trousers

I've been thinking too hard (for once) and come up with this somewhat bizarre conspiracy theory. Enjoy December 2013.... Katharina Liebherr: "Nicola, I've decided I want to sell the club. Are you still in touch with that rich Chinese fella who is looking to buy a club in the Premier League?" Nicola Cortese: "Yes, I am. In fact, I thought my cover had been blown the other day as someone on the Saints Web Forum mentioned the meeting I had with Jianlin in London recently. How much are you looking to sell for?" KL: "I want at least £200m" NC: "Blimey O'Reilly. £200m? Jianlin is only willing to pay £100m" KL: "Hmmm. Ok, how about this for an idea. We engineer your departure during the January transfer window and leak to the press that the club is in meltdown. Then, at the end of the season we get rid of Mauricio and as many as the high-value players as possible. As soon as I get £100m in player sales I'll put the club up for sale which is your cue to come back and buy the club with Mr Jianlin for £100m. It's a win win." NC: "Hmmm, but that could mean the club starts the next season a lot weaker with the danger of relegation. That might put Mr Jianlin off altogether." KL: "Fair point. Ok, how about we steady the ship somewhat by appointing a decent replacement manager and let him spend a portion of the money we make from player sales on decent but cheaper foreign imports. It might mean I don't get the full £200m but it'll still be considerably more than the £100m Jianlin is prepared to offer." NC: "That could work. I could even get that Ben Smith chap to interview me at the end of the season to reiterate that I wouldn't sell any of the players or let Mauricio leave. That way we'll put the media off the scent of our longer term plan" KL: "Excellent idea. Yes, the media must get the impression that we've fallen out otherwise this won't work" NC: "Right you are Ms Liebherr. I'll let Mr. Jianlin know what the plan is. I wonder what the fans will make of it all?" KL: "I wouldn't worry about that. They'll simply see it as me asset stripping the club but that will all be forgotten when you come back on the scene with Mr Jianlin's billions." NC: "Leave it with me then Katharina. It's going to be fun watching the fall out on the Saints Web Forum over the next 9 months or so! Ha ha ha ha" KL: "Ha ha ha ha"

*sensible newspaper article klaxon*

Nail. Head. The bit about us achieving our goals 'too quickly' is probably the most poignant. One year later and the World Cup wouldn't have acted as the 'head turning' catalyst it has possibly been to many of our players this summer. Damn you Nigel Adkins for being TOO successful....

If only we had another thread that was already covering this kinda stuff....

@NabilHassan79: Re: Chambers. Talk of Jenkinson & Serge Gnabry joining #saintsfc on loan. Gnabry "going to be world class" says #afc-supporting colleague

Yep.... People in football never say one thing then do another....

He's already doing that.... Possibly.

£20k?

@bigadamsport: Arsenal & #saintsfc agreed fee for Callum Chambers who had a medical yesterday - wow - didn't Saints say he was injured last night ?

I think that's what they call in the trade "convenient"....

@bigadamsport: RT @LFC: #LFC confirm that Adam Lallana is set to miss the start of the season due to a knee injury - http://t.co/h8rFeiItOu/s/D9FW

Give it 6 months and we'll all be wondering what this fuss over a left back replacement was all about.... Probably

@bigadamsport: RT @solentsport: Koeman described talk of a bid for Fraser Forster of Celtic, and an incoming bid for Calum Chambers as "rumours". #SaintsFC

...

I'm not sure I'm ever going to recover from the ignominy I'm feeling right now

Alex Crook blocked me on Twitter this morning so I've lost one of my top notch sources of exclusive hot-off-the-press Saints news now.... What with being blocked by Neil Allen a few months ago I'm running out of tweets to cut and paste. Just Bobby Davro and Keith Chegwin left now.

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/5f5ba3ca-132e-11e4-8244-00144feabdc0.html#axzz38OtBjeuU Mods - grateful if you could change the thread title to "Green leaves on strong branches" when you get a spare moment please

http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/aston-villa-transfer-news-paul-7483446

Koeman: "Boruc will play at #AFCB on Friday. Steven Davis has minor injury. Tadic back in Holland temporarily." #SaintsFC

@SouthamptonFC: VIDEO: @Koeman1963 was pleased to see #SaintsFC rack up their third victory in a week by beating @Official_STFC - http://t.co/Pzwu5RROpg/s/cwTK [video=youtube_share;J1jQ3Q6Zy00]

BBC Solent Sport ‏@solentsport Koeman: "I only said Ron Vlaar was a good player. There's nothing more to it than that." #SaintsFC Alex Goring Crook ‏@alex_crook Koeman on Vlaar 'I know Vlaar. He played at Feyenoord and did a good job at the World Cup. It depends on the Lovren situation.' #saintsfc