at Ravi's & watch the Saints game at Barasti with the other nutters One option for non stop Tokes is Qantas They now have 2 daily flights that stop in Dubai & code share on ALL the EK flights from LHR & LGW Their tickets are cheaper than EK even on EK flights

I've found it so much more pleasant playing golf in the summer months in 40C heat since I shaved my armpits. And no, sorry hairy armpit German women are as attractive to me as the Hairy Bikers. ie Barf

Just found out who bought the ST next to me. Gonna have to get back to SMS more often next year

It could be happening. Seems Eric has been out scouting (he kept that bloody quiet, but then Mrs EoA is away at the moment. Gotta look forward to our new global fans coming to SMS now.

Think I may have mentioned we're BORED! Still, only one week to Eid and then we can go out and do stuff woo-hoo And two weeks to Footie on the Beach!

So we are helping Hawk-Eye out... Helping them to make sure their Technology works and that they make loadsa money from their contract. So that makes us friends of Hawk-Eye. Okey dokey, now all it needs is a teeny weeny little bug placed in their software to recognise when we are playing and ensure that every nearly across the line incident gets registered as a goal. So THAT's how we'll get into Europa League next year.

Duh, well obviously it's quieter than here. There are no good golf stories to read on that site.

Hmmmmmm

Well only if it's made by Merchant Ivory. Sneaky dirty double crossing bstds....

That document is more deadly than the deadliest Deadly Dossier of Dastardly Saddams duds. For you in PC land you'll all now get nicked or sent to the Race Relations Board if you ever try and insult a Scouser. Oh but for us in the Lands of The Free. It is such sweet Ammunition. We can run out all of those and they would know that if they ever responded they'd be banned from their tribe for life. Which is another way of saying I'm playing golf with a Scouser tomorrow. God I'm gonna have fun with this (Oh and yes Tokes that was a trap you get to the end before the G word. You try and trap everyone's favourite Bear with Dead People in French Indo-China and well, gloves are on mate

Think you are kind of missing the point there tim. Ali Dia is acceptable but MLT?

Sh1t why TODAY of all days. Our Dubai Saints Secret Agent was at the bloody shop y'day. (NOT buying a shirt we'd like to add)

Or it could be a photo shoot of 1st Team players "helping out" in the shop to cope with the demand for the new shirts......

Yeah but what if you bought like one player like Adam Johnson for a zillion and left 50 quid for all the others? Maybe a minimum per player. We needs an expert on this stuff I've never done it before 'cos I don't play FIFA 1989 let alone this month's version.

Never done one before so needs an expert. Are any free to do? (Don't want the Bear to miss out) Thing is we should do one based on criteria such as The winner is the one with the least points each month All the players have to be real and have weird or funny names Must have one famous or expensive player in the team. Must have one Saints 1st Squad player in the team +100 points if they get less than one appearance a month or something (ie you can't pick Gazza!) Any ideas anyone know how to set this up and do a linkythingy?

Shilton?

Oh NO - DISASTER!' Toke's in not ITK shocker. Next we'll hear that Turks & GS know nothing about the shop either

Holy SH!T. they have real life CCTV coverage of Bearsy on holiday and it made it into the Press! http://metro.co.uk/2013/07/27/cheeky-bear-walks-into-irish-bar-in-the-rocky-mountains-video-3900812/ Here was Toke's sending him a text and not seeing him http://metro.co.uk/2012/04/13/unsuspecting-texter-gets-a-fright-after-accidentally-bumping-into-giant-bear-396628/

Nobody has said that Qatar deserve the World Cup apart from Sour Mash in his rant. The ARAB world deserved to host a World Cup, when added to the Iranians in this area they have a huge combined population. Strangely, each country in the AQrab World have their own professional Football Leagues, FIFA standard Referees, Live Television Coverage of every game. Then German, Spanish, French, MLS and British Televised matches are shown in the entire region. EVERY Premier League match is shown (which is more than you do in the UK). Those Arabs PAY for that coverage so they have an interest in and deserved the chance to host the World Cup. Hell the DEMAND is growing as are the Subscriptions -as you have seen this season with Saints, their TV money/PL income has gone up in part due to the sale of Overseas TV rights. The Arab World deserved the World Cup. Unfortunately, the only viable BID came from Qatar. The Arabs won't care, they won't be worried about buying a warm Budweiser in the stadium, they won't be demanding Gay Rights when staying in the 5 star hotels or commuting in on the Low Cost airlines. WE knew it was insane a long time before the rest of the world woke up to what was happening. Just don't go bidding for any of the work over there is all I can offer as advice, and there will be more than enough British Soccer fans able to day trip in around here to fill the stadiums whichever UK based National Team qualifies. We won't need the plastics coming in and being all anti-cultural in the name of PC ness

Loved this day trip last year. Beer by the river some weird Wholemeal Pastry Pie. Bonkers Snow on the way home. Still back to Salisbury in time for a damn good Curry. #jealousofyoulotthisyear

Or maybe some comment on this http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2380863/Firefighters-reveal-erotic-bestseller-50-Shades-Grey-sparked-surge-people-trapped-HANDCUFFS.html

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo FFS you lot, get back to posting Bewbs

Member of Dubai Saints is in Southampton today. She tweeted & FB'd us. Anyone want anything from the Saints Store? She had 15 replies all saying the same thing. She said, don't be stupid, I'm not getting one of THOSE home shirts

Why did football fans in England deserve it? Do you honestly think you are the ONLY fans of FOOTBALL in the world? Europe & The Americas carved up hosting the WC for decades until it went to Asia in 2002 (which was a huge success) The African Nation (& Shakira) had their tournament in 2010, the Arab world have theirs this time round. The PEOPLE deserve it. Not the Governments